Tuesday, June 16, 2020
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
It's going to be hard, but hard is not impossible
This is a running quote I like. Hard. Not impossible.
There are so many scriptures that talk about the impossible being possible. About our strength in Christ.
"For nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37
"I can do all things through Christ because he gives me strength" Philippians 4:13
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9
One of the hardest things I ever did was watch my son drive down the road when he moved out and two and half hours away. (you can click here to read the post)
(for those of you who've been with me from my blog beginning, you remember the post above, and a few sad ones after)
A dear friend of mine is taking her son to college tomorrow. Google shows it to be 11 hours. If my son lived there, I know it wouldn't take me that long. My heart is tender for her. My Nate was 19 when he left. He's 26 now. And still owns my heart. I've said it many times that he didn't steal my heart, I handed it to him when he came out of the womb and he's had it ever since. I know that just as my boy is special and I love him, her boy is special too, I can see it, and I know she loves him fiercely, (I can see that too).
I just wasn't expecting it to bring up so much emotion for me, remembering. It's part of life, children grow up and become adults and embark on their own lives, and no matter what we do, we can't stop it. And we shouldn't. Today's parents should do better at kicking them out of the nest.
When I was "remembering" tonight, the verse below came to mind.
“And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart” Luke 2:19
Another version says she "treasured" them. This is something mothers understand. How you can hold on to a memory. Treasure a memory. The first time you held them. The smile that would make you do anything. The feel of baby hair between your in fingers as they nap in your lap. The hurts you couldn't fix.
So tonight and tomorrow and as often as it comes to mind, my heart and prayers are with Cindy (and Meredith and Sonya) as their babies leave for college.
There will be some hard moments. But not impossible. God will be with mama, and he'll take care of the boy.
There are so many scriptures that talk about the impossible being possible. About our strength in Christ.
"For nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37
"I can do all things through Christ because he gives me strength" Philippians 4:13
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” 2 Corinthians 12:9
One of the hardest things I ever did was watch my son drive down the road when he moved out and two and half hours away. (you can click here to read the post)
(for those of you who've been with me from my blog beginning, you remember the post above, and a few sad ones after)
A dear friend of mine is taking her son to college tomorrow. Google shows it to be 11 hours. If my son lived there, I know it wouldn't take me that long. My heart is tender for her. My Nate was 19 when he left. He's 26 now. And still owns my heart. I've said it many times that he didn't steal my heart, I handed it to him when he came out of the womb and he's had it ever since. I know that just as my boy is special and I love him, her boy is special too, I can see it, and I know she loves him fiercely, (I can see that too).
I just wasn't expecting it to bring up so much emotion for me, remembering. It's part of life, children grow up and become adults and embark on their own lives, and no matter what we do, we can't stop it. And we shouldn't. Today's parents should do better at kicking them out of the nest.
When I was "remembering" tonight, the verse below came to mind.
“And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart” Luke 2:19
Another version says she "treasured" them. This is something mothers understand. How you can hold on to a memory. Treasure a memory. The first time you held them. The smile that would make you do anything. The feel of baby hair between your in fingers as they nap in your lap. The hurts you couldn't fix.
So tonight and tomorrow and as often as it comes to mind, my heart and prayers are with Cindy (and Meredith and Sonya) as their babies leave for college.
There will be some hard moments. But not impossible. God will be with mama, and he'll take care of the boy.
Friday, July 13, 2018
Free
I got a letter in the mail a couple weeks ago. It filled me with fear. It's not a big deal, either. Just part of life. But there it was, fear, staring me in the face. I can't change the situation. It's not a situation that needs changing. It's (probably) not anything to fear. Yet..FEAR
Then, Steve sent out the list of music for the worship set 7/22/18. No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music.
Slavery. Slaves. Enslaved.
The original Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic that the Bible was written in used the word slaves (and forms of) much more than we see in our current versions. Apparently the word "Slave" had a negative connotation and was replaced by the word "servant" or "serve" as much as possible. American history and all.
See the difference, here though? Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else. he will hold to the one, and despise the other, Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
You can serve two masters. I could conceivably be a servant in a household during the week and another one on the weekend. However, I cannot be a SLAVE to two masters. When you are a slave, the master owns you.
With God as my master, I am owned by him. 1 John 4:8 "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."
God's perfect love casts out my fear.
I'm no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God.
Then, Steve sent out the list of music for the worship set 7/22/18. No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music.
Slavery. Slaves. Enslaved.
The original Greek/Hebrew/Aramaic that the Bible was written in used the word slaves (and forms of) much more than we see in our current versions. Apparently the word "Slave" had a negative connotation and was replaced by the word "servant" or "serve" as much as possible. American history and all.
