the adventures of wander woman

I went to Huntsville, Texas. Was supposed to be my fifty mile run but the blasted plantar fasciitis still isn't better completely. And now I'm not sure I want to do one. But that could change.

I didn't wander. Saw this sign and it kept me close to the aid stations.

Steve did great. Five and a half months after back surgery. Eleven weeks of training. He killed it. 26:31:41. And a full on sprint at the finish. Not "I just ran 100 miles" sprint, a "working out with Marquis" full on sprint.

Very proud of him. Very tired. Huntsville is 65 miles this side of Houston. Long drive.

in my corner

Dinner at Texas Roadhouse with Steve, Whitney and Denae.

Wings Soccer game with Steve and Whitney.

Great service at church with a sermon about the cross being the center of everything.

Pedicures with Whitney.

Housework, laundry and grocery shopping.

Stressful week at work, but lately they all are.

3 intense hours of working out with Marquis.

Yep. Normal run of the mill, maybe even a tad boring. And sometimes that's really nice.

training update

I'm starting to run again this week. YAY! The feetsleeves I got for my plantar fasciitis have worked. A pair of $50.00 compression socks with a weird heel with no toes in them. Plus kinesiology tape when I work out. Has done wonders. I also think the rest right away when it started hurting helped.

I have several marathons and even a few ultra marathons I'm looking at. April I'm thinking I will attempt a 40 mile at Clinton Lake. Steve is running a 100K there, there are lots of runners, lots of distances, and I've run there before, even though it kicked my tail. This one...

And then if I stay healthy Steve said he would run the Lunar Trek 100K with me in July. That was the night run I turned from 22 miles into 25 ish.

We are still working out with Marquis three times a week, hour sessions and plan to continue forever. It has done wonders for me and Steve. I like being strong and healthy.

So here's hoping to staying healthy and relatively pain free!

the adventures of wander woman

life is an adventure.

everyday there is something to be excited about.

someone to love.

something to do.

this week totally got away from me. it was crazy busy and whitney and were both sick and just so much stuff going on.

we had two meetings/parties/lunches with two local running organizations this weekend. food was good, and we love the people in our running community.

i ran the turkey trot for the fifth straight year. my plan was to "stay" with steve, he's been running for a week after 3.5 months off for back surgery. we got to mile 2 in seventeen minutes, a pace i cannot maintain and my strategy of staying with steve went out the window and i went to "plan a" which is always the same, finish and feel okay when you get done.

per usual, time was consistent with what i always run, attitude was consistent (meaning i had moments i loved and moments i hated and moments i wished i'd never started running) but when i saw steve at mile 9.5 come back to finish with me it made my race. such a happy girl when that happens.

with the 30 days of thankfulness i see on facebook i've had moments where i've thought about what i'm thankful for this month.

it has varied from the altruistic

thankful for my healthy kids
thankful for my job and benefits


to the extremely shallow and selfish

thankful for the diet coke in my refrigerator
thankful for my kinesiology tape
thankful for my dvr
thankful for two cars

i have a very blessed life. i'm very aware of that. very thankful for that. i just wish i could always be that way, and not have my moments of selfishness, self pity, self absorption, well, you get the idea. always will be working on that.

mostly, i realize that i love my life. i'm generally very happy. that is in addition to the joy i have with jesus as my savior.

Turkey Trot 2012

now i'm going to go sit on the couch and watch the music awards with steve.

have a great holiday week!

12 weeks to go

some days i think there is no way i'll be ready and some days i feel very good about the race and myself. i had both those this week.

I didn't get to run as much or as far as i would have like to this week. but today's 6 mile run was one of the best i've had in a while, i was able to pick up speed on the uphill with at five miles and was able to sprint the last 4 blocks, even after the hill.

i also had two of the hardest workouts with marquis yet, one was a 30 minute session in the sand pit. it included throwing medicine balls, sprinting with resistance bands, pulling tractor tires and flipping tractor tires.

all in all, i feel stronger than ever.

and i got to run with steve for the first time in 4 months. he's released to exercise and is so happy about that. a little pain in his back, but he was able to log a 4 mile run and a 6 mile run. i'm pretty happy about that.

