Does that make me crazy?

I walk out onto the shop floor, another 30 yards or so to use the ladies room at work. Not for the additional steps or time away from my stressful desk.

The ladies room on the shop floor has a full length mirror. The office one doesn't. My fear of walking out with my skirt tucked up rivals my fear of snakes.

#winning

I read this quote "I hate losing more than I love winning". That pretty much sums up the way I feel.

Winning is generally who is the best. Losing you are the worst.

Winning you get the prize. Losing you get nothing.

For me though, winning can simply be finishing what you start. Being better today than I was yesterday.

Losing is giving up. Quitting. Not trying.

The prize is what I decide it is.

It's not a comparison to someone else's life. I don't care if you have nicer things or more stuff. I don't care if you are younger or even if you think you've beat me.

Win or lose, I decide. I'll work my tail off to not lose. But that definition of losing its determined by me.

Does that make me crazy

I think my salad tastes better if eaten from this bowl.

Does that make me crazy?

I almost always need help to work one of these.

does that make me crazy?

yes, this DOES make me crazy.

does that make me crazy?

i found a darling dress on the clearance rack at target because the size was mis-marked.

i paid $5.98 for the dress.

then i paid $12.00 for tights to wear with it.

does that make me crazy?

i made a chocolate sheet cake for my girls birthday this weekend. there was too much of it left so i wrapped it up in some rubbermaid and left it on sheila's porch.

the crazy part?

i would give away 6 pieces of cake because i'm sure i could've eaten them all by myself. and whitney and steve would've known it was me. that's my problem with it. not that i can eat 6 pieces of cake. but that i don't want my family to know i could.

does that make me crazy

i was sitting in church sunday morning staring at the people the few rows in front of me and had this thought:

ears are weird

does that make me crazy?

my toe hurt after the marathon. for a week i wandered if i had a neuroma but the pain wasn’t right for that. (steve is an expert). I thought maybe one of the bones might be cracked, but it wasn’t that painful, i’ve had stress fractures. i could run and it was only a moderate annoyance. but doing pushups and planks was excruciating.

i looked at my foot carefully and had an infected splinter in the tip of my toe. it was red and inflamed and sore to the touch.

steve dug it out with a needle and tweezers and no more pain.

mountains out of molehills. (or stress fractures out of splinters…)

does that make me crazy?

i take salad for lunch 4 out of 5 days a week at work. healthy stuff. breakfast bar. fruit. yogurt.

but the other day of the week?

conversations with whitney

whitney: "kelsey and i are going to wear tutu's for the southeast game. it's pinkout night can you make me one?"

cue the internal silent celebration, i've been wanting to make her a tutu for years

me: "sure"

a trip to hancock fabric the next day, $17.00 and two hours, voila

whitney: "kelsey and i really wanted to match and she has a pink tutu, but really likes mine better. can you make one for her too?"


oh, be still my heart. this is like the year i got to make two little bo peep costumes for halloween for her and her second grade friend. (this should really be in the "does that make me crazy file, i'm so jazzed about another trip to hancock's and making another tutu and adding more ribbon bows at whitney's request.)

does that make me crazy?

ultra marathon training starts next week. i have a week between the marathon and this training that is unscripted.

i am so excited to start training next week!

i have 5 days of running, with hill and bleacher work

3 days of weights, an hour per day

2 days of cross fit, two different workouts, timed for intensity

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!

does that make me crazy?

i ate ranch dressing on my salad and felt like i was splurging...

does that make me crazy?

i get overwhelmed by the cereal aisle in the grocery store.

does that make me crazy?

I just registered for a 50 mile race in february.

the adventures of wander woman

lunar trek 22 mile run (25 mile in my case) friday, july 27, 2012, pike valley high school cross country team fund raiser

steve was running the 100k at the lunar trek so i figured i had plenty of time to run 22 miles. my training was not technically up for 22 miles, but that doesn't typically stop me. i figured i would easily finish before him, take a nap, and then drive us home.

for reference, in the last 3 months i haven't run further than 15 miles. so take your longest run and add 7 miles. now stay up for 17 hours, run all night and don't eat first. yeah, i dont' recommend it for you either.

steve's race started at 9:00, mine at 11:00. that's p.m.

so many things i should have thought about before i registered. being up for 17 hours before the race started without a nap. running on trails/dirt/gravel roads i'd never been on before. running said route illuminated only by a head lamp. my view was this, a circle of light about 10 feet in front of me and 5 feet wide.

i realized much later that my view would've been better by the moon and stars instead of the light. much to learn.

i added to the difficulty by eating dinner at 5:30 and then eating nothing else before and during the race.

all that said, i felt really good when we started. running well and everything felt good. i had just left the 5.5 mile aid station when i ran into steve, he was running the loop clockwise, i was running counterclockwise. he said his neuroma in his toe was hurting. bummer.

i still felt really good so i plugged along. and realized a couple miles later that my 24 oz bottle of water was not going to last me to the next aid station. i slowed down and started drinking less. with about two miles to the aid station i was out of water so i started walking. this added quite a bit of time to how long i would be on the course.