See the difference, here though? Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else. he will hold to the one, and despise the other, Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
You can serve two masters. I could conceivably be a servant in a household during the week and another one on the weekend. However, I cannot be a SLAVE to two masters. When you are a slave, the master owns you.
With God as my master, I am owned by him. 1 John 4:8 "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."
God's perfect love casts out my fear.
I'm no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God.
Sunday, April 30, 2017
Whatsoever things...
Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
This verse has been rattling around my head for the last couple of days. Mostly because I have been in some conversations that I should've shut down, because they did went against the above guidelines.
One of the things I use to keep from talking about rough times is that "it wouldn't be edifying". I believe that I am supposed to protect my marriage and my family. I do not ever want to put Steve in a bad light, and that means there are issues we've dealt with that do not need to be shared. The chance that they might help others who are in a situation does not outweigh our right (his right) to privacy and mine to protect him.
I believe this for my kids as well.
In this day of social media and multiple ways ofvomiting spewing sharing what's going on in your life, it's easy to over share.
I think maybe it's time to protect those we love.
I think it's time to keep things to ourselves that are not edifying.
I think it's time to "think on these things".
This verse has been rattling around my head for the last couple of days. Mostly because I have been in some conversations that I should've shut down, because they did went against the above guidelines.
One of the things I use to keep from talking about rough times is that "it wouldn't be edifying". I believe that I am supposed to protect my marriage and my family. I do not ever want to put Steve in a bad light, and that means there are issues we've dealt with that do not need to be shared. The chance that they might help others who are in a situation does not outweigh our right (his right) to privacy and mine to protect him.
I believe this for my kids as well.
In this day of social media and multiple ways of
I think maybe it's time to protect those we love.
I think it's time to keep things to ourselves that are not edifying.
I think it's time to "think on these things".
Monday, April 17, 2017
Naked and Afraid
Steve and I watch this show. I have a PSR (primitive survival rating) of zero. I like my comforts.
I get a real kick out of contestants saying "you guys at home have no idea how hard this is. This is no joke". Really? I'm scared of the garter snake in my yard. Anaconda or black mamba? Terrified. Jaguars? I'm scared of the neighbors Dachshund. I send my steak back if it isn't cooked right. No way i'm eating rat-ka-bobs. I whine if I step on a sand burr. I've seen the thorns. Naked and afraid? The thing I'm least scared of is being naked.
I am fascinated by the strength of will these people have. The survival skills. The toughness. The fearlessness.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I thought about the things I'm afraid of. Then the verse above came to mind. There are things I'm afraid of. Obviously I'm not going to audition for Naked and Afraid. Because I don't want to be one, and I already am the second. But I don't need to be afraid of anything.
I've been singing this old hymn in my mind all evening.
How Firm A Foundation
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said—
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
“Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
“The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”
I'm going to keep these words close to me, and "fear not".
I get a real kick out of contestants saying "you guys at home have no idea how hard this is. This is no joke". Really? I'm scared of the garter snake in my yard. Anaconda or black mamba? Terrified. Jaguars? I'm scared of the neighbors Dachshund. I send my steak back if it isn't cooked right. No way i'm eating rat-ka-bobs. I whine if I step on a sand burr. I've seen the thorns. Naked and afraid? The thing I'm least scared of is being naked.
I am fascinated by the strength of will these people have. The survival skills. The toughness. The fearlessness.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I thought about the things I'm afraid of. Then the verse above came to mind. There are things I'm afraid of. Obviously I'm not going to audition for Naked and Afraid. Because I don't want to be one, and I already am the second. But I don't need to be afraid of anything.
I've been singing this old hymn in my mind all evening.
How Firm A Foundation
How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said—
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
“Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
“The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”
I'm going to keep these words close to me, and "fear not".
Sunday, April 16, 2017
He is Alive
A comment of facebook directed me back to my blog today. A friend of mine commented on this post
As I read it, I am still amazed at the power of God. And I'm frustrated with myself at how little I rely on the strength that I have as a child of God.
I intend to dust my blog off and begin sharing more regularly. I enjoy browsing through all the things I've shared. And since I don't journal, this is my way of holding tight the things that are worth saving.
As I read it, I am still amazed at the power of God. And I'm frustrated with myself at how little I rely on the strength that I have as a child of God.
I intend to dust my blog off and begin sharing more regularly. I enjoy browsing through all the things I've shared. And since I don't journal, this is my way of holding tight the things that are worth saving.
Saturday, July 9, 2016
Wormwood, or one of his pals
C.S. Lewis authored "The Screwtape Letters".
