Tuesday, May 13, 2014

An unpopular opinion

I know this isn't the popular opinion.

I just watched a new story about a high school girl who felt something pop in her thigh and her twin sister carried her piggy back style 370 meters of an 800 meter race.

Add to that the story of the Boston Marathon runner that fell down just short of the finish line and other runners carried them across the finish line.

I run races. I have DNF'd a race (did not finish). I have been dead last.

This is my unpopular opinion. If you don't cross the finish line in your own power, you didn't finish the race.

I understand how moving it is to see someone help someone across the finish line. How selfless, how sacrificial.



I think it's great you gave it all you had, and all you had wasn't enough, but there will be another race.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Who Am I?

It's Mother's Day in an hour. I've been mama (or mom) for almost 22 years. It is the single most important title I've held. And while I will always be mom, I hit a milestone tonight. Whitney graduated from high school. I watched for her on the big screen and when the camera picked up her and Madeline walking in to the arena, my heart stopped. My baby girl, all grown up.

Reality check for me, she is grown up. She has her first semester of college finals next week. She is enrolled in her second semester of college in the fall. She has her first unsupervised trip with a friend next week, to see her favorite singer in Colorado.

Life moves along whether we are ready or not. I am but I'm not. I love the freedom that comes with older kids. I love that my money is able to be spent more how I want to and not how it's dictated to me. But I miss being able to make decisions for my kids. Because I'm much better at it than they are.

I'm surprised to realize that I'm trying to figure out who I am at my age. Everything is changing - again - and while I understand that change is inevitable and it is mostly good, I find myself struggling. I thought I had everything figured out, but apparently I was wrong.

I know you can't stop the growing up process. You can't hold them back, you can't hold on to them. You have to let go and trust that everything you've invested in them, everything they've learned from everyone that has had impact on their lives, and that God will take care of them.

I just don't know how mommy birds can push their babies out of the nest.