The Way I see it

really people, READ SHAKESPEARE

I read this to Steve, he said "what is that, the purge diet?"

No such thing as insignificant day. I dress up for me.

measure me

Yep, beating this dog again. Pinterest.

Holy cow do people really have this perfect of lives? Do their desserts always turn out perfect? All their projects works of art?

I wanted a pattern and the link took me to pinterest and then to the blog. I spent an hour trying to make an "easy 30 minute" project and I haven't given up completely, but I did put it away until my sister could explain it, which she did and also offered to just make it for me.

I understand how helpful it is and how much people love it. But dang, the pressure to dress your child like a mini-Audrey Hepburn has to be intense for mothers of toddlers. Whitney wore leggings and tee shirts. We had some pretty awesome pictures made, or 12 years ago they were pretty awesome.

Then I was overwhelmed by the number of grown women that took pictures of their Christmas presents from their husband to share on facebook with the "I'm so spoiled" or "I'm so lucky", or "I'm so loved".

Social media is great. Wonderful way to keep in touch. Why does it bother me so much? I don't have a pinterest account for the reason of it makes me want stuff. It points out where my desserts aren't picture perfect. And I was always happy with my sugar cookies and cake balls before, so I'm going to stay that way. I don't need to see that other people turn their deviled eggs into chickees for Easter. Making deviled eggs is enough work for me without adding eyes and beaks to them.

In our world of competition and keeping up with or being better than everyone else, it's hard not to get swept up into the need to convince everyone how great your life, kids, spouse, marriage, job, world is.

For those of you that can use pinterest without it mocking you, making you materialistic and feeling like your cookies are ugly, good for you. I mean that. Is there anyone else like me that can't take the pressure?

I've had a good holiday season. I've had wonderful relaxing holiday break. I got presents and I loved them all. I'm not spoiled, I'm not lucky, but I am loved. With my attitude, mouth, laugh lines, diet coke habit (seriously, two large ones during The Hobbit), and serving my family leftovers for dinner often, I'm still loved. I'm not treated like a princess, I can't say I've never been hurt by those who love me. That's just life. It's beautifully painfully imperfect.

So if you are feeling the pinterest/facebook/twitter pressure of keeping up with the other moms of kids your age, STOP IT! Don't worry about the artfully arranged perfectly matched awesomely accessorized outfits on pinterest, wear what you like that looks good on you and own it. If you look weird, just tell them you are "eclectic". Works for me. But I'm betting you are beautiful when you are most you.

And God has given you the right kids for you. Store bought cupcakes for school birthday parties won't leave a scar. Recycle last year's halloween costumes. And please know that pizza rolls can be dinner.

If you need to hear that you are okay and normal and doing just fine, let me know. I'll tell you.

Or we can be weird together.


Bonus...blurry picture from Friday's workout.

i have questions

when your co-worker has a “tail” clipped to the back of their clothes, do you tell them?

do some places actually have gradual changes in the weather or does everywhere see 30 degree temperature changes in a 12 hour period?

when I’m working out with marquis and have an audience waiting to see “how long it will be before she punches him”, is it too extreme?

how do you know when a 16 year old girl is really okay? moods change faster than the kansas weather.

you can unfriend/unfollow people on facebook and twitter. you can block them. Is there a way to wipe your mind clean of them? why can’t my mind be like an etch a sketch, turn it upside down and shake it clean. oooooh, better yet, a virus cleaner for your mind. yep, someone please invent this. and make it affordable.

how long can you sit in a meeting getting asked questions you can’t answer before you realize that they think you are someone else? well, not someone else, but they think that you do a different job then you do? really awkward meeting.

how long is it okay to dream about blowing an unexpected lump sum of money (ie. bonus/found money) before deciding to do the responsible thing?

can you maintain a “healthy lifestyle” and eat a piece of cake everyday?

do you have a friend you are close enough to buy her a pair of panties as a gift? that is a really close friend. whitney did this last week for a friend of hers. it was a moment when i wandered if i was not close enough to my friends to buy them panties or if i was close enough to know better than to buy them panties. denae loved them.