It is written in a satirical, epistolary style and while it is fictional in format, the plot and characters are used to address Christian theological issues, primarily those to do with temptation and resistance to it. First published in February 1942,[1] the story takes the form of a series of letters from a senior Demon Screwtape to his nephew Wormwood, a Junior Tempter. The uncle's mentorship pertains to the nephew's responsibility in securing the damnation of a British man known only as "the Patient". (from Wikipedia)
I love this book. I know that Satan is not omnipresent, so there are demons dispatched to do his dirty work. And they are good. I have been feeling under attack recently. You know how it is, you step out to do something new for God. It may not even be big by most people's standards, but it stretches you. And because it stretches you, it brings you closer to Christ and Satan doesn't like that, so enter your own personal demon.
It's an election year, for crying out loud, how can I be important enough to be under attack? Yet, I feel that I am. And my very own "Wormwood" knows the things to whisper in my ear. He knows how to get in my head. He knows what I struggle with. He knows my fears and insecurities and he really works them.
Since I know this, you would think it would remove his power over me. And most of the time, I am pretty strong. Except for when I'm not.
I hold onto my Scriptures that tell me I'm strong, Colossians 1:11 "God will strengthen you with his own great power so you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient"; and a lifetime favorite, Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (on the back of my work out shirt it references this Scripture and says "tell me I can't".
As "Wormwood" continues to whisper that I'm not good enough to serve God in any area, because I'm a loser. Seriously, he uses that word for me. Whispers I'm too old and not sexy enough for my husband. Tells me I'm weak and not smart enough or talented enough or funny enough, or wise enough, and that I talk too much and I talk before thinking. And this is not something I live with, just brief moments here and there where he sneaks it in. I choose not to listen, not to believe.
I am a child of God. Beautiful, precious, worthy. And that is enough for me.
It is written in a satirical, epistolary style and while it is fictional in format, the plot and characters are used to address Christian theological issues, primarily those to do with temptation and resistance to it. First published in February 1942,[1] the story takes the form of a series of letters from a senior Demon Screwtape to his nephew Wormwood, a Junior Tempter. The uncle's mentorship pertains to the nephew's responsibility in securing the damnation of a British man known only as "the Patient". (from Wikipedia)
I love this book. I know that Satan is not omnipresent, so there are demons dispatched to do his dirty work. And they are good. I have been feeling under attack recently. You know how it is, you step out to do something new for God. It may not even be big by most people's standards, but it stretches you. And because it stretches you, it brings you closer to Christ and Satan doesn't like that, so enter your own personal demon.
It's an election year, for crying out loud, how can I be important enough to be under attack? Yet, I feel that I am. And my very own "Wormwood" knows the things to whisper in my ear. He knows how to get in my head. He knows what I struggle with. He knows my fears and insecurities and he really works them.
Since I know this, you would think it would remove his power over me. And most of the time, I am pretty strong. Except for when I'm not.
I hold onto my Scriptures that tell me I'm strong, Colossians 1:11 "God will strengthen you with his own great power so you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient"; and a lifetime favorite, Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (on the back of my work out shirt it references this Scripture and says "tell me I can't".
As "Wormwood" continues to whisper that I'm not good enough to serve God in any area, because I'm a loser. Seriously, he uses that word for me. Whispers I'm too old and not sexy enough for my husband. Tells me I'm weak and not smart enough or talented enough or funny enough, or wise enough, and that I talk too much and I talk before thinking. And this is not something I live with, just brief moments here and there where he sneaks it in. I choose not to listen, not to believe.
I am a child of God. Beautiful, precious, worthy. And that is enough for me.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
24 years ago
I've been missing writing. What better day to get back to it than a day that is special to me?
My man child turns 24 today. I love him. I miss him. He moved to Lawrence, Kansas earlier this year.
He is not the man I raised, not on the path I chose for him. He is better. He is his own man, and he is a good man, and in his words, "I like myself, Mom. You should be proud of that."
And I am proud of him.
Seeing him as a self sufficient, productive, happy adult makes me feel like I've accomplished something worth celebrating. So tomorrow, (Friday) we are going to Lawrence to celebrate him, his birthday with him and his girlfriend. I may have went overboard, it looks a little like Christmas, the amount of presents. (They are wrapped in the family tradition of Calvin & Hobbs cartoons.)
My man child turns 24 today. I love him. I miss him. He moved to Lawrence, Kansas earlier this year.
He is not the man I raised, not on the path I chose for him. He is better. He is his own man, and he is a good man, and in his words, "I like myself, Mom. You should be proud of that."
