Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I was talking to Steve last night. He said he thinks blogs are work. He hasn't tried blogging, I don't think he's ever filled his text field on a text message or sent an e-mail longer than two sentences since he finished college. He hates to read. I told him I knew that, it was probably too much work to even read one. He told me he reads mine. Not all the time, and never the training or Whitney ones (he lives those). And he told me it was good stuff. Made my day. He does something he doesn't enjoy for me. What a guy.
I'm sitting in the waiting room at the doc while Nate gets a sports physical. We had lunch and opened a bank account for him. Taking a healthy kid to the doctor. Can I tell you how much I love this boy? He bought me lunch today. We are filling out college paperwork, bank accounts, etc., and when the nurse called him back he handed me his "old school" gameboy and pokemon game.
Hope everyone enjoys the fall weather, looks like most of the country has it, and know that I'm praying for you. Each one of you that reads this. I may not know, but God does, and he knows I meant you.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Week 17

I had a bad weekend. Through Friday I did okay with my workouts. Saturday, not so much. Had a 24 mile run I needed to get in this weekend, but Friday night was was bad, and I didn't have it in my for Saturday morning. So I figured I'd do it Saturday night or Sunday. But over the weekend I tried a new recipe and I'm very allergic to the ingredients. Hives. Eyes swollen shut, ears swollen shut, itchy burning skin. So Saturday afternoon and evening was spent drugged up on Benadryl. Sunday morning at 5:00 a.m. I woke up itching, so I took more Benadryl. Got up for church and one eye was swollen shut, they other half way. I still thought I could run this afternoon, but 2.5 miles and I was done. I'm still itching. I'm hoping by tomorrow it will all be out of my system and Tuesday I can get back into the swing of things.

3 weeks till marathon. I'm excited.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Conversations with Whitney

Whitney is bumped today for a conversation with Nate.

Setting: Wednesday night after church

Me: I didn’t see you come up for communion.
Nate: Yeah, I passed on it tonight.
Me: Sin in your life?
Nate: Nah, I had that triple burger at Freddy’s and just didn’t think my stomach could take anything else.

This is our non-denom communion, except our crackers are even smaller.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I'm Thankful

Sometimes I find myself feeling like nothing good is happening. Life can be hard, but when I think of all the wonderful things God has blessed me with, how can I think nothing good is going on? So I have taken stock of my life and things (outside the ordinary like health and family, etc.) I'm thankful for today. Tomorrow will be different (except for the diet coke) and I won't share my list every day, but I have decided with my devotions to add thinking of 10 things I'm thankful for. They can be things I enjoy or that make my life easier, (or maybe harder) but that's the plan, and then I'm going to thank God for them.

1. Oil of Olay and all products made by them including but not limited to: firming night cream, simply ageless foundation, moisturizer, I’m a fan.
2. My co-worker Ken. He is knowledgeable and helpful, an excellent combination in a person.
3. Diet Coke. This would be on every “thankful” list I make.
4. Running water. I thought of this in the shower this morning. What a great country we live in.
5. The Public Library. A building full of books that are free to read.
6. Corrective lenses.
7. Bacon wrapped filets. Meat wrapped in meat. Yum.
8. The availability of medicine. Allergy, cold, sinus, flu, tylenol, etc.
9. Music
10. The waste management truck that comes and removes my garbage every week.

(Thursdays are a good day for me to "count my blessings" and list all the things I'm thankful for because it is my least favorite day of the week. So today I am thankful for my husband and his commitment to God.)

Monday, September 21, 2009

My Weekend

Steve and I went to a movie the other night. This is rare, we don’t movie often, but I had free tickets. The movie was bad. On the way out, we passed a theater showing this one. (I’m sure it’s bad too, we won’t waste our money to see it.) Steve stood in the aisle and took this picture, we both found it funny, and I find it someone accurate to my life. NOT IN A BAD WAY. Steve is not domineering or selfish or hard to get along with at all. He is a very wonderful person, which makes it easy and enjoyable to make everything about him. (If you want more Steve and who doesn’t? here’s a link to him singing in church. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JBkLNowDsw

This is my nephew Jeff running cross country on Saturday morning, it’s a 5K. A fun thing about cross country, it is one big race made up of many smaller races. The sprint at the finish between Jeff and the kid behind him was great to watch. And my brother is in the front row of this picture watching Jeff cross the finish line, with a stop watch.

And one more from my half marathon, l-r: my friend Sheila, me, my friend Barb and her running partner Debbie.