Random Thoughts

Facebook and twitter and cell phones add new dimensions to parenting. I get to be so much more aware of my kids lives. Have to be more worried about the constant communication and the intimacy that comes with that. And I get to see way more than I want to know. But just like knowing your kids friends, their parents, what their houses are like, monitoring clothing choices, these have to be monitored also. I did threaten Whitney the other day with a punishment, getting her a flip phone. Not taking her phone away, but giving her a “dumb” flip phone. SMH! At myself.

We are back church shopping. Well not till after volleyball season, until then we will attend churches that have Saturday evening services. Apparently our new church didn’t love us as much as we loved them. Nuff said. I was willing after this last week to not go at all, which is sad because I love church. Steve won’t let us do that. (I didn’t really want to anyway). It’s in God’s hands, right? He has a plan for us, even if we continue to make our own way, off his path, he veers us back on at some point. For some reason I just pictured a herd of cattle trying to go its own way and a dog barking at them to corral them through the gate. I’m not saying I’m a cow or God’s a dog, just a weird thought that came to mind.

My training for the marathon had me concerned, but I couldn’t add mileage too fast without risking injury, so I added high impact cardio classes 4-5 times a week. NOTE TO SELF: You are not tough enough for 30 minutes of 8 MPH sprints followed by Shalen’s Zumba class. Also when you show up to zumba or turbokick after running you are already sweating. Which means you will sweat sooner and heavier than you usually do in these classes. Sweat on hardwood floors can be dangerous. REMEMBER THIS!

I wonder how many times I can cancel a before work run with Sheila before she gives up our friendship? It’s lasted 30+ years, is this the thing that might break it?

Rewind - again

I hit my life's rewind again. Went back to high school, senior year.

I sat at all of Whitney’s volleyball games this year and never felt transported back in time to my days as a high school volleyball player. Maybe because the game is so different, we didn’t have a libero, rally scoring, spandex, and if the serve hit the net it was a side out, not a great serve.

Went to the Heights basketball game Tuesday night, girls and boys. Made me think of my days on the basketball court. The game hasn’t changed, and the length of their basketball shorts is longer than the culottes I wore at my Christian school. No lie. One major difference, these girls got game! Very impressive.

I also get to go back to middle school on Monday, for an off-site work meeting. You know those places you’d rather never go? Hospitals? Dentists? Well, Curtis Middle School is on my list of places I don’t want to go. Since I’ve been in the hospital (visiting) and at the dentist, I guess Curtis Middle School makes it my hat trick within a 7 day period and I’ll be done with

Have a great weekend everyone! I hope you get to go places you love, see people you love, and do great fun activities.

Random Thoughts

What is the fascination with vampires? They drink blood, can’t come out during the daylight, and they bite people. I have a hard enough time hugging people I don’t know very well, biting a stranger? Ewwww. (I realize I’m more bothered by biting them than drinking their blood.)

Why do people send out emails of the people of walmart dot com website? If I want to be grossed out by the people who shop at Walmart, I’ll go to Walmart. Or look on purpose at the website. Being greeted with that unsuspecting in the morning while eating breakfast when I open an email is quite a shock.

My 15 year old daughter would never in a million years dress like me, especially not at the same time. Last week her and Steve bought the same running shorts. Then on Saturday she made sure they both wore them to her volleyball tournament. And she put hers on over her spandex between every game so everyone could see. And they were loud. Highlighter green with orange and blue stripes on the side. It was great fun when someone would point out that “that dude has the same shorts” and she would say, “that’s my dad”.

I get to see Nate next weekend. This is the first time I have thought about putting a smiley face in something I typed.

It’s windy in Kansas. And dry. There are fire watch advisory’s out this week.

I have a phone on my desk at work, a company cell phone and my personal cell phone. I get personal calls at work and company calls on my personal phone.

I watched Whitney construct a quesadilla last night. Tortilla layered with cheese, refried beans, grilled chicken breast, salsa, sour cream, more cheese and another tortilla. It was about an inch and a half thick. Feeding her after 17 volleyball games last week and 3 days of practice is fun. I took her and Maddi to Il Vicino with us when we went out with Jake and Carrie last week. Both girls mowed through their whole pizza, Maddi ate a salad, and then Whitney came and got money for Tiramisu for them to share. All that, and she’s getting thinner.

