Sunday, October 27, 2013

Blood clots



Not sure if it's my generation. Or my religious upbringing. Or my dad's unwavering devotion to his boys, but I was not raised as a princess. Tomboy would be generous. My brothers would drag my sister and I out to play football, baseball, climb trees, run around on the roof, etc.

And this week, after a particularly grueling week of workouts in addition to starting a marathon training plan (wait for it - you know I'll talk more about it over the next 16 weeks) which included suicides - timed suicides, two days of intense upper body weights and one day of 3 on 3 full court basketball, I'm dead.

I watched my daughter play basketball with us. Steve, another gentleman Steve's age, a high school freshman, a high school junior and a high school senior. It was brutal. I have some basketball playing in my background so I know positions and correct way to shoot which is no guarantee it will go in the basket, and can run and dribble and make a lay up. I was unprepared for how tired I would be the next day.

I work out in skirts and I even have several workout dresses (think tennis?). But I'm not princess looking. In Marquis' words, I look tough.

I would like to be a princess for a day. So I may just buy me a tiara and wear it. With my wedding dress. I'm not too old to pretend.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

That's not my God







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[No Subject]







Baker, Patsy A
To Me



Oct 23 at 2:42 PM






I saw one of those sayings about God that made me cringe. This happens a lot.



“Don’t ever tell God you can’t take it anymore because he will give you more to prove you wrong”.



God is not a bully. He is not trying to break you with the weight of the world. I know sometimes it seems like everything piles up on you till you can’t take it. But he is not sitting on his throne in heaven gleefully rubbing his hands together saying “she just thinks she’s overwhelmed, wait till she sees what’s coming next! I’m going to prove to her she is stronger than she thinks”.



Here’s my belief on this, and a few scriptures to show where I’m getting my ideas.



Jesus offers rest “come unto me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”. He doesn’t want us to run on our own, pushing forward against walls we can’t move. He wants us to come to him and rest.



Jesus gives us his own strength “God will strengthen you with his own great power so you will not give up when troubles come but you will be patient”. Colossians 1:11 When troubles come, and they will, it doesn’t say, be prepared, just when you think you’ve had enough I’m going to whack you with more, nope. Says I will strengthen you with my power. (This is the same power that called Jesus out of the tomb three days after he died. That’s power.)



And this one is very specific about Moses literally being put in a cleft between the rocks so the very glory of God didn’t kill him when he passed by. “When my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.” Exodus 33:22 What if, just suppose, WHAT IF we are covered in a cleft while God passes by and that is why we don’t see his glory? Why we don’t see him at work? What if when we look back at the lowest point when we feel all alone and realize that he was actually covering us while he passed by and fixed our problems?



Patsy Baker

Spirit AeroSystems, Inc.

Wichita Operations SCM
Supply Chain Management Procurement Agent

M/S K95-49, cell 316-207-6097

E-mail: patsy.a.baker@spiritaero.com








Reply, Reply All or Forward | More















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[No Subject]







Baker, Patsy A
To Me



Oct 23 at 2:42 PM






I saw one of those sayings about God that made me cringe. This happens a lot.



“Don’t ever tell God you can’t take it anymore because he will give you more to prove you wrong”.



God is not a bully. He is not trying to break you with the weight of the world. I know sometimes it seems like everything piles up on you till you can’t take it. But he is not sitting on his throne in heaven gleefully rubbing his hands together saying “she just thinks she’s overwhelmed, wait till she sees what’s coming next! I’m going to prove to her she is stronger than she thinks”.



Here’s my belief on this, and a few scriptures to show where I’m getting my ideas.



Jesus offers rest “come unto me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”. He doesn’t want us to run on our own, pushing forward against walls we can’t move. He wants us to come to him and rest.



Jesus gives us his own strength “God will strengthen you with his own great power so you will not give up when troubles come but you will be patient”. Colossians 1:11 When troubles come, and they will, it doesn’t say, be prepared, just when you think you’ve had enough I’m going to whack you with more, nope. Says I will strengthen you with my power. (This is the same power that called Jesus out of the tomb three days after he died. That’s power.)



And this one is very specific about Moses literally being put in a cleft between the rocks so the very glory of God didn’t kill him when he passed by. “When my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.” Exodus 33:22 What if, just suppose, WHAT IF we are covered in a cleft while God passes by and that is why we don’t see his glory? Why we don’t see him at work? What if when we look back at the lowest point when we feel all alone and realize that he was actually covering us while he passed by and fixed our problems?



Patsy Baker

Spirit AeroSystems, Inc.

