If wishes were horses...

My mom always said this. If wishes were horses beggars would ride. My family had quite a few odd ball sayings, most morphed from misunderstandings. My dad always said something was “as useless as faucets on a sow pig”. My sister thought he said fosters on a sow pig. What that even means is anyone’s guess. Another family gem, you’d complain if someone gave you a million dollars cause you had to take it to the bank. There were also the jokes that at one time probably were real jokes, but through miss-telling became funnier to us, and then funnier when we told them because no one else understood, which was the whole point of the joke.
What sits on a wall and laughs? Lemon meringue pie.
What’s the difference between an orange?
Two penguins were sitting in a hot tub. One says to the other, pass me a bar of soap. The other one replies, what do you think I am? A typewriter?
How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Hey, wanna go ride our bikes?
And family sayings…
Grandma’s funny!
Can’t we all just get along?
Ann Margaret! (Always used in trivial pursuit when we don’t know the answer.)
What prompted this trip down memory lane? Listening to my kids talk to each other and not understanding what they were saying. Sometimes they use lines from movies or TV shows that I haven’t seen, which leaves me in the dark, like “Anarchy, Anarchy!” But they have their jokes that I don’t get and their conversations I’m not a part of, and I like that. I remember how close I was to my brothers and sister growing up, and even now my brothers can make me laugh harder than anyone else I know. Except my son and my nephews. Chips off the old block, I tell you.
A life without laughter is just not as much fun. The people I enjoy most are the ones that make me laugh and laugh with me. (I can be serious, and know when I should be, although that doesn’t always work out). Life is hard, I feel like I have had more than my share of hard knocks (if I had my way I wouldn’t have any) but laughing sure helps. So this week, I’m “putting on a happy face” and I’m going to enjoy life.**

**this is directed at me, as I had discouraging news twice today already and once over the weekend and I’m choosing to be happy!

Conversations with Whitney

Setting: My house in the evening, Steve is watching the history channel, I'm doing paperwork. Whitney comes out of her room in sweats, tee shirt, tennis shoes with her back pack over her shoulder.

Me: Going somewhere?
Whitney: blank look
Me: It's 9:32 in the evening
Whitney: blank look
Steve: laughter
Whitney: I'm so stupid. (and she goes back to bed)

Weekend in Review

It was so crazy, I just now realized it's over. Volleyball tournament was Saturday, Whitney's middle school team broke all kinds of school records this season. They were undefeated, won all city title by winning the tournament Saturday, first year ever the students beat the faculty in volleyball, and the faculty didn't give it to them, and best of all, all ten volleyball players were on honor roll so they had a special recognition of them at the honor roll breakfast. It was really cool. Two things I didn't like about the breakfast, the food wasn't great, and since I've gone back to weight watchers eating unhealthy food that is not good, not gonna do it, and I didn't have enough time to visit with the other moms.
Judgment House is over, so Steve is home a little more (YAY) I really missed him. Nate went to Manhattan for a base ball camp (Manhattan, Ks) his baseball fundraiser is over and his part time job is over for end of season, so he will have a little extra time until he finds another job, if he so decides.
I have realized that the holidays are looming right around the corner. I love some aspects of the holidays while others not so much. Unfortunately I have some relationships that will never be right this side of heaven, and while we all manage to get along and sweep junk under the rug, the junks there, and it does diminish the enjoyment of the season. My kids are all old enough Christmas shopping is hard (and expensive). Also have 6 close family birthdays to celebrate between now and the end of the year. Me and cake, now we get along waaaaaay to well.
Anyway, enough rambling, I have dishes and laundry to do before I try to get to church tonight. Everyone have a great week!

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin...

I think we try to hard for analogies. Have you seen this e-mail?
“Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see. This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. Now, it is your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch. Happy Fall!”

Why is it so many “pumpkins” look scary and unhappy? And the longer they sit outside on the front porch the scarier they look. They wither up and everything puckers to the inside. If I’m going to compare my Christian life to a pumpkin, turn me into a pie and top me with whipped cream. Pie looks good, smells good, tastes good and doesn’t come with a scowling face. Actually brings a little pleasure to life and generally is followed by a nap. Don’t get much better than that.
I love Halloween. Some may think it’s the devil’s holiday, but anything with that much candy has to be Heaven sent. I love all things pumpkins, including jack-o-lanterns.
This year Whitney is a bee. Not a sexy bee (because she is just 13), but not bee girl from Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video either. Best part is, it’s a friends costume from last year, so NO $$$ were spent procuring this costume. She is going to a party at a friend’s house after the volleyball tournament, so I won’t get pictures unless I make her dress up again.