Rough day

Everyone else's lunch smells better than mine. That could be because I have a can of split pea soup...

Tore my favorite dress on the seat belt getting out of the car.

Just got told I have to work overtime for the next week. Gonna try and get out of it. Wish me luck.

Heavy heart and lots of prayers for Nate. It's hard not being around him, I can tell when things aren't right, but he's too far away and I can't fix things. (If you have a minute you could pray for him, I'd appreciate it.)

I stayed in bed 15 minutes too long. I'm sporting what I call my "wind tunnel look". I dried my hair under the ceiling fan in front of the box fan with the blow dryer. Then I look in the mirror and determine whether a flat iron, curling iron or banana clip and hair pins is the best option.

And it's only 12:00...certainly enough time for the day to turn around.

Hey!!! I have split pea soup for lunch! AND DIET COKE!!!

My dress has embroidery on it, maybe I can repair it and no one will know?

I may have to work overtime, but I still get the whole long weekend off.

Nate says he's doing good and he likes it and things are going okay. Maybe my mom intuition is off??? Maybe??? Just maybe???

First volleyball game is tonight.

I'm getting Subway for Steve and I on the way to the game, so I'll enjoy that meal. Along with another Diet Coke. (Oh how sad the things I look forward to).

Temperatures are cooler.

Three new audio books from the library, at least I'll have something to listen to while I work 9-10 hours a day.

Try and change my perspective.

Random thoughts

I'm so glad I didn't have to go to school today. It's the first day of sophomore year for Whitney. Such an uneventful year. Sophomore. And no school supplies, she'll be coming home with lists for each class for the next two weeks. All she needed was her purse, id and lunch money. And some new kick a$$ purple chuck taylors. This is her new hair color last night. The light brown didn't cover the red very well. But there is a bright pink and peroxide blonde streak in the back you can only see when she wears it up in her poof.


I like to wear dresses. Frilly, girly, pretty dresses. And jewelry. And make up. And high heels. Life is too short to wear ugly shoes is one of my mottoes.

You know how some people have a knee that tells them when it's going to rain? I have a shoulder that lets me know when I'm suffering from stress. Like I need shoulder and neck pain to tell me I have stress.

I have heard it said that the things you worry most about never happen. That's true.

Steve sang at a memorial service for one of the greatest men I have ever personally known. Judge Paul Clark. Steve got to sing in a style I would label "baptist old school". Suit and tie, (he looked sharp) Ray Boltz "Thank You For Giving to the Lord" with a CD. He sounded great. And I got to see some old friends from Newspring. Haven't seen them in 5 months. Pastor Mark, Linda, Pat (I loveloveLOVE Pat), Ryan, Melinda, Kevin, Melissa, Dan (okay, I see Dan at work and we've been out to dinner with him and Jackie, so not 5 months there).

I ran four miles with Sheila at 5:00 this morning. I was feeling so good at mile four I was wishing I could run Saturday mornings scheduled 8 miles.

My favorite college era local rock band did a reunion gig last weekend. Room Full of Walters. Went to The Loft Saturday night and hit the rewind button on my life to return to 1991. Which is a really weird feeling. My friend from forever, Alan is in RFOW, second from left. They played early alternative music, XTC, REM, Duran Duran, The Mighty Lemon Drops, the Cure and some original stuff. And some Elvis.

He is currently in Lucky People Band, far left. He is one of the few high school holdover friends that is Steve's friend now as much as he is mine. And he is an awesome drummer. They play rock, 80's through some current stuff. Great fun.


This should probably be titled Random Boring Thoughts, but if you are reading this, you stuck it out to the end, so you are as bored as I am boring.
HAVE A BLESSED DAY!!!

Random thoughts

I washed my dresses the other day. Set the water temp to cold, selected delicate cycle, took my dresses off the hangers, (I hang them up dirty so no one else washes them for me) and put them in the basin. Then I added detergent. Tide febreze sport.

