i posted last year about this time that I hit the rewind button on my life and went back to 1990 and heard my favorite local college band.
it was about this time steve had knee surgery and toe surgery. right now, we are getting ready for his back surgery (tomorrow)
disability papers, doctor visits, time off from work. it was also first week of school and for the first time in 15 years it feels like an exact repeat of the year before. just whitney. Same school, same schedule, same kid. or is it???
how can she look so grown up
and then so young?
those déjà vu moments kind of weird me out. i’m kind of a creature of habit. like most, i get up about the same time every day, sometimes a little earlier or later, but not noticeably so. i shower, either before or after i run, brush my teeth, drink a diet coke.
i eat the same foods, small variations, but breakfast bar, granola bar, or fruit and yogurt, lunch is generally a salad. i get my workouts in, i run the same days every week, in theory.
housework, laundry, grocery shopping, carpool. to a large extent I hit rewind every sunday night and start over. that’s kind of a comfort. having routine. and this doesn't feel like rewind.
the weird stuff of repeating things that just don’t feel right or throw you off your game are not, well, they are not comfortable.
i was pretty stressed last week. typically i deal with stress fairly well. (or i think i do, don’t tell me different).
i can always tell when I’m on edge in one certain area of my life. when i’m behind the steering wheel. when i’m frustrated at the grandmas taking their kids to school driving 10 mph under the speed limit (this would be my mom). when the freshman parents don’t know the "proper" way to drop their kids off in the drop zone. when i’m mad at the rail road for letting a train go through town at 7:45 a.m. who schedules these things anyway? when i can’t drive and stay sane, i know i’m at my breaking point. (so i sit in the back seat with whitney driving and denae in the front seat. we took the scenic route, several times, because i wasn't paying attention or giving direction, but all roads lead to home...eventually).
so i went shopping. looked at furniture, it’s about time. (my kids are fighting over my old worn out comfortable couch and whitney thinks I should just put it in nate’s old bedroom). i worked out. i read my Bible. i browsed pinterest. (okay, sheila and cate's pinterest). i’m finding that’s not a good past time for me. i make what i like, i’ve already completed 3 projects and i haven’t been on it very long. found a shirt i fell in love with, so i bought it.
i feel better. the weekend leveled things out, and knowing tomorrow will help his pain makes a difference.
i did make a list of chores i want to get done in the days i’m home taking care of steve. fall housecleaning. i have 10 pairs of his old running shoes that need to go to the union rescue mission. (they are like new on the top, and the soles are in good condition, they just don’t have any running miles left in them). a closet that needs to be cleaned out. mirrors to replace. or at least get the glass ordered.
fortunately, steve’s an easy patient, so i should be able to accomplish several things. and he will feel better and be on the road to recovery.