what a weekend

saturday steve and i volunteered at the heartland 100. this is one of steve’s favorite races and he deferred his registration till next year. we were at an aid station at 42.5 miles in and then it was 57.5 miles on the way back to the finish. we had a great time. we waited on runners, feeding them soup, sandwiches, crackers, cookies, candy, filling water bottles, popping blisters, taping feet, digging in bags for new socks, shuttling runners who quit back to the finish line. it was a wet, rainy, windy, stormy day. steve was actually not disappointed to volunteering instead of running.

this is the race director’s 11 month old cutie playing in the mud, gotta love moms like this.

this is the first place runner. He was a cutie too. i love that this picture shows the way the sky looked, the muddy country roads that this race is run on, and the runner making his way down the street to the aid station.

sunday i ran the prairie fire half marathon with sheila.

we were as miserable as we looked here crossing the finish line.

i had forgotten how hard asphalt is. the street is harder than sidewalks and much harder than trails. the pounding tore my hip flexors up, and my feet were feeling it. but after a shower, a sandwich and a nap, i felt almost good as new.

dissatisfied

this is a follow on to my previous post about sharing too much via social media.

i canceled my pinterest account. i found myself looking at things and wanting things and wanting to make things and spend money on things that i never wanted before. and don’t need. and probably don’t want if i’m really honest.

for example, i have a great black peasant skirt. i saw something on how to wear peasant skirts and immediately took mental inventory of what i had and what i would need to buy (or borrow from whitney) to copy the look.

two problems here. I DON’T NEED NEW CLOTHES. I DON’T WANT TO COPY A LOOK MILLIONS OF OTHER WOMEN ARE COPYING. and i have some awesome clothes in my closet. (note – i’m wearing my black peasant skirt with a 4 year old orange running chics sheer tee, 75% off orange satin ballet flats and steve’s levi’s jean jacket circa 1988 as i type this).

i also see on pinterest women planning weddings when they aren’t close to being engaged (or even dating). and dressing children they don’t have. i believe this is dangerous, leading lots of women (besides me? or am i the only one that struggles with this?) into dissatisfaction in their lives as well. some dreaming and wanting is okay. but at some point LIVE AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU ARE NOW. if i was a guy dating a girl and I looked at her pinterest boards and she had 100 pins for her wedding and 179 of baby stuff it would probably freak me out.

i loved the humor boards until i came across several that were off color, down right raunchy, full of foul language, and the ones about teaching or created by teachers with typos and misspelled words just about send me over the edge.

and my dissatisfaction continued when i looked at facebook. you know about my love hate with facebook. i saw it. the much despised post “my husband just bought me an espresso maker (fancy name and picture). i’m so spoiled”. gag.me.with.a.spoon. (you can take a girl out of the 80’s but can’t take the 80’s out of the girl). and i don’t know the story behind the espresso maker. maybe she had been asking for one for a while and he finally got it for her. maybe he was tired of running to starbucks to get her espresso fix for her. or tired of watching the kids while she went. maybe she already had one and it was broken. maybe she was just publically thanking him because he’s the most awesome husband ever. not mine to get worked up over (but i did).

i ask steve why he doesn’t spoil me. he asks, pointedly, “do you want an espresso maker?” NO. because if i did, i could have one. he’d buy it for me or let me go buy it for myself. i realized that by this definition, i am spoiled too. he never tells me no. we just work it into the budget.

i changed my facebook profile picture to this one.

because i would rather have this all day long and twice on sundays instead of an espresso maker or any other expensive gift. a weekend out of town together, a race, a hug at the finish line. when i registered for my first race, a 10 mile in 2008 he registered too. and when i got to the 9 mile mark he had finished his race and come back and was waiting for me and ran the last mile with me. he’s done this more than once. ask me how I know he loves me and how he spoils me? this is one of many examples i can give.

this is not just a “brag about my husband” post. this is me looking at the kind things he does for me. the ways he shows me he loves me. he speaks MY love language, not someone else’s with espresso makers.

how quickly i can become dissatisfied with what i have, with my life in comparison to others. wanting more. wanting what others have. wanting validation from people that shouldn’t be able to speak into my life. steve is special. he is good to me. i don’t need presents, i just need him. and lots of races.

social media. i have to make sure that i get this right for me. i’m not telling anyone else how to manage their social media and how to live. it’s just a cautionary tale of the impact it can have on my life. and my continued search for the correct boundaries.

if you don't know where you are going

steve and i have put together the list of races we want to run next year. (it's exciting).