And I am proud of him.
Seeing him as a self sufficient, productive, happy adult makes me feel like I've accomplished something worth celebrating. So tomorrow, (Friday) we are going to Lawrence to celebrate him, his birthday with him and his girlfriend. I may have went overboard, it looks a little like Christmas, the amount of presents. (They are wrapped in the family tradition of Calvin & Hobbs cartoons.)
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Give no opportunity to the devil
This is from the passage Ephesians 4:27
How many times do I give him opportunity? How many times do I open the door wide and say "come on in?"
More than I want, but less than I used to.
When I think about it in the above context, giving him opportunity, I'm ashamed. He has no power over me, I'm a child of God. I'm forgiven, redeemed and beautiful in God's eyes. However, I am a work in progress. Because of this I need to make sure that I am not giving him opportunity.
Depression, dissatisfaction, gossip, slander, apathy, gluttony, greed, all are giving opportunity to the devil. Opening a door and letting him in.
Say only that which is good for building up. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be PUT AWAY, with all malice (even if they deserve it, lol).
Be
KIND
Tenderhearted
Forgiving
As God in Christ Jesus forgave you.
Shut the door, keep out the devil, as the old spiritual says.
How many times do I give him opportunity? How many times do I open the door wide and say "come on in?"
More than I want, but less than I used to.
When I think about it in the above context, giving him opportunity, I'm ashamed. He has no power over me, I'm a child of God. I'm forgiven, redeemed and beautiful in God's eyes. However, I am a work in progress. Because of this I need to make sure that I am not giving him opportunity.
Depression, dissatisfaction, gossip, slander, apathy, gluttony, greed, all are giving opportunity to the devil. Opening a door and letting him in.
Say only that which is good for building up. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be PUT AWAY, with all malice (even if they deserve it, lol).
Be
KIND
Tenderhearted
Forgiving
As God in Christ Jesus forgave you.
Shut the door, keep out the devil, as the old spiritual says.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
The Death Grip
I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
Last week Steve and I went to Cancun to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary (a month late).
In this one week in Cancun, I faced several of my fears.
Leaving the country
fear I won't get back in (have you seen Locked Up Abroad?)
different foods as I have an iffy stomach a lot of the time
exchange rates
no diet coke (really happened, Mexico has Coca Cola Light, not the same thing)
Zip lining
Parasailing
ATV's through the jungle
Waverunners on the ocean
holding a parrot (I didn't know I was afraid of parrots, but yep, birds, check)
Wednesday evening eating dinner I had a revelation. I was scared of everything. EVERYTHING!
I had a death grip on the handle bars of the ATV. The harness of the superman zip line. The harness of the bungee swing. The body in front of me on the waverunner. The seat rail of the parasail. I had fun, but I couldn't let go.
It spoke to me. I want to control everything. I want to see the future. I want both feet on the ground. So I released even more. This may sound small, but I let Steve take a picture of me in my swimsuit in the ocean (yes, I went in) and then I let him put it on facebook. The areas I need to let go of are more important than a zip line or picture in a swimsuit.
I need to surrender some old hurt relationships to Christ, and let go of the hurt.
I need to surrender ALL of my finances to Christ. Not just the first 10% and then additional giving here and there (when I have it), but all. I'll tell a story on myself I'm not proud of. I got a bonus here a while back. Steve got a bonus from the gym. My 10% was almost triple what a normal week would've been. I struggled writing that big check. Steve was running the camera, so I couldn't have him make me do it, because he would've with no trouble. I had to do it. I wrote the big check, then I wrote a smaller regular check. Then I felt so guilty and untrusting and wretched that I got the big check out and asked forgiveness as I dropped it in the offering.
I need to surrender the fear of losing my dad. In the last two months he has had surgery for colon cancer and quintuple bypass. He survived, and we know it's only because God wasn't ready to take him yet.
I need to surrender the fear of my kids not living for God like I want them to.
Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Last week Steve and I went to Cancun to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary (a month late).
In this one week in Cancun, I faced several of my fears.
Leaving the country
fear I won't get back in (have you seen Locked Up Abroad?)
different foods as I have an iffy stomach a lot of the time
exchange rates
no diet coke (really happened, Mexico has Coca Cola Light, not the same thing)
Zip lining
Parasailing
ATV's through the jungle
Waverunners on the ocean
holding a parrot (I didn't know I was afraid of parrots, but yep, birds, check)
Wednesday evening eating dinner I had a revelation. I was scared of everything. EVERYTHING!
I had a death grip on the handle bars of the ATV. The harness of the superman zip line. The harness of the bungee swing. The body in front of me on the waverunner. The seat rail of the parasail. I had fun, but I couldn't let go.