I woke up Saturday morning. Felt skinny, so I got on the scale. I was down again. Which I’ve been working hard, but I still am always excited when the scale moves. Ran 8 miles. Went to a birthday party and ate extra salad and pork loin to avoid rolls, cake, cookies and pie. Then was a little miffed that I didn’t bring any of the half the cake that was leftover home with me.

Sheila went on vacation for 7 days. I wanted to respect her family time, so I purposely didn’t text her. Or so I thought. I looked at my phone. I left her alone for one whole day of her vacation.

I’m meeting Sheila to run at 5:00 a.m. Normally a 35 degree drop in temperature requires a wardrobe change. Do I need my cold weather tights? It’s going to be 70 degrees.

Random thoughts and pictures

I know someone that was greatly upset that President Obama knocked back a Guinness and it was shared on the news. Did I miss something? I don’t think it’s terrible that our President was drinking a beer. If there is more to this story, please fill me in. This person posted on facebook how offensive they found this, and I read the comments and there were several that agreed. I think it’s more embarrassing to the American public that a presidential limo got high centered on a hump in the street and there’s a 6 minute video of it on youtube.

They’ve predicted we have an 8 in 10 chance of tornadoes here today. Typically for Kansas meteorologists
that means the storm will miss us completely. We canceled school two days last winter because of storm predictions and then it didn’t storm. They said after the fact that it was because it was too cold. Way to (try and) save face. Of course canceling school was school officials acting on the information the meteorologist provided.

Why yes, the wind is blowing in Kansas today.

Do home school kids get snow days?

Steve is thinking of adding a race this summer called the “Lunar Trek”. It’s July 15; full moon night. I don’t think he’s crazy, I’m just jealous (and I know, true love isn’t jealous) that my foot has me sidelined and I won’t be able to run too. 100K starts at 9:00 and the other distances (10K, 11 mile, 22 mile, 50K and 40 mile) start at 11:00. And that is P.M.

I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing Whitney’s BFF Madeline until she was over last night. (They’ve been together, just not at my house). Just a few gems from Maddi “what is charcoal made of?” Whitney “uhhhhh huhuh (think Beavis and Butthead), coal?”. Maddi giggling, “Oh, I’m so stupid. My mom was making ribs the other day and they were white instead of red and I asked her if they were chicken ribs.” (I just laughed again typing that).

Today is the last day of freshman year of high school. Whitney doesn’t want to be a sophomore, she’d rather be a freshman because “I don’t even know any sophomores”.

I’m hungry. And I have a diet coke and popcorn for lunch. I know way better than this. But after the birthday party and two graduation parties this weekend I ate way too much cake. And we had donuts at the Steve 50 and I ate way too many donuts. And a bag of M & M’s. The 14 oz size. I ate a week’s worth of calories in two days. But I watched Steve run 50 miles, that burned a few, right???

I really miss getting to run. Who wouldn't miss 26.2 miles of running these types of trails? They are both horse trails, and I ran these one month apart. I never showed any good pictures of the Texas trail that a lot of sand. The sand and heat in March was actually more difficult than the snow and cold in February. But I loved both, and really can't wait to run again.

Pictures from my March run




Pictures from my February run

Random thoughts

I just rode up the elevator at work listening to people complain that the elevator is slow and about the quality of the food they just purchased in the cafeteria but have not started eating yet. People, you have options. Take the stairs if the elevator is too slow. And bring your lunch, or at least taste it before you complain.

The wind is blowing. I'm wearing an above the knee skirt today. Good thing I did laundry.

It's the middle of May in Kansas and I expect to need my umbrella. Needing my jacket seems a little odd.

I want some extra money. Notice the "want" not "need" in this sentence.

When I get bored I think about food or sex. Food and sex? I think "or" sounds better. Will go with or.

The picture of Greece on my work calendar is very pretty. Makes me want to visit.

Freddrick told me on May 3 that I would be sore all month with his twice a week workouts. He did not lie. Then he gave me direction for my two other weights workouts each week. Sadist. However, I'm not complaining...just walking a little awkward.

Right now I'm thinking about chocolate cake.