Wichita Operations SCM
Supply Chain Management Procurement Agent

M/S K95-49, cell 316-207-6097

E-mail: patsy.a.baker@spiritaero.com








Reply, Reply All or Forward | More















Wine


I saw one of those sayings about God that made me cringe. This happens a lot.


“Don’t ever tell God you can’t take it anymore because he will give you more to prove you wrong”.

Not Biblical. Not even good theology or decent logic.

God is not a bully. He is not trying to break you with the weight of the world. I know sometimes it seems like everything piles up on you till you can’t take it. But he is not sitting on his throne in heaven gleefully rubbing his hands together saying “she just thinks she’s overwhelmed, wait till she sees what’s coming next! I’m going to prove to her she is stronger than she thinks”.

Here’s my belief on this, and a few scriptures to show where I’m getting my ideas.

Jesus offers rest “come unto me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”. Matthew 11:28 He doesn’t want us to run on our own, pushing forward against walls we can’t move. He wants us to come to him and rest.

Jesus gives us his own strength “God will strengthen you with his own great power so you will not give up when troubles come but you will be patient”. Colossians 1:11 When troubles come, and they will, it doesn’t say, be prepared, just when you think you’ve had enough I’m going to whack you with more, nope. Says I will strengthen you with my power. (This is the same power that called Jesus out of the tomb three days after he died. That’s power.)

And this one is very specific about Moses literally being put in a cleft between the rocks so the very glory of God didn’t kill him when he passed by. “When my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.” Exodus 33:22 What if, just suppose, WHAT IF we are covered in a cleft while God passes by and that is why we don’t see his glory? Why we don’t see him at work? What if when we look back at the lowest point when we feel all alone and realize that he was actually covering us while he passed by and fixed our problems?

And how about "for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

At my roughest times (and boy have there been doozies) when I knew I couldn't take anymore. Absolutely without a doubt knew I couldn't take anymore, I would always somehow be reminded that I didn't have to. There is peace and rest when you take it to God. When you "cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you" I Peter 6:7

So whatever heap is on you right now, God isn't trying to prove you wrong that you can't handle more. He just wants you to let him handle it for you. And really, truly, he will.

I have a very dear friend, awesome Christian lady who at a rough point in her life actually told God "you're going to have to use the donkey" Numbers 22:21-41 is definitely worth the read.

Look up friends, because there is strength and power and rest and companionship. Everything you need. There is PEACE.































































































































































Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Does that make me crazy?

I bought a new oven mitt. At the dollar store.

It's ridiculous how happy this oven mitt has made me.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

A story of restoration

This summer Whitney turned 17. Got her license. Started senior year. My job changed. I have to be at work by 7:45 to update two reports before a mandatory meeting at 8:15 everyday. Whitney needed to be able to drive herself to school.

So, Steve and I talked (and talked and talked and talked) about what to do. Once we decided the dream of a Hummer was exactly that and would stay a dream, we had to choose a course of action. We went auto shopping. We didn't know what we were going to do. The only for sure plan was I was happy with my 6 year old SUV. Were we getting Whitney a car, or Steve a car and her the Camaro.

Steve totally surprised me by picking a Ford Fiesta. Brand new, but still well within budget, 40 miles to the gallon, very economical insurance wise. And all were happy. Until a week into this. Steve told me he missed his Camaro. And Whitney wasn't crazy about the stick shift and the power of his beast. And the second week of school someone hit the back of the Camaro in the school parking lot. Rite of passage, every one of my kids was in a fender bender of some sort in the Heights parking lot. Except in Whitney's words "but I was the only one that did it in Dad's car".

That day Steve took the Camaro back, gave Whitney the 6 year old SUV, bigger, taller, stronger car, and I have the Fiesta. Makes the most sense, Steve and Whitney both drive less than 5 miles to school and work while I drive 15 one way plus run errands on the way home, etc. I'm okay with it, now, like it more and more the longer I drive it. And when I drove to Lawrence (and back) for $45 in gas, I really was okay with it.

And the Camaro went into the shop for restoration. It's needed some body work for 2 and half years. It was hit in a parking lot in a hit and run and also I had to push it out of a snow drift with the SUV around the same time which messed up the front fender. Both of these are associated with bad memories for me. They can and have triggered some rough spells for me. I am quite happy to get this car back to it's former glory. Steve - well, what can I say. His favorite material possession is his car. He is emotionally attached to it. Not in an unhealthy way, I find it comforting (and kind of sweet) how much he loves this 13 year old car.

Restoration is an awesome concept. Webster's definition "the act or process of returning something to its original condition by repairing it, cleaning it, etc."

God has done so much restoration in my life, I love the similarities here in something that was not beautiful being brought back to its original beauty. Just like we were willing to spend what it took to make it whole again, time and money, God has been willing to expend what it takes to make me whole. Restore me. Make me beautiful.