It spoke to me. I want to control everything. I want to see the future. I want both feet on the ground. So I released even more. This may sound small, but I let Steve take a picture of me in my swimsuit in the ocean (yes, I went in) and then I let him put it on facebook. The areas I need to let go of are more important than a zip line or picture in a swimsuit.
I need to surrender some old hurt relationships to Christ, and let go of the hurt.
I need to surrender ALL of my finances to Christ. Not just the first 10% and then additional giving here and there (when I have it), but all. I'll tell a story on myself I'm not proud of. I got a bonus here a while back. Steve got a bonus from the gym. My 10% was almost triple what a normal week would've been. I struggled writing that big check. Steve was running the camera, so I couldn't have him make me do it, because he would've with no trouble. I had to do it. I wrote the big check, then I wrote a smaller regular check. Then I felt so guilty and untrusting and wretched that I got the big check out and asked forgiveness as I dropped it in the offering.
I need to surrender the fear of losing my dad. In the last two months he has had surgery for colon cancer and quintuple bypass. He survived, and we know it's only because God wasn't ready to take him yet.
I need to surrender the fear of my kids not living for God like I want them to.
Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Fight for it
Did you ever want something you had to fight for? Maybe not a physical boxing match, but that you really had to work to get?
Against opposition, against the flow, against popular opinion, against what was easy, against what was less painful?
And when you earn it, it's so sweet.
I have found myself there in the past, and was reminded of that this week.
It's worth fighting for what you believe in. For what you want. For what is good for you.
My marriage. My family. My belief in Jesus.
It doesn't have to be on a big stage, it can be a private, personal fight. It can be small, just a few friends know. But compromise? Give up? Not an option.
I'm going to go down fighting.
Here's to going after dreams, fighting for what you believe in, and living life, going hard after Jesus.
Against opposition, against the flow, against popular opinion, against what was easy, against what was less painful?
And when you earn it, it's so sweet.
I have found myself there in the past, and was reminded of that this week.
It's worth fighting for what you believe in. For what you want. For what is good for you.
My marriage. My family. My belief in Jesus.
It doesn't have to be on a big stage, it can be a private, personal fight. It can be small, just a few friends know. But compromise? Give up? Not an option.
I'm going to go down fighting.
Here's to going after dreams, fighting for what you believe in, and living life, going hard after Jesus.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Because he loves me
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Because he loves me.
I'm talking about Jesus. I love him, more and more the older I get, the more I try to know him, the more I find I love him. The more I want to do for him. I'm not qualified or capable to do big things. I don't have a big platform. I'm happy in my anonymity, doing the things I can for those around me. It's surprising when you open your eyes and your heart what you can find to do for others.
I was talking to Steve on the way home from church this morning and I said that I was surprised by myself because I never thought I would be astute enough to recognize when a child needed a hug versus a child that wanted a hug because I hugged another child. That one child needed me to say hi and acknowledge I see him is the same for him as the one that needed three hugs. (I love my Awana Sparkies, I sure get a lot of hugs these days).
A hug doesn't cost me anything. A smile, a high five, a hello. All are free and limitless.
Encouragement is free, and I happen to be friends with someone who gets that, and does it so well. Not just for me, I watch her encourage others and it really is a gift she has. I am working on being more encouraging to others.
So many things/actions/gifts I have to give. And because he loves me, I want to share his love.
I'm talking about Jesus. I love him, more and more the older I get, the more I try to know him, the more I find I love him. The more I want to do for him. I'm not qualified or capable to do big things. I don't have a big platform. I'm happy in my anonymity, doing the things I can for those around me. It's surprising when you open your eyes and your heart what you can find to do for others.
I was talking to Steve on the way home from church this morning and I said that I was surprised by myself because I never thought I would be astute enough to recognize when a child needed a hug versus a child that wanted a hug because I hugged another child. That one child needed me to say hi and acknowledge I see him is the same for him as the one that needed three hugs. (I love my Awana Sparkies, I sure get a lot of hugs these days).
A hug doesn't cost me anything. A smile, a high five, a hello. All are free and limitless.
Encouragement is free, and I happen to be friends with someone who gets that, and does it so well. Not just for me, I watch her encourage others and it really is a gift she has. I am working on being more encouraging to others.
So many things/actions/gifts I have to give. And because he loves me, I want to share his love.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
For Bella
Last weekend Steve and I went to Memphis. I have a good friend that lives there, and I got to visit with her for several days. Steve came up for the weekend and ran the St. Jude Childrens Hospital Marathon. We're going back next year so I can run. If I can get my knee well enough to run. Certainly going to give it my best effort.