we have planned a weekend trip the end of this year.

we have budgeted and talked about christmas, what to do for the kids, present ideas.

we are talking about what we want to do after whitney graduates from high school.


i've always been more of a spur of the moment person. never planned too far ahead. i always thought that was my personality. now i'm starting to think it's because my life was so crazy and hectic that i didn't plan stuff because it was all going out the window anyway.

now when i make plans, it's possible to stick with them. i'm rather enjoying that.

i once heard a saying "if you don't know where you are going, you will probably get there". i don't want this to be true. i want to get where i want to get. (deep, huh).

i'd share, but you guys will hear about my races after i run them and whitney still has a year and a half of high school and then we have to see what her plan is for college. if she stays home a year or two we will not leave her. (i'd be happy if she did). and i don't want to tell you about christmas. nothing earth shaking, just trying to do the best we can for our kids where it will most bless them and still be exciting and fun without being needs.

it helps to have a plan. but you have to stick to the plan...

family

rarely seen together, this is steve and his three younger brothers. taken at grandma's funeral on monday before one went back to nebraska and one went back to illinois.

at the cross

sunday morning as we were walking into church i said a little prayer asking god to help me pay attention, listen for him and let him speak. it's so easy to let my mind wander during a service.

example, young man sits down in front of us and i tell whitney there is a guy for her, she should move up and sit by him. it was a joke, he was a geek, i have nothing against geeks, not at all. button down shirt, glasses, white tube socks...

steve says she should sit with the guy behind us. in whitney's words, "he's beautiful" and he was writing his tithe check.

i pulled it back in to concentrate and the worship set was all songs about the cross. loved that. especially one of my long time faves, at the cross by hillsong.

Oh Lord you've searched me
You know my way
even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me


we move on to the sermon and it's about the cross and how we want comfort but the cross is not comfortable.

i've thought about that for a couple days and i realize mostly that i have taken the cross for granted. i know the sacrifice. but i haven't been living like there was a sacrifice made for me, not recently. i've been coasting.

i was asked once not to long ago what i've done with my life that mattered. taken in context, this was asked by someone who thinks her career makes her life matter more than mine and that i'm not doing anything worthwhile.

this was not upsetting, it was more humorous because what i've done that matters is share jesus. i may not be a teacher or a doctor or a lawyer, a career "that matters", but i am a creation of jesus, and i love him and try to point people to him and that is what i do that matters. (i'm also a good wife, mother, employee, friend, etc.)

i thought about this today as i sat at steve's grandmother's funeral. everything i do on earth will be tested before my creator. thrown into a fire and the worthless stuff will be burnt off and we will see what is left. my earthly life will pass so quickly, and only what i do for jesus will stand the test of eternity.

1 corinthians 3:12-13
If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work.


the sacrifice jesus made on the cross cost more than his life. it cost him a separation from god. it cost him feeling the weight of all the sins committed by every human being past and future from that time. when i think of how heavy my sin weighs on me and the idea that jesus carried all mine at one time, forget anyone elses, i know the expense. i know he deserves more than what he gets from me.

he deserves my all. he deserves for me to remember the cross.

funnest race ever

just a few pics from the shrnrm3.87. it's an annual event, if you are a local, you might want to check it out next september. i had a great time.

some people look really cool when they jump, i look like i'm going to attack hannah.

last place got the tunnel, made me feel like a star

and steve won a (recycled) award for the "happiest volunteer".

too much???

this week i enjoyed reading blog posts on the topic of social media and sharing too much. am i guilty of this? should i keep more to myself? share more?

i have pulled way back in the last year. i’m faithful to my blog, but that’s about it. and you know, it’s mostly about running…

i protect my children. i protect my husband. i’m pretty open about me, but it’s my life. i don’t share things that would embarrass or hurt my kids. i try to do the same with steve, and if he’s told me certain subjects not to talk about, i don’t.

i have some thoughts on the subject of social media, but I won’t link back to one of my favorite blogs to participate in posts about social media, even though it’s set up for that, because then other people who don’t already read me might find me and i write for us. always willing to welcome new people, but i don’t go out to drag them here. they have to find me.

i was most interested in the posts about comparison. comparing yourself to others via what you see on social media. it can really make you feel like everyone has it together but you. or the opposite, you can feel pretty good because some people are a real train wreck and willing to share way too much.