right before the 11 mile aid station steve texted me to say he had dropped after the first loop because his toe hurt. i understood (surgery is on the schedule for this winter). i wanted to finish my race. i continued on, uneventful until two miles from the 15.5 mile aid station was out of water again, so back to walking.

filled up and back on the road and still feeling really good, but unable to eat anything. my stomach felt okay until i picked up food and then immediate nausea.

blasted (okay, i felt like i blasted, but by this time it was a slow jog) through to the last aid stations, texted steve i was two miles out and turned like a horse toward the barn.

half mile from the finish i shifted into my finish line trot and then, in true wander woman fashion, missed the last sign (in my defense, signs were black arrows on white board about shin high in the ditch of the road. on the inside lane of the course. because 40 milers and 100k runners were coming back out i was being courteous and running the outside lane of the course) because we came in different than we went out, it wasn't terribly visible, there were two ways to go, one dead end sign and no moonlight. i chose poorly. when i had been running another mile and a half with no finish line, but came to a highway i was pretty sure i shouldn't be at, i called steve, lost. i was two miles from the finish.

i wanted to cry, and unlike baseball, there is crying in long distance running, but i didn't.

i also was a little disoriented at the time when i missed the turn. i saw a large combine parked off the side of the road. the combine was actually there, but i saw the wheels spinning and it was rolling out towards the street towards me. it wasn't moving, but the wheels were turning and i thought it was going to roll in front of me. i new this was just a hallucination, but it was still freaky.


i wanted a finish, so i turned in around, turned on my droid navigation system with the volume up loud and went back into race mode. i pushed that last two miles, hard. got to the turn, couldn't see the sign, but the navigation lady told me to turn so i did. even ran up the last hill full tilt.

i saw the finish line and...no steve. i was so disappointed already after a hard run, difficult run, being lost and running 3 miles further than planned, i could hardly stand it. but i finished and went to the car and collapsed into the lawn chair. i pulled a diet coke out of the cooler, because that's what i do post-race and took my shoes off. put on flip flops, talked to the race director, and found my post race sundress.

i finally went inside to change clothes and steve was sitting in the cafeteria with stuart. when i came in he looked at me with huge eyes, looked at the clock and said when did you get here. i told him i'd been back for 30 minutes. he told me my last text said i had 4 miles to go. stupid auto correct. put the decimal on the end of the word before to make it a sentence so it looked like i was 4 miles out, not .4 miles out. i couldn't look at him because at this point, all the disappointment, pain, frustration, anger, pain, tiredness, hunger and pain would have poured out of my eyes. it was my fault, i didn't read my text well enough before i hit send. darn combine.

we drove home this morning, i couldn't keep my eyes open. shower, nap, grocery shopping, laundry, pick up whitney,

and steve asks why i'm limping, i only ran 25 miles...


if i get a copy of the picture gary took at mile 18 i'll share it. simply so you can see me with a headlamp, reflective vest, and how dirty and sweaty i was.

does that make me crazy?

in my quest to find something i'm better at than steve while we are working out, i finally did.

we had to do "a" skips and "b" skips yesterday. think little girl skipping with high knees, and then add a kick out with your foot.



I CAN SKIP BETTER AND EVEN AS FAST AS STEVE. heeheeheee

of course sprinting with marquis pulling on me was killer...

i told steve not to take a picture of me doing it. somethings are better not recorded for posterity.

does that make me crazy?

i fixed a snack the other night. apple slices with peanut butter (measured the peanut butter, cause it's easy to overdo). added some home toasted oats because granola has too many calories. then dipped the apple slice with peanut butter and oats in chocolate chips, too.

does that make me crazy?

july 5, went looking for a diet coke. 2 machines in my building are sold out. building to the north, 2 machines sold out, cafeteria closed. building to the south, sold out, cafeteria open…score!


i walked 1.25 miles for one 20 oz. diet coke.

could’ve gotten it faster and easier by getting in my car and driving to quicktrip.

i had one in the refrigerator 10 yards from my desk the whole time.

bite me

do you know anyone that if something awkward can happen to them, it will?  yes, you do.  me.

tuesday night i was sitting on the front porch having a melt down.  i try to do that at least once a month.  a spot on my hip was itching.  had been all day, but it seemed worse. i can't remember if it was itching monday night or not, i was so stinking tired after flying home. 

after working out i took a shower and the hot water made my whole backside itch.  so i scratched.

it continued to get worse.  i thought about the evening i sat in the dirt at an aid station in track shorts, that maybe i sat on something, but i would have felt chiggars right away or fire ants or whatever.

finally figured out...

bedbugs. 

not from the hotel, steve and i slept in the same bed for four nights and i was the only one with bites, and they were all in my panty line on the backs of my legs. 

i ended up with prednisone for the inflammation and itching and antibiotics for the infection.

interestingly, steve and i didn't fly together on one leg of the flight, from rapid city to minneapolis on the way home.  and we never sat together on the planes.  so pretty sure they are from the airplane. 

you do not want to experience bedbugs.  ever.

this almost did make me crazy.