We took the medal and the bib and put it in a shadow box and gave it to her, along with the goodie string bag and a hoodie I got at the expo. There is something about knowing and loving a patient at the hospital that made this hit closer to home. If you think about it, would you pray for Bella? She is currently undergoing Chemo.
We took the medal and the bib and put it in a shadow box and gave it to her, along with the goodie string bag and a hoodie I got at the expo. There is something about knowing and loving a patient at the hospital that made this hit closer to home. If you think about it, would you pray for Bella? She is currently undergoing Chemo.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
He came for me
As Christmas gets closer, I am surrounded by all the things of the season. Christmas programs, Christmas parties, Christmas sermons at church. I am enjoying it more this year than I have in many years.
I don't have any "have tos". I get to participate in what I want to participate in, and I find myself being more involved and loving it. Funny how that works, when I get to decide exactly what I want to do, no one making me or following other's expectations, I do more.
Today, I'm reminded that Jesus came for me. I could say Jesus came for you, or Jesus came for us, and both would be true. But today I need to believe Jesus came for me. ME. How powerful and special that is, that I am enough for Jesus. That he came for me. Broken, imperfect, flawed, and yet, he loves me. Enough to become human and come to earth. Enough to leave a perfect, sinless home, for me.
When I think about heaven and what he left for me, I think of a place with no pain. And that takes on new meaning when you live with chronic pain. Mine is minor, it's my knee. After knee surgery I have chronic pain. Not constant, but at some point every day, I will feel pain in my knee. I can't imagine how people with real issues deal.
And sinless, wow. What would it be like to live without guilt? Shame? Some day, I'll know. I'm looking forward to that. But until then, I love the idea that he came for me.
I don't have any "have tos". I get to participate in what I want to participate in, and I find myself being more involved and loving it. Funny how that works, when I get to decide exactly what I want to do, no one making me or following other's expectations, I do more.
Today, I'm reminded that Jesus came for me. I could say Jesus came for you, or Jesus came for us, and both would be true. But today I need to believe Jesus came for me. ME. How powerful and special that is, that I am enough for Jesus. That he came for me. Broken, imperfect, flawed, and yet, he loves me. Enough to become human and come to earth. Enough to leave a perfect, sinless home, for me.
When I think about heaven and what he left for me, I think of a place with no pain. And that takes on new meaning when you live with chronic pain. Mine is minor, it's my knee. After knee surgery I have chronic pain. Not constant, but at some point every day, I will feel pain in my knee. I can't imagine how people with real issues deal.
And sinless, wow. What would it be like to live without guilt? Shame? Some day, I'll know. I'm looking forward to that. But until then, I love the idea that he came for me.
Monday, December 7, 2015
That's life
Today I got to work at 7:03 a.m. At 7:05 I was in my bosses office. I took Thursday and Friday off and while I was away from work one of my projects blew up. It was a booger of a day.
I went to the gym, because I really need to work out.I've been very disciplined with food, so I need to make sure I get my work outs in. I didn't take my rings off, and bruised my finger under my ring lifting a dumbbell.
I came home and put soup in the chicken tortilla soup in the crock pot and now my hands smell like onions.
My favorite player got voted off of Survivor.
And I sit here and think of how good my life is. How good God is. How good he has been to me. Even on a day when I'm tired, things don't really go my way, I have much to be thankful for.
As I head off to bed, I know I'm going to need to spend some time in prayer tomorrow, because I need God's hand. Whether he fixes the issue or calms me, I'm going to need him.
I am going to be intentional for the next 3 weeks to remember to celebrate this time of year. To not get caught up in busyness. To enjoy the music, all the Christmas trimmings, and reflect on the reason we celebrate.
I went to the gym, because I really need to work out.I've been very disciplined with food, so I need to make sure I get my work outs in. I didn't take my rings off, and bruised my finger under my ring lifting a dumbbell.
I came home and put soup in the chicken tortilla soup in the crock pot and now my hands smell like onions.
My favorite player got voted off of Survivor.
And I sit here and think of how good my life is. How good God is. How good he has been to me. Even on a day when I'm tired, things don't really go my way, I have much to be thankful for.
As I head off to bed, I know I'm going to need to spend some time in prayer tomorrow, because I need God's hand. Whether he fixes the issue or calms me, I'm going to need him.
I am going to be intentional for the next 3 weeks to remember to celebrate this time of year. To not get caught up in busyness. To enjoy the music, all the Christmas trimmings, and reflect on the reason we celebrate.