I’m bored, so I’m going to give you the breakdown of my weekend. HANG WITH ME, there is a point. Friday night, dinner at Outback Steakhouse, movie theater (see above) and Freddy’s for ice cream. Home at 9:30, pull in the driveway just in time for Whitney’s call saying Lolit’s mom can’t pick them up from Sportsworld (2 miles from Freddy’s) can I come get them. Back home at 10:30. To Walmart for toilet paper and allergy pills. Home by 11:00. Call from Nate, football game is over, can they go eat wings and watch sports center at Buffalo Wild Wings? Be home by 12:00. Home by 12:00, girlfriend doesn’t have to be home till 1:30 so they watch TV with me and tell me all about the game. This is pretty cool, and I was thrilled, but my eyes were pretty heavy. Saturday morning, up for my nephews cross country meet. Home by 11:00, ran 5 fast miles with Steve, quick shower and lunch, attend wedding at 2:00 p.m., beautiful wedding, good friends, good dinner, leave at 4:30 to get Steve to church for rehearsal for worship service. Home from service at 8:00. Whitney home from fair at 11:00. Nate home from work at 12:30. Sunday morning’s pre-race routine: medical tape on two toes, 50 SPF on my face, 3 layers of 20 SPF chap stick on my lips, hoping that equaled 60 SPF and my running leggings with the zipper pocket to carry my snacks. Vaseline smeared under my arms, extra deodorant (doesn’t help) no make up and two ponytail holders to keep my heavy hair out of my face, this requires an additional four bobby pins. A high protein NO FIBER breakfast, an energy supplement, allergy pills, and $1.06 for the diet coke at McDonald’s on the way home. Ensured Steve’s alarm was set so he wouldn’t be late for church and Nate’s alarm was set so he wouldn’t be late for church (the 11:00 service, what can I say, he’s a 17 year old boy). Moved hamburger and chicken from the freezer to the fridge for lunch and dinner and put away a load of towels. In addition, my weekend included taking a tire to Walmart to have a nail removed and have the tire repaired and then I put it back on the car myself, because Steve wouldn’t be home till after dark. Four loads of laundry, cooked three meals, packed two lunches, did the dishes and worked my paying job from home for two hours.
This may sound like a crazy weekend schedule. But honestly, it’s normal. Except usually I run further than 18 miles in a weekend. I regularly think I need to simplify. So I try to decide what activities need to go. Work, definitely. It gets in the way of my fun and sleep. Chores and housework also get in the way of my fun. Paying bills? I would much rather spend my money at the mall. Spending time with my kids when it fits their schedule needs to change, if they want to talk to me, they can come home at decent hour so I can go to bed at 10:30. I don’t need to wait up for them to hear about their day when they come in. They can show a little consideration. (Any mothers of teenagers laughing at that one so hard they wet their pants?) And movies and dinner with my husband aren’t really necessary are they? I’m sure there are other women who would go with him. I don’t need to go to church, I been going for 41 years. I know the Bible and all the songs, and they are also on CD’s so I can sing them in the car and at home.
This is a recipe for disaster. So while I try to schedule in downtime for my whole family, even if it means going out to dinner at a restaurant known for slow service, I do it. If it means being a little sleep deprived to make my family’s life better, I will do it. I know God wants me to be a godly woman, a godly wife, and a godly mother. I will do it. Why? Because it’s ALL ABOUT STEVE!
Having said that, tonight we’re eating leftovers for dinner and I’m going to bed at 10:00. At the absolute latest. Unless the Cardinals game is televised, and then I’ll go to bed when it’s over. Priorities.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Week 16

My last 6 training runs have been tough. I added a degree of difficulty, Steve. His easy run pushes me. While I'm panting and sweating and unable to catch my breath, he is running along next to me...SINGING!!! While we are running that frustrates me, but shortly after I revert back to being extremely proud of him, and so very thankful he runs with me. Today I ran the Wichita Half Marathon, and reaped the benefits of training with him. I started with my usual race philosophy of starting at the back of the pack and conserving energy. I ran better than I would have imagined. I did add 5-6 minutes to my time with a stop at the port-a-john at mile 5, well worth it, and had to take my insoles out of my shoes at mile 6 cause they had rubbed quarter sized blisters. Even with that, I finished 15 minutes faster than my half marathon in June, one week into my training. I also beat my goal today by 4 minutes. The best feeling though, was at mile 10 being able to speed up. At mile 11 being able to speed up. At mile 12 being able to speed up. And at mile 13 being able to full out sprint, and really sprint, (sometimes I can work harder to go the same speed I was previously) to the finish line. Had Steve been there he would have told me I had too much left, I should have left more on the course. And he would have been right. Thanks to a friends husband for the "action" picture above.
Marathon is in 4 weeks, and I have one long training run before then, but a lot of short runs and cross training to get me ready. I'm excited. And now I'm tired. So I'm going to go sit on the couch and let my mind turn to mush watching TV while my kids nap.


