Created for him

At church this morning pastor read the scripture passage Colossians 1:15-17 (verse 11 is still one of my favorites). It stuck out to me that I am created for God. For his glory. I tend to get this turned around and think he's for me. The last couple weeks sermons have hit that point hard.

He has authority over all. He has total control. I'll be thinking about this often this week. Took notes. Gonna leave them out to remind me.

It's for him.

Does that make me crazy?

I walk out onto the shop floor, another 30 yards or so to use the ladies room at work. Not for the additional steps or time away from my stressful desk.

The ladies room on the shop floor has a full length mirror. The office one doesn't. My fear of walking out with my skirt tucked up rivals my fear of snakes.

The Way I see it

really people, READ SHAKESPEARE

I read this to Steve, he said "what is that, the purge diet?"

No such thing as insignificant day. I dress up for me.

in my corner

Dinner at Texas Roadhouse with Steve, Whitney and Denae.

Wings Soccer game with Steve and Whitney.

Great service at church with a sermon about the cross being the center of everything.

Pedicures with Whitney.

Housework, laundry and grocery shopping.

Stressful week at work, but lately they all are.

3 intense hours of working out with Marquis.

Yep. Normal run of the mill, maybe even a tad boring. And sometimes that's really nice.

#winning

I read this quote "I hate losing more than I love winning". That pretty much sums up the way I feel.

Winning is generally who is the best. Losing you are the worst.

Winning you get the prize. Losing you get nothing.

For me though, winning can simply be finishing what you start. Being better today than I was yesterday.

Losing is giving up. Quitting. Not trying.

The prize is what I decide it is.

It's not a comparison to someone else's life. I don't care if you have nicer things or more stuff. I don't care if you are younger or even if you think you've beat me.

Win or lose, I decide. I'll work my tail off to not lose. But that definition of losing its determined by me.

Does that make me crazy

I think my salad tastes better if eaten from this bowl.

Our Father

I read the passage commonly referred to as the Lord's Prayer today. Matthew 6:5-13. I read it in the NLT first. I had an interesting thought from the way it was worded.

And forgive us the way we forgive others.

I read it a couple different versions and pretty sure God isn't saying "I'll forgive you the way you forgive others". But what if He did?

I tend to forgive easily, being a pretty good screw up and needing a lot of forgiveness myself. But it was a good reminder.


I hope I remember this. I hope I let bygones be bygones. That's what I want for me. From God and everyone else.

measure me

Yep, beating this dog again. Pinterest.

Holy cow do people really have this perfect of lives? Do their desserts always turn out perfect? All their projects works of art?

I wanted a pattern and the link took me to pinterest and then to the blog. I spent an hour trying to make an "easy 30 minute" project and I haven't given up completely, but I did put it away until my sister could explain it, which she did and also offered to just make it for me.

I understand how helpful it is and how much people love it. But dang, the pressure to dress your child like a mini-Audrey Hepburn has to be intense for mothers of toddlers. Whitney wore leggings and tee shirts. We had some pretty awesome pictures made, or 12 years ago they were pretty awesome.

Then I was overwhelmed by the number of grown women that took pictures of their Christmas presents from their husband to share on facebook with the "I'm so spoiled" or "I'm so lucky", or "I'm so loved".

Social media is great. Wonderful way to keep in touch. Why does it bother me so much? I don't have a pinterest account for the reason of it makes me want stuff. It points out where my desserts aren't picture perfect. And I was always happy with my sugar cookies and cake balls before, so I'm going to stay that way. I don't need to see that other people turn their deviled eggs into chickees for Easter. Making deviled eggs is enough work for me without adding eyes and beaks to them.

In our world of competition and keeping up with or being better than everyone else, it's hard not to get swept up into the need to convince everyone how great your life, kids, spouse, marriage, job, world is.

For those of you that can use pinterest without it mocking you, making you materialistic and feeling like your cookies are ugly, good for you. I mean that. Is there anyone else like me that can't take the pressure?

I've had a good holiday season. I've had wonderful relaxing holiday break. I got presents and I loved them all. I'm not spoiled, I'm not lucky, but I am loved. With my attitude, mouth, laugh lines, diet coke habit (seriously, two large ones during The Hobbit), and serving my family leftovers for dinner often, I'm still loved. I'm not treated like a princess, I can't say I've never been hurt by those who love me. That's just life. It's beautifully painfully imperfect.