Friday, December 4, 2015
A new chapter in life - part 2
This one, this woman child of man that is all light and laughter and fun. Gifted with wit and charm and a beautiful smile. The ability to laugh at herself, to find humor in most everything. Thoughtful and kind and good. Mouthy and sarcastic and strong willed. Opinionated and stubborn.
Whitney & Polo, Thanksgiving 2015
Whitney has let me know of her plans to move out by summer 2016. I get it, it's time, she's almost 20. It still pulls at momma's heart, but she's ready. And I think I am too.
Steve and I have a lot of life left in us, and it we are looking forward to all that the future holds.
Whitney & Polo, Thanksgiving 2015
Whitney has let me know of her plans to move out by summer 2016. I get it, it's time, she's almost 20. It still pulls at momma's heart, but she's ready. And I think I am too.
Steve and I have a lot of life left in us, and it we are looking forward to all that the future holds.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
A new chapter in life
I'm not there yet, not an empty nester, but I'm so close.
Two and a half weeks ago, Nate scheduled and appointment with me for coffee. And to talk. Some things that he had in his life were finally all worked out, and he has some freedom he didn't have previously.
He told me that he wasn't officially engaged, but he and his girl Lily, are going to get married, and he wants to be where she is so he will be getting an apartment in the town she goes to school and moving there after the first of the year. He will finish up college there as well. His credits from Juco will all transfer, it's in state, so he's in a good place.
I watched him move away once before, and it tore my heart out. This time, I'm excited for him. All that life holds. He is a strong courageous good man. So far from perfect, but willing to own his flaws, his mistakes, and work hard to make them right. I've watched him for the last two and half years do the hard things, and I'm one proud momma. I'm still really gonna miss him.
Nate & Lily, Thanksgiving 2015
Two and a half weeks ago, Nate scheduled and appointment with me for coffee. And to talk. Some things that he had in his life were finally all worked out, and he has some freedom he didn't have previously.
He told me that he wasn't officially engaged, but he and his girl Lily, are going to get married, and he wants to be where she is so he will be getting an apartment in the town she goes to school and moving there after the first of the year. He will finish up college there as well. His credits from Juco will all transfer, it's in state, so he's in a good place.
I watched him move away once before, and it tore my heart out. This time, I'm excited for him. All that life holds. He is a strong courageous good man. So far from perfect, but willing to own his flaws, his mistakes, and work hard to make them right. I've watched him for the last two and half years do the hard things, and I'm one proud momma. I'm still really gonna miss him.
Nate & Lily, Thanksgiving 2015
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Do not dwell on the past
Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
I have made a conscious decision to not dwell on the past. There is just so much of it. When I dwell on it, continue to be in it, I can't fully embrace what God has for me now. I'm not living in my present, working for my future, enjoying life right where I am.
This includes Spiritual matters, physical abilities, and relationships.
I'm being intentional about it. When negativity springs up about past, I give it right over to God. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
I have had to stop multiple times beating myself up because in the 6 months before knee surgery in 2012 and the year after, I couldn't exercise like I used to. Even now, I'm limited. I can't run like I used to. But I sure can eat like I always did. I have not been kind to myself. As I struggle to get back in shape and learn to eat entirely different, I continue to remind myself that was the past. I am not there now, never will be again, so figure out to be better today. What will work, what won't, and embrace the new thing that God is doing.
I have two very close familial relationships that were brought to the edge of destruction in 2011. Two of the three people I love most in this world.
They have been mended everywhere but in my head. Satan uses one of them over and over to keep me down. This last month was rough, again, 4.5 years later. I got with God on what was still holding up my healing, and followed his lead. I know what to do. Doing it however, is another story.
The future is not without it's difficulty, it's not without it's challenges, and that's with what I can see on the horizon.
One thing from the past I WILL NOT be letting go of, is the memory of God's faithfulness. The deep waters. The impenetrable darkness. The deliverance. The answered prayers. I intend to keep these as close as possible to me.
I have made a conscious decision to not dwell on the past. There is just so much of it. When I dwell on it, continue to be in it, I can't fully embrace what God has for me now. I'm not living in my present, working for my future, enjoying life right where I am.
This includes Spiritual matters, physical abilities, and relationships.
I'm being intentional about it. When negativity springs up about past, I give it right over to God. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
I have had to stop multiple times beating myself up because in the 6 months before knee surgery in 2012 and the year after, I couldn't exercise like I used to. Even now, I'm limited. I can't run like I used to. But I sure can eat like I always did. I have not been kind to myself. As I struggle to get back in shape and learn to eat entirely different, I continue to remind myself that was the past. I am not there now, never will be again, so figure out to be better today. What will work, what won't, and embrace the new thing that God is doing.
