Sunday, May 17, 2015

I should count sheep

I can't sleep. This is why.

Did I blow the candles out?

There's supposed to be severe weather this weekend.

OMG, did I pay the house insurance?

What date does Nate's rental textbook have to be returned by to avoid being charged for it?

Where is the text book?

What was that noise, is Belle running wild at night through the house?

Nate's up. Crap, he will have eaten everything in the house by tomorrow morning.

What did Steve say I forgot at the grocery store? What was it...oh yes, toothpaste. I have extra. We'll get by.

Did I move the clothes from the washer to the dryer?

I ordered Belle a new collar over a month ago. Wonder why it hasn't come in yet. It's only $8.00, but it does have her name and phone number on it.

What do I get Amelia for graduation?

Did I pay the insurance?

Dang, why don't these Ibuprofen PM take effect faster? Is that effect or affect?

Thursday, May 14, 2015

You are not a quitter

I had a tough couple days this week. Low energy, lack of sleep. It impacted my working out.

I was at the gym yesterday, and per my request, Marquis has been giving me speedwork to do. He had me get on a treadmill and walk at an incline carrying weights.

This is tough, but definitely doable. 5 minutes. And 2 minutes in I began saying to myself, "you are not a quitter. You are not a quitter. YOU. ARE. NOT. A. QUITTER!. You do the hard stuff. Don't quit. You are not a quitter."

I said this over and over and over to myself, for 3 minutes. I didn't realize I passed the 5 minute mark until Marquis came over and turned off the treadmill and took my weights from me.

Today, I realized that is so much like Jesus. We have a tough road in front. Uphill, carrying a heavy load. And we have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just telling ourself to keep pushing on. Saying, "you are not a quitter", and believing it. And then, Jesus takes the load, levels the path, and and says, "good job, Pats".

Usually I work out with Sheila and Steve close, Marquis is close, but Sheila wasn't there and Steve and I both at that point were doing a solo workout. Usually I have a lot of encouragement. But that long 5 minutes, I was all by myself, or so it felt. And it was a good reminder that even when I feel alone, I'm not.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Grandma's Hands

"You have grandma's hands", Whitney tells me as she is watching me fix dinner.

I look at my hands, hands that are ordinary. No distinguishing characteristics. Ordinary.

They show some years.

They look like my mom's.

And that is okay.

My children think my mom is awesome. I agree with them.

And if my mom is awesome, and anything about me makes them think of my mom, I can accept that.

Happy Mother's Day!

Thursday, May 7, 2015


While Steve and I were in Chicago, we did one of my favorite things to do on vacation. We went to church. I love to find a church in a city I'm not familiar with and worship with strangers yet family.

We went to Willow Creek. It is a great church. I've heard of it, but didn't know much about it. I was not disappointed.

It was their 3 week Celebration of Hope. Think typical missions conference on steroids. There were organizations there with booths set up in the lobby that support world missions. Rain boots for students in Cambodia. Seeds for countries everywhere. Water for countries that don't have access to clean water. The list is about 30 long.

They did this. Gave out these bowls to everyone in attendance.

They were hand made, treated, and painted in Guatemala.

They asked everyone to eat a meal (or two or more) from this bowl over the next three weeks. Not to over fill it, and after you were done not to eat seconds. Just to be hungry and think about the people that that is all they get to eat. (I realize there are people in this country that live like this as well). I was going to clear my counter before I took the picture, but the irony of the cookie jar half full of Chips Ahoy cookies, the bananas that will most likely turn brown and be baked in oatmeal and the two different jugs of protein powder because Steve likes chocolate and I like vanilla next to these small bowls was not lost on me. And you can barely see the bowl of granola bars that my family doesn't like cause they are generic, that we feed to the dog and the neighbors dog instead of dog treats.

I've only used mine one time, and it holds a small amount of food. I was hungry before I went to bed.

I was touched by this. The service, the thought that went in to this, and the fact that they hired people in Guatemala and paid them to make these bowls. I was challenged to try and meet needs in my world. To continue with World Vision, and other areas I'm involved in, but to take every opportunity to help where I can. Big or small, individual or organization, to be a blessing because I am so blessed. We are not wealthy, but we have enough. Enough to live, enough to give.

I also got to hear Bob Goff preach. If you don't know who he is, you have missed out. He is the author of the book "Love Does" and is a phenomenal speaker, humanitarian, and individual.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Live every moment

For the second time in my life I have a very real "live every moment" person in my life.

The first one is my sister in law. She had a younger sister that passed away shortly after her 18th birthday. Becky was very special, she had a degenerative muscle condition. She was blind and physically and mentally challenged. On my nephews first birthday Michelle told me she would always make a huge deal out of her kids birthdays. Her sister had one birthday before she got sick, and was never whole again.

Michelle and my brother Kelly, November 2014
Cameron is 26 (and expecting his first baby) and I have remembered this my whole life. I like to celebrate people, but I have started recently taking it to an even greater level.

The second was on our vacation to Chicago a couple weeks ago. Steve had run a 100 mile race in Texas and another runner had been at the same race and friended him on facebook. I'm kind of iffy on Steve being friends with people he (I) don't know on facebook, (and that is my issue) but other ultra runners in other towns typically don't bother me. When we were planning our trip to Chicago, Steve contacted Alfredo and asked to run a long run through Chicago while we were there. Unfortunately, Alfredo was diagnosed with ALS in January. He went from running 75 miles in October, had to drop when his muscles gave out and he literally couldn't control them to keep running, to a cane to a walker and barely able to maneuver in his own home.

We spent an evening with him. Steve sat with him on the couch and they talked running. And Alfredo misses running. He spends a couple hours a day in meditation, and when he meditates, he goes to the trails and the mountains in his head. He said this helps him get through every day.

I don't like to be morbid and worry about the future. But on the other side of that, I don't think it's a bad idea to live every moment, enjoy every moment, celebrate every moment.

I'm making a bigger deal of birthdays. I'm making a point of making the people in my life know they are appreciated and special.

And I will enjoy every step I get to run. Every painful step of a marathon. Every painful minute of a track workout with my crazy trainer.

Love hard. Enjoy everything as much as possible.