So if you are feeling the pinterest/facebook/twitter pressure of keeping up with the other moms of kids your age, STOP IT! Don't worry about the artfully arranged perfectly matched awesomely accessorized outfits on pinterest, wear what you like that looks good on you and own it. If you look weird, just tell them you are "eclectic". Works for me. But I'm betting you are beautiful when you are most you.

And God has given you the right kids for you. Store bought cupcakes for school birthday parties won't leave a scar. Recycle last year's halloween costumes. And please know that pizza rolls can be dinner.

If you need to hear that you are okay and normal and doing just fine, let me know. I'll tell you.

Or we can be weird together.


Bonus...blurry picture from Friday's workout.

the way I see it

yep, prove your love. PROVE IT!

This is all it takes for peace? Don't eat meat?

Totally gonna haveta disagree. I also remember some pretty spectacular naps.

Two thumbs up

I didn't make resolutions this year. I didn't look back at 2012 and note my favorite and most memorable occasions.

I also never made a list of things I have to be thankful for.

Over the weekend though, I had time to think about all of this because...

I cleaned out my hutch. Found lots of interesting things, but mostly one, I found an old journal from a painful part of my life. I thought about throwing it away once I realized what it was, but instead I opened it and spent an hour reading my thoughts, prayers, and scriptures from 6 of the most awful weeks I have endured.

It was unsettling, but I realized I have been healed.

To put it in perspective, the minor surgery I had on my knee that required 5 stitches the same day I thought my world had been irrevocably shattered is healed, it's whole. There is still a scar. But you have to know it's there to see it. That's my heart. Completely healed, so close to whole you can't tell I'm not.

So in looking back at the year, lots of good things happened. I would give 2012 two thumbs up. I've been so blessed. Given so much.


As far as resolutions, I am making one. When and where I need to make changes, I will do it. Immediately. I will not wait till New Year's Day, Monday, or even tomorrow. When I see something I need to change, I will change it that moment. That's it.

I believe

I believe...

in pink boxing gloves

in red lipstick

in dressing up because you like to



I believe...

I can go farther

I can be stronger

I can do anything I set my mind to


I believe...

in singing at the top of your lungs

in nooners

in the healing power of laughter


I believe...

in giving more

doing more

being more


I believe...

love isn't measured by PDA

pictures of kisses on facebook

other peoples perception of your relationship


I believe...

sometimes I am wrong

I'm not the smartest person in the world (heck, not even the room, most of the time)

I am never too old to learn something new


I believe...

Jesus loves me

Jesus heals me

Jesus is coming back for me

Conversations with Whitney

We went and saw the Hobbit over the Christmas break. Nate and Whitney are HUUUUGE fans of the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit just falls right in with that. Nate of course, has read the books. ***

I picked up my grocery list of must haves the day after we went to the movie and Whitney had added number 8.

I brought home this...

I had to look up the letters, but Nate had no trouble reading it, he informed he is fluent in elven.


***Christmas night we always go to a movie. As does most of the world who doesn't have 47 family celebrations to attend. We saw Les Miserables. It was a good movie. In the car on the way home Nate says "I didn't know it was a musical. I've read the book, and it was a really great book, it just was weird when they were pulling in the boat and started singing". Gotta love a kid that always says "I've read the book" and books are what he asks for for birthday and Christmas.

Does that make me crazy?

I almost always need help to work one of these.

just another day

January 1, 2013. First day of January, first day of 2013. And I found myself thinking while I did laundry and loaded the dishwasher and took down Christmas decorations that it's just another day. I woke up this morning and it was like any other day.

I have seen more Jenny Craig/Nutrisystem/Weight Watchers commercials in two days. Add the Slimquick pills, Sensa, and all the personal sales of weight loss supplements from friends on facebook and I'm already overwhelmed.

I know the gym is going to be crazy busy for the next couple months.

It's like this every year. Some stick it out, some don't.

I hope that where real change is needed it gets made.

Happy New Year, or Happy today, however you look at it, it's a new day.

Lamentations 3:22-23 "The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."

So thankful I don't have to wait for a New Year for a New Mercy from the Lord.