i had a day last week where i logged onto facebook and in direct response to everything i saw wanted to post this as my status

“i did not work out today. i fixed frozen lasagna and bagged breadsticks (which i burned) for dinner. i forgot to buy 12 things at the store. it’s 11:30 p.m. and the 3 dozen brownies i’m supposed to take for the volleyball tournament fund raiser tomorrow are just coming out of the oven. there are no clean towels for showers.”

yep, the “i made 14 pints of jelly from berries i picked in my own backyard”? can’t compete. everyday workouts at 4:45 a.m.? not this girl. cornbread from scratch? why??? the jiffy mix is $.50 and with enough butter or dunked in chili you can't hardly tell the difference.

and pinterest - i have a pinterest account. primarily so I can read (stalk) the funny posters that cate pins. and her sister brenda. seriously follow both of them just for that. i can’t handle the perfect houses, the crafts that always turn out right, the recipes that require more than 5 items. i do use the occasional recipe, and lots of workout/running stuff, although every picture from every workout i’ve seen has been fitness models, no real women and can't compare to that. i actually most like pinterest to let my wonderful, creative, exciting, fascinating friends do all the homework for me when it comes to recipes and patterns and humor…thank you all very much.

Twitter – i’m just not clever enough. or exciting enough. it’s too fast paced for me. can’t keep up.

facebook – last weekend i ran a marathon. i shared one beautiful picture with the marathon's page and nothing else. but all the pictures from the fotog were posted. and he’s great. and the pictures of me were unflattering. i loved the ones from the glow run, remember i shared those? pink skirt, black shirt, i thought i looked good.

but i didn’t look good in these marathon pics. awkward angles, least flattering but most comfortable running clothes i own. sports bras are unflattering, and then i strapped a camelback on that didn’t help me look better. i ran for hours (and hours), i was sick, it was all uphill or downhill which made me hold myself at odd angles, the capris and gators made my legs look short and my calves look huge…get the idea? but i didn’t untag myself. on purpose. because when i only post the pretty pictures, i feel dishonest. when i only talk about how well i did, it’s a lie.

i love social media. staying in contact with long distance friends and seeing pictures. tracking my friends when they are running races to see how they are doing and how they finish. i love to read blogs. amateur writers have some of the best stuff to say.

social media is like anything else in life. it should have boundaries. i don’t have a set of boundaries, but i try to be aware and cautious. there are things that i should keep more private and areas where i only paint myself in a good light. but a lesson was learned for me earlier this month when i came across a file folder where i had printed some very upsetting blog posts and emails that had been sent to me. they had been taken down/deleted, but i still had the paper copies. what you say one time in the virtual world is out there forever.

that's what i think about most. whether it lives in someones mind or on paper or just on line, it's out there.

here are my unflattering pictures.

they are on facebook, not from me, and the hawk 100 website so i guess a third place isn't a big deal, right?

the adventures of wander woman

hawk marathon

i remember i said no excuses, so these are the facts. hard race. hard, hard day.

this course kicked my tail. steve had told me clinton lake was hard trails, and i believed him. but believing and experiencing are two entirely different animals.

i was ready. my stomach had been a little wonky that morning, but i have chronic stomach issues, i'm used to that. i was really tired and fatigued, but i only slept 4 hours so i figured 5 hour energy and gu chomps would wake me up. i'd be fine. pre race picture. i even look a little anxious.

and the first 6.85 miles, i was so confident and feeling good. at 6.85 i get to the first aid station. wait. let me back up.

at 2.5 miles in i got to see this sunrise from the top of saunders mound.

here i am, volunteer took my picture with the lake in the background. beautiful place.

the first 6.85 miles was uneventful, i was scooting along, keeping to a nice safe, but respectable pace. first aid station stopped long enough to fill up my camelback and headed out to ... well, much difficulty.

i didn't get far before i hit the rocks and limbs. i continually stubbed my feet and almost fell, but never actually did. which for me is success in itself. everytime i scrambled to keep my feet under my calves cramped. like fall down, grab them and scream in agony. i didn't, i just grabbed trees and hopped and stretched. but it slowed me down.

coleen had assured me personally that she marked the trail and if i followed the pink flags i would not get lost. i trust coleen, uber super ultra trail runner, so i wasn't too concerned until i hit this in front of me.