Conversations with Whitney

Whitney (at age 8) had set up a TV box as a “store” one weekend. She talked everyone in to coming to her store and buying things from her, with real money. Nothing like spending my money to buy granola bars, cookies and diet coke that I had already paid for once at Walmart, but it kept her occupied for hours. The next morning she got up and went to her store and asked her dad to come shop. He told her she was still in her pajamas and she had to get dressed for work.

She says, “but it’s casual Friday”.

I don't know me!

I was walking through the plant today and saw someone and thought, “that lady has a dress like mine”. For those of you thinking no one else in the world would dress like me, you are right; it was my reflection in a mirror. I didn’t recognize myself. There are a few reasons, I haven’t worn this dress since cold weather, my allergies are bad and when I wear my contacts my eyes itch so I’ve been wearing glasses. I got new glasses this summer after having the same ones for about 6 years, and I rarely look at myself in the mirror at home when I’m wearing them. I just got my hair done (color) and it’s in a new style (okay, it’s not a new style, it’s raining and my hair has a mind of it’s own on rainy days). My dress also fits different than it did 600 miles ago. I laughed at myself that I saw someone and didn’t recognize myself. This goes along with the idea of our sermon this week. I have not heard a preview or even know anything about it beyond the topic, which is the monster within, and I only know this because Steve told me. Even without knowing what will be said, this is one I won’t miss, because I know the monster in me. Not recognizing myself in a mirror is funny, but it has happened in other instances as well. Have you ever been in a situation where someone told you a negative something about yourself and you didn’t get it? You don’t see yourself that way at all. Flip side, someone sees something positive in you and you don’t see that either. This has happened to me a lot. And I think I’m pretty easy to know, but then again I didn’t recognize myself walking through the factory, so I could be way off base.Fooling myself doesn’t happen often. I’m a realist. I’m not a pessimist, I don’t believe the worst is always going to happen, but I’m not an optimist either. I don’t believe the best is always going to happen. John 16:33 says “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (NLT) Jesus tells us life is going to be hard here on earth. No one gets a pass on this. But he gives us the answer to this; have peace IN HIM because he has overcome this world with its many trials and sorrows. When I think of trials and sorrows, this has been a rough season for me. Not so much my trials and sorrows, but feeling the pain from friends who have suffered. I can’t begin to say I feel it like they do. Cancer, death, job losses, children having problems, health issues in general, financial difficulties, just loss of hope that there will be something better in the days to come. Then I read this verse. I regularly read this chapter and keep it in mind where the people I love are concerned because I need the reminder that if I love these people (and I do) then this is how it’s done. This verse spoke to me just a little differently today. Romans 13:7 “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance”. (NLT)Always before I have looked at it as never giving up on the people I love, and enduring through the tough times because better days are coming. But today I realized that this love comes from our Savior. I don’t give up, because I want to do what is right. I want to hear the words from Matthew 25:21 “well done” someday. I don’t lose faith, because in Hebrews 11:6 “without faith it is impossible to please Him”, I always hope, because Romans 15:13 “God, the source of hope,” and I endure because Hebrews 12:7 “as we endure this discipline…God is dealing with us as children”. One thing I learned over the last 4 months of my physical training for a marathon is there are many parallels to life. Sometimes you are running uphill against a 25 mph straight line wind and you want to quit. But you slow down and walk and let people around you encourage to keep going. Sometimes you are hot and sweaty and hungry and thirsty, so you stop and take a break and refuel. You endure the trials and tests of training because when it’s time to really step up and face the “race” you want to have the strength to finish, and finish well. I have always hated this analogy that God gives you these struggles to prepare you, because it meant the trials and struggles I was facing were getting me ready for the race, and if the training is this hard, then what is the race going to be like? But then I did my marathon training and ran the race. I made a huge discovery. The actual race was so much easier than the training. I was prepared. I hope when I don’t recognize myself it’s because I’m getting better.

I have learned

1. Green beans do not make a good snack. Unless they are deep fried and dipped in ranch.
2. People that make the doors and walls of public bathrooms have a sense of humor. I was in one the other day and they were manufactured by “Hiny Hiders”.
3. Age 41 is better than age 21, even with wrinkles, gray hair and the effects of gravity. I’ve lived through both, so I’m an expert.
4. Being able to eat 2 donuts for breakfast, 2 cupcakes for lunch and a Braum’s banana split for dinner (this is what happens when I’m left on my own for a day) and still have a 2 pound weight loss at weight watcher’s the next day can set a very bad precedent.
5. I can walk 50 feet on a 3 inch wide concrete rail in 4 inch platform oxfords without falling. I did this to keep from getting mud on my light colored leather/linen oxfords. I wonder if that would have been as important had I fallen off and broke my ankle? Hindsight, anyone?
6. Four teenage boys cannot sneak through your living room, office and kitchen behind your back without being noticed.