I've always thought of restoration in the sense that it's not as good as new. But after this experience I realize that it is as good as new. It is the same as new. Because Steve's car is as good as new. It may have replacement parts and some repairs done, but once the replacement parts are put on and the repairs are done and the new paint is put back on, it's show room beautiful again. No one who didn't see it damaged would know that it has been damaged.

I believe, in a lot of respects this is an object lesson for my life as this mirrors my life.

I've been restored. Unless you saw the broken, you wouldn't know about it. The repairs are made, replacement parts put in place, and the fresh new covering blends them in and shows that I am whole. I am good. I am not inferior, I am not wrecked.

I went back and read this, He makes me new.





Sunday, October 13, 2013

Running, running and running, running!

Steve finished his 5th hundred mile race this morning. Even more impressive than that (to me, anyway) is that in 4 weeks time he finished 3 ultra races.

Hawk 100, then a Saturday off, Flatrock 50K, then a Saturday off, then Heartland 100. Hawk is extremely difficult. Flatrock is technical and difficult, but only 31 miles. But it was 31 miles of rain, so water coming at you, coming out of you, and mud sucking your shoes.

Steve was seriously fatigued early in the race, but there was no complaining or whining - never is. But he also didn't share that he was feeling that way.

Starting line at 6:00 a.m. Early and cool.

Coming into the aid station at mile 25. Certainly explains Kansas reputation as a flat and covered with wheat. Now if I had just got the picture of the cow that was as big as my SUV running down the side of the street, stereotype complete.

The first half of the race was pretty uneventful. Steve ran well, had a few close running friends at about the same speed as him, and he was keeping to his planned pace. Which is great for me. Sophia was there crewing and pacing a girl who was running about the same speed as Steve at that time so I had a friend to hang out with most of the day light hours myself. It was not a large race, but there were enough runners that Steve really was never a lone and that's a good feeling for me.

Marquis texted me early afternoon to ask what time he needed to be there and said he was bringing friends. I will interject here, Marquis has never run further than three miles. And he planned to run 6 miles. He brought his friend (and mine) Harpreet, and Harpreet's girlfriend Christina. An actual runner, marathon finisher herself.

These three were Godsends, especially considering the physical and mental fatigue he was feeling.

A couple of highlights with these guys, the full on chest bump when Marquis finished his 6 mile stretch was wildly popular with the aid station and radio volunteers. It was quite impressive. I can't jump that high on a trampoline.

And Harpreet came back to the car to get Steve's long pants at mile 75 because it was cold. As he sprinted to catch up with Steve another runner said to his pacer "I don't care if he is a pacer, that's just wrong". Easily amused at 3:00 a.m. when I've been up since 4:00 a.m. the previous day living out of my car and eating out of a cooler.

These three were invaluable to Steve, as they got him through 25 rough miles. They all let him set his pace, run according to his body, and because of this he was able to run quite a bit of the last 16 miles as the morning arrived and he didn't think he would be able to. They were also invaluable to me as I knew there were three people on the course dedicated to making sure he got to the next aid station, basically he got to me.

I thought I hired a trainer, but I made a friend.

Off in the to sunset with Marquis at mile 57.5.

And the finish line with the race director. Well earned belt buckle and hoodie.

Steve is taking a break from 100 mile races for an "undetermined" amount of time. He has every intention of running, even running ultra's, but will keep it at the 50K and 50 mile distance for awhile.

And maybe some shorter 10 milers with me while I build my endurance and distance back up.


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Does that make me crazy

I got to my 5:45 training appointment an hour early. I figured I'd put my hour to good use and run. 3.5 mile loop.

Three quarters of a mile to go I was struggling. But if the timing was right Steve and Whitney might drive by and see me walking.

So I wouldn't walk.

I didn't want the people who see me at my very worst catch me walking. Some weird kind of pride.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Of detox (headaches and hunger pains)

I lasted one day ONE DAY! on Marquis detox plan.

3 mile run

Shake one - V8, kale, spinach, strawberries and protein. Taste wasn't bad.

Shake two - standard protein shake, chocolate covered strawberry, it was good.

Lunch was a huge salad. With fat free French dressing.

Then I had more V8 and an orange and about 3 glasses of green tea.

At 4:30 I got home from work to get ready for my training work out.

Steve says "you know, you don't have to do this". I went straight to the kitchen for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I talked with Marquis about adding more food and trying again. More like a body builder building lean muscle.

Will see. I have this problem.

I LOVE FOOD!


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Does that make me crazy

I love cake. Never been a secret.

This week I made a caramel apple cake with caramel frosting.

Some flavors just don't translate well to cake. Over half of it went in the trash.