this behind me did in fact have the pink ribbon on the trail, so i plowed forward across these rocks.

bonus - this was the view to my left for about half a mile.

my entire focus was not killing myself on this portion of the trail. once i got beyond it i realized some things. my feet hurt. i had some hot spots on my arches from sliding around on the rocks and two toes on each foot hurt (always happens, my two middle toes are longer than my big toe. i'm a freak). this was expected, and i knew i could do 18 miles with these issues. but my metatarsals hurt. and my hip flexors hurt. and my calves were cramping even worse. this was too soon for this to be happening. but, i'm more adventurous and mentally strong than i am smart, so...

i am looking forward to mile 10.5 where i will get to see steve. looking at the garmin i pass 10 miles, 10.5 miles, 10.86 miles, and no aid station. this is mentally exhausting when i'm tired, thirsty, and just need a friendly face. i get there and my garmin shows 11.00 miles, which in trail running you can't count on your garmin to be exact or the measurements to be exact. but the marathon, 50 mile and 100 mile were all on the same 25 mile loop. the marathon did an extra 1.2 mile nature loop to start the race. so my disappointment was greatly reduced by: 1. seeing steve, 2. realizing i was at 11.7 miles and my garmin was behind, 3. a handful of tylenol, ibuprofen and salt pills, 4. and the knowledge that the next 2.5 miles was a grass prairie trail.

i saw steve again at 14 miles and then turned towards the finish line. ran two miles really well, but by this time i was so slow it didn't matter, and then at 16 miles i finally realized i might be sick. again with i'm more mentally tough than i am smart, i wanted the finisher medal. i walked the last 10 miles. well, basically. climbing up hills i managed a 26 minute mile pace. running flats, what few there were, i hit 16 minute mile pace. downhill i could hit a 14 minute mile pace. i will point out that i was working hard for these speeds too. i never took it easy. somedays your body just doesn't have it.

here i am finishing. i could've run, made it look good, but with my 20 minute mile average pace (this includes aid stations, picture and potty stops, lubing my feet stops, talking to chris at the downed tree for 5 minutes, etc, these are the only excuses i will make) i didn't see the point. (this time is for the 50/100 mile finishers, i wasn't THAT slow).

steve told danny that this is what defeat looks like - i was walking, dragging my empty camelback behind me. and i felt defeated.

here i am getting my medal. i earned this one.

i enjoyed the first 8 miles. i had several hours to feel inferior, slow, and just beat down. but the further i get from the race the more i realize that i am glad i finished, no matter how long it took, and didn't quit. i would run this one again.

i did burn 8,000 calories and couldn't make myself eat till after the race, and then it wasn't very much. still not hungry today, so tomorrow and tuesday i will probably eat like a bear.

highlights:
- i didn't get lost
- getting passed by adam as he went on to win first place in the 50 mile race with a blazing 7 hour 40 minute finish. he slowed down, high fived me and said "you look great! you are doing awesome." and was believable. superman's alter ego is not clark kent, it is a very handsome, fit, 20 something young man that lives in the kansas city area named adam dearing. true story.
- steve waiting for me at two aid stations, walking in with me at one, and being at the finish line.
- seeing nate for dinner friday night and him fixing dinner for me (dorito taco, i'd never had one) saturday after the race.
- coming home.

where do you find adventure?

you know i'm all about adventure.

i saw this on facebook...

"summer is the time for adventure"

so i looked. it was advertising the game "oregon trail" available on droids and iphones.

it made me laugh. adventure in a game on your cell phone. it's not my kind of adventure. i play games on my cell phone. words with friends and sudoku, when i don't have a book on my kindle app i haven't read. (don't get the wrong idea, i'm not a brainiac, these are just what i enjoy).

i realize that we all have our escapes. when life gets to be too much, what do you do? i have a couple, i workout. i clean. i read my bible. i break things (it has to get really bad for me to get to this point, but i feel so much better after i smash things and then clean it up, except when it is something i wish i hadn't broke because it was a gift or can't be replaced. but what's done is done).

and if i feel the need to really escape, i run.

so if you find adventure in a video game or on line good for you. if that is your escape, glad you have one.

i'm finding more and more that my soul craves the outdoors and god's beautiful creation. that my body wants the activity. wants to be pushed, to feel strong and tired at the same time. that my mind wants to wander, not be focused on a task or caught up in a book or television show. that i need to feel free, at least for a few hours a week.