I have two very close familial relationships that were brought to the edge of destruction in 2011. Two of the three people I love most in this world.
They have been mended everywhere but in my head. Satan uses one of them over and over to keep me down. This last month was rough, again, 4.5 years later. I got with God on what was still holding up my healing, and followed his lead. I know what to do. Doing it however, is another story.
The future is not without it's difficulty, it's not without it's challenges, and that's with what I can see on the horizon.
One thing from the past I WILL NOT be letting go of, is the memory of God's faithfulness. The deep waters. The impenetrable darkness. The deliverance. The answered prayers. I intend to keep these as close as possible to me.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
I should count sheep
I can't sleep. This is why.
Did I blow the candles out?
There's supposed to be severe weather this weekend.
OMG, did I pay the house insurance?
What date does Nate's rental textbook have to be returned by to avoid being charged for it?
Where is the text book?
What was that noise, is Belle running wild at night through the house?
Nate's up. Crap, he will have eaten everything in the house by tomorrow morning.
What did Steve say I forgot at the grocery store? What was it...oh yes, toothpaste. I have extra. We'll get by.
Did I move the clothes from the washer to the dryer?
I ordered Belle a new collar over a month ago. Wonder why it hasn't come in yet. It's only $8.00, but it does have her name and phone number on it.
What do I get Amelia for graduation?
Did I pay the insurance?
Dang, why don't these Ibuprofen PM take effect faster? Is that effect or affect?
Did I blow the candles out?
There's supposed to be severe weather this weekend.
OMG, did I pay the house insurance?
What date does Nate's rental textbook have to be returned by to avoid being charged for it?
Where is the text book?
What was that noise, is Belle running wild at night through the house?
Nate's up. Crap, he will have eaten everything in the house by tomorrow morning.
What did Steve say I forgot at the grocery store? What was it...oh yes, toothpaste. I have extra. We'll get by.
Did I move the clothes from the washer to the dryer?
I ordered Belle a new collar over a month ago. Wonder why it hasn't come in yet. It's only $8.00, but it does have her name and phone number on it.
What do I get Amelia for graduation?
Did I pay the insurance?
Dang, why don't these Ibuprofen PM take effect faster? Is that effect or affect?
Thursday, May 14, 2015
You are not a quitter
I had a tough couple days this week. Low energy, lack of sleep. It impacted my working out.
I was at the gym yesterday, and per my request, Marquis has been giving me speedwork to do. He had me get on a treadmill and walk at an incline carrying weights.
This is tough, but definitely doable. 5 minutes. And 2 minutes in I began saying to myself, "you are not a quitter. You are not a quitter. YOU. ARE. NOT. A. QUITTER!. You do the hard stuff. Don't quit. You are not a quitter."
I said this over and over and over to myself, for 3 minutes. I didn't realize I passed the 5 minute mark until Marquis came over and turned off the treadmill and took my weights from me.
Today, I realized that is so much like Jesus. We have a tough road in front. Uphill, carrying a heavy load. And we have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just telling ourself to keep pushing on. Saying, "you are not a quitter", and believing it. And then, Jesus takes the load, levels the path, and and says, "good job, Pats".
Usually I work out with Sheila and Steve close, Marquis is close, but Sheila wasn't there and Steve and I both at that point were doing a solo workout. Usually I have a lot of encouragement. But that long 5 minutes, I was all by myself, or so it felt. And it was a good reminder that even when I feel alone, I'm not.
I was at the gym yesterday, and per my request, Marquis has been giving me speedwork to do. He had me get on a treadmill and walk at an incline carrying weights.
This is tough, but definitely doable. 5 minutes. And 2 minutes in I began saying to myself, "you are not a quitter. You are not a quitter. YOU. ARE. NOT. A. QUITTER!. You do the hard stuff. Don't quit. You are not a quitter."
I said this over and over and over to myself, for 3 minutes. I didn't realize I passed the 5 minute mark until Marquis came over and turned off the treadmill and took my weights from me.
Today, I realized that is so much like Jesus. We have a tough road in front. Uphill, carrying a heavy load. And we have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just telling ourself to keep pushing on. Saying, "you are not a quitter", and believing it. And then, Jesus takes the load, levels the path, and and says, "good job, Pats".
Usually I work out with Sheila and Steve close, Marquis is close, but Sheila wasn't there and Steve and I both at that point were doing a solo workout. Usually I have a lot of encouragement. But that long 5 minutes, I was all by myself, or so it felt. And it was a good reminder that even when I feel alone, I'm not.
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