my next adventure is the hawk marathon in september, a trail run at clinton lake in lawrence, kansas, (i'm always happy to go there, get to see nate), and i'm very excited about that.

what's your escape? your idea of adventure

rewind again...

i posted last year about this time that I hit the rewind button on my life and went back to 1990 and heard my favorite local college band.

it was about this time steve had knee surgery and toe surgery. right now, we are getting ready for his back surgery (tomorrow)

disability papers, doctor visits, time off from work. it was also first week of school and for the first time in 15 years it feels like an exact repeat of the year before. just whitney. Same school, same schedule, same kid. or is it???

how can she look so grown up

and then so young?

those déjà vu moments kind of weird me out. i’m kind of a creature of habit. like most, i get up about the same time every day, sometimes a little earlier or later, but not noticeably so. i shower, either before or after i run, brush my teeth, drink a diet coke.

i eat the same foods, small variations, but breakfast bar, granola bar, or fruit and yogurt, lunch is generally a salad. i get my workouts in, i run the same days every week, in theory.

housework, laundry, grocery shopping, carpool. to a large extent I hit rewind every sunday night and start over. that’s kind of a comfort. having routine. and this doesn't feel like rewind.

the weird stuff of repeating things that just don’t feel right or throw you off your game are not, well, they are not comfortable.

i was pretty stressed last week. typically i deal with stress fairly well. (or i think i do, don’t tell me different).

i can always tell when I’m on edge in one certain area of my life. when i’m behind the steering wheel. when i’m frustrated at the grandmas taking their kids to school driving 10 mph under the speed limit (this would be my mom). when the freshman parents don’t know the "proper" way to drop their kids off in the drop zone. when i’m mad at the rail road for letting a train go through town at 7:45 a.m. who schedules these things anyway? when i can’t drive and stay sane, i know i’m at my breaking point. (so i sit in the back seat with whitney driving and denae in the front seat. we took the scenic route, several times, because i wasn't paying attention or giving direction, but all roads lead to home...eventually).

so i went shopping. looked at furniture, it’s about time. (my kids are fighting over my old worn out comfortable couch and whitney thinks I should just put it in nate’s old bedroom). i worked out. i read my Bible. i browsed pinterest. (okay, sheila and cate's pinterest). i’m finding that’s not a good past time for me. i make what i like, i’ve already completed 3 projects and i haven’t been on it very long. found a shirt i fell in love with, so i bought it.

i feel better. the weekend leveled things out, and knowing tomorrow will help his pain makes a difference.

i did make a list of chores i want to get done in the days i’m home taking care of steve. fall housecleaning. i have 10 pairs of his old running shoes that need to go to the union rescue mission. (they are like new on the top, and the soles are in good condition, they just don’t have any running miles left in them). a closet that needs to be cleaned out. mirrors to replace. or at least get the glass ordered.

fortunately, steve’s an easy patient, so i should be able to accomplish several things. and he will feel better and be on the road to recovery.

training update

first off, i'm dealing with the disappointment that steve is out of commission run/race wise for three months. i run more/better when he is training too. especially having a tough time with it because he got into cascade crest 100 today, made it off the wait list. we had to cancel our plans for seattle, and i was pretty excited about going. of course, there is next year, and we will register him for it again. if i can find a way to get a car from the turn around point back, i might just be his pacer. i guess i should fill him in on this plan too.

i took the weekend off from running. did my hill work and ran this week, but this weekend did hours on the elliptical instead. wanted to give my legs a break. hawk marathon in 3 weeks. i'm pretty comfortable with my training for this one. (note: 50 mile training for rocky raccoon will commence september 17, so this is a good kick off for it).

since steve doesn't have a race schedule to plan around and i have whitney's volleyball schedule, i've looked at several races i want to run, some are shorter distances, just for fun. i haven't narrowed down which ones i'll do, but here's what is on the radar:

hawk marathon - lawrence, september 8, registered

see jane run half marathon - wichita, september 15, depends how i feel after hawk

monster run 4 miles of terror - el dorado lake, october 5, registered

prairie fire marathon - wichita, october 14, never planned on this one, same weekend as our "local" 100 mile race, heartland, that steve was registered for. now i can, so considering.

zombie apocalypse 5k - wichita, october 27, depends on post-season volleyball

inspire hope 8k (5 miles) - wichita, november 3, considering

pilgrim pacer marathon - kansas city, november 10, really want to run this one

turkey trot 10 mile - wichita, november 17, will run this one, first race i ever rance, have run it every year since. fun race, like the course and time of year fits perfect.

jingle bell run 5k - wichita, december 1, considering

i've stayed in touch with marquis, his kc chiefs tryout is september 1. if he (unfortunately) comes back to wichita, i will be on my own with him for 3 months till steve can exercise again. that will either whip me into shape or kill me. or refund me enough money to pay for the majority of the races above.

lessons from the trail part 13 - look forward, not back

steve and i were talking about the past. okay, he was telling me to leave the past where it is.

because my children grew up in the 90’s, it’s best said by...

pumbaa: it's times like this my buddy timon here says: you got to put your behind
in your past.

timon: No, no, no. amateur. lie down before you hurt yourself.

i rarely look over my shoulder when i’m running. i have stopped and looked at a particularly tough area of the trail to see it from both sides. when I climbed in boulder i took a picture looking up. then i took one from the top of the mountain looking down. (interesting that they were both where i was going…)

when i waded the water crossing at the rockin’ k, i looked back to see what i had just finished. that may have been the only time. i stop and look and enjoy the scenery and the view, but i find i’m always looking where i’m going, not where i’ve been.

it’s time to put this in practice in the rest of my life. i believe in moving forward. but I’m not too sure i haven’t let looking backward affect me negatively.

some areas it’s okay to reflect, for instance, my kids when they were little. but it’s not healthy to dwell on it and miss them all being home to the point that i sit and cry. just remember it as happy, albeit (can you believe i just used the word albeit? i started to take it out but it made me laugh) crazy time of life and think about the good now, and better coming.


how many people in the bible put their behinds in their past as they moved forward for god?

the apostle paul quit killing christians and became a mighty man of god.

the disciple peter quit being scared and denying jesus and taking his eyes off of him to become one of the greatest preachers of the first century (or ever).

rahab put her past as a prostitute behind her to help the spies that came to jericho escape and is listed in the lineage of jesus.

john the baptist had a whole ministry of preparing for what was to come. telling people someone great was coming, look forward, etc.


the view of where i’m going is more exciting than the view of where i’ve been.

days like this

i didn’t sleep well/much for the second night in a row

got up at 4:45 to run. felt like my shirt was choking me, kept pulling at the neck. finally looked at it and had it on backwards.

four miles took ten minutes longer than it should have because i walked too much.

was starving when i started running so on the way home from sheila’s stopped at mcdonald’s for breakfast. totally negated the calories burned running four miles.

left my windows cracked. unbelievable for july in kansas, rogue thunderstorm. had to run the third of a mile to the car in my dress and heels to put my windows up. put on my running shoes, they are in the car for my second workout of the day, meeting steve on my way home for more running fun and ran through the rain (quite a bit faster) on my way back in.

my trainer that i absolutely have loved working out with is on his way to kansas city for chiefs training camp and a tryout on september 1. i really hope his nfl dreams come true. i really do...?

everything at work today turned to crap. nothing went smooth.

i'm freezing. i'm wearing a jacket with a blanket over my lap. i may have to go outside and warm up.

they took all the lights out over my desk because the glare on the computer across the aisle was bothering my co-worker that sits there. so i'm cold and in the dark.

it’s only 1:30 and i’m starving again.

60 seconds

50 minutes of sprints later...

marquis: "one more set of sprints and you're done. come to me and back, and repeat"

crap, he's on the 40 yard line. maybe it will just be two times
nope, three times, four times,

50 yard line

marquis: "when you get to me, you are done. GO"

head up, eyes focused, shoulders forward, relax...
arms pumping, knees driving, feet digging in..
he's moving, on no, he's moving...

80 yard line

he's speeding up to stay ahead of steve

dig deep, harder, faster

endzone...

now don't throw up. don't put your arms over your head.
slooooowwwww deeeeppppp breaths. don't gasp. control
don't cry. don't cry. DON'T CRY.

you can do the hard things

the adventures of wander woman

lunar trek 22 mile run (25 mile in my case) friday, july 27, 2012, pike valley high school cross country team fund raiser

steve was running the 100k at the lunar trek so i figured i had plenty of time to run 22 miles. my training was not technically up for 22 miles, but that doesn't typically stop me. i figured i would easily finish before him, take a nap, and then drive us home.

for reference, in the last 3 months i haven't run further than 15 miles. so take your longest run and add 7 miles. now stay up for 17 hours, run all night and don't eat first. yeah, i dont' recommend it for you either.

steve's race started at 9:00, mine at 11:00. that's p.m.

so many things i should have thought about before i registered. being up for 17 hours before the race started without a nap. running on trails/dirt/gravel roads i'd never been on before. running said route illuminated only by a head lamp. my view was this, a circle of light about 10 feet in front of me and 5 feet wide.

i realized much later that my view would've been better by the moon and stars instead of the light. much to learn.

i added to the difficulty by eating dinner at 5:30 and then eating nothing else before and during the race.

all that said, i felt really good when we started. running well and everything felt good. i had just left the 5.5 mile aid station when i ran into steve, he was running the loop clockwise, i was running counterclockwise. he said his neuroma in his toe was hurting. bummer.

i still felt really good so i plugged along. and realized a couple miles later that my 24 oz bottle of water was not going to last me to the next aid station. i slowed down and started drinking less. with about two miles to the aid station i was out of water so i started walking. this added quite a bit of time to how long i would be on the course.

right before the 11 mile aid station steve texted me to say he had dropped after the first loop because his toe hurt. i understood (surgery is on the schedule for this winter). i wanted to finish my race. i continued on, uneventful until two miles from the 15.5 mile aid station was out of water again, so back to walking.

filled up and back on the road and still feeling really good, but unable to eat anything. my stomach felt okay until i picked up food and then immediate nausea.

blasted (okay, i felt like i blasted, but by this time it was a slow jog) through to the last aid stations, texted steve i was two miles out and turned like a horse toward the barn.

half mile from the finish i shifted into my finish line trot and then, in true wander woman fashion, missed the last sign (in my defense, signs were black arrows on white board about shin high in the ditch of the road. on the inside lane of the course. because 40 milers and 100k runners were coming back out i was being courteous and running the outside lane of the course) because we came in different than we went out, it wasn't terribly visible, there were two ways to go, one dead end sign and no moonlight. i chose poorly. when i had been running another mile and a half with no finish line, but came to a highway i was pretty sure i shouldn't be at, i called steve, lost. i was two miles from the finish.

i wanted to cry, and unlike baseball, there is crying in long distance running, but i didn't.

i also was a little disoriented at the time when i missed the turn. i saw a large combine parked off the side of the road. the combine was actually there, but i saw the wheels spinning and it was rolling out towards the street towards me. it wasn't moving, but the wheels were turning and i thought it was going to roll in front of me. i new this was just a hallucination, but it was still freaky.


i wanted a finish, so i turned in around, turned on my droid navigation system with the volume up loud and went back into race mode. i pushed that last two miles, hard. got to the turn, couldn't see the sign, but the navigation lady told me to turn so i did. even ran up the last hill full tilt.

i saw the finish line and...no steve. i was so disappointed already after a hard run, difficult run, being lost and running 3 miles further than planned, i could hardly stand it. but i finished and went to the car and collapsed into the lawn chair. i pulled a diet coke out of the cooler, because that's what i do post-race and took my shoes off. put on flip flops, talked to the race director, and found my post race sundress.

i finally went inside to change clothes and steve was sitting in the cafeteria with stuart. when i came in he looked at me with huge eyes, looked at the clock and said when did you get here. i told him i'd been back for 30 minutes. he told me my last text said i had 4 miles to go. stupid auto correct. put the decimal on the end of the word before to make it a sentence so it looked like i was 4 miles out, not .4 miles out. i couldn't look at him because at this point, all the disappointment, pain, frustration, anger, pain, tiredness, hunger and pain would have poured out of my eyes. it was my fault, i didn't read my text well enough before i hit send. darn combine.

we drove home this morning, i couldn't keep my eyes open. shower, nap, grocery shopping, laundry, pick up whitney,

and steve asks why i'm limping, i only ran 25 miles...


if i get a copy of the picture gary took at mile 18 i'll share it. simply so you can see me with a headlamp, reflective vest, and how dirty and sweaty i was.