Friday, September 18, 2009

Conversations with Whitney

Setting: Doctor's office for sports physical. My mom had picked Whitney up from school and I met them in the exam room. When I walk in...

Whitney: I have to have two shots. Tetanus and for tapeworm.
Me: laughter
Me: more laughter
Me : explanation of tapeworm
Whitney: Good thing I'm getting a shot. Wouldn't want one of those.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I have been trying to think of good giveaway to show you all how much I appreciate you, so I asked Whitney tonight for ideas. Without hesitation she said "A trip to Hawaii. I'd even read your blog for that." It's not going to be anything that great, unfortunately, because Whitney spends all my money. But I will be back with a give away in the very near future. I have a couple things in mind. Hope you all have a great rest of the week!.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I checked my facebook one day last week and saw where a sweet teenager I know from church had commented why do teachers have to give tests on the same day. Felt kind of sorry for her. Little further down saw a good friend had posted that she had been back to the dentist to have tooth "re-drilled" finally pain free, her husband had been in a car accident, car was totaled, but he was okay. This is after having an appendectomy performed on one of her kids that week. Makes me wonder if having a test in every "subject" in high school on the same day is preparing us for the tests we face later in life. I feel like Steve and I have a test in multiple subjects every day as adults. We have a test in Economics, how we are going to spend our money, wisely or foolishly. We have a test in Sociology as we try deal with difficult situations with others we are in contact with, whether family or work or friends. Physical Education is a daily thing, are we going to exercise and eat right and take care of our body or are we going to fail that test and just sit on the couch and eat donuts? (I would rock a test in donuts.) We have a daily test in Bible, are we going to spend time studying God’s Word or are we going to blow that one off because the results of that test are rarely visible to everyone else? Drama? Ohhhh, I pass that one. Home Economics, or should I be correct and call it Family and Consumer Sciences, I think that’s the new name, they just call it FACS at the school. I could go on (and on and on, if you’ve read my blog more than once you know that), but I’m stopping here because I can’t figure out a way to bring Science into this. Or Pottery.
I passed a couple of these tests last week, one in Sociology, took the high road (Hey Wendi, did you see me there that 30 minutes?) The donut one, I took Whitney’s recipe and made donuts and ate them, so I passed that one as well. Economics? Passed that one, made money stretch further than it’s supposed to, of course, I give credit to God for that miracle. Got my feelings hurt and sulked like a teenage girl for an evening, which means I passed Drama, but failed miserable in Sociology. I failed more than that one though, in Home Economics, how many times can you feed your family leftovers, sandwiches, Freddy’s or easy mac in a week and still pass? As adults we don’t get graded with numbers and percents, it’s pretty much pass/fail. There is no make up test or summer school. You just fail. My kid’s grades are available for my viewing on-line. They are updated every week. I can look at the detail and see what assignments are missing or have a low score. I take it one step further and I started keeping a graph of Nate’s grades his freshman year. Because an 80% is a B and it’s a good score, but if it dropped from a 95% last week that’s not good. If it’s up from a 70%, it’s great. Here’s Nate’s for the year. (Have to explain, he had pop quiz first day of Pre-Calc/Trig and Physics. Didn’t do so well, but the first day of class? That’s rough.) The straight line is a C average and I expect everything to be above that. The other straight line going into the future is his cumulative GPA. What you can’t see is his 110% in Pottery.
I laugh about this, but can’t seem to stop doing it. My college roommate still tells me I’m obsessive (actually she uses different terminology, and she is correct). As a working mom I don’t volunteer at the school. I know the coach of their sports teams. I don’t know teachers. My kids are extremely independent, and they quit bringing papers home for me to read a long time ago. I know they are both smarter than I am. (My "Conversations with Whitney" posts may not prove that, especially this coming Friday’s but it is true). I don’t understand half what they are doing. Curses on getting old and losing mental faculties, dementia at 41.
What if someone was keeping a grade card on me like the one above? What if I could see that my P.E. score had gone from a 70% last June to 150% this August? Would it show that my Sociology grade had dropped from an 80% to a 40% because I have made these changes in P.E.? If I could look at my grade card weekly and see where I was last week and where I am this week, would it keep me from sliding from an 80% to a 40%? Would knowing that someone was monitoring me keep me on target? What if I had to sit through a parent teacher conference discussing my performance? My heart just started beating faster thinking about it.
Colossians 3:17 (NIV) says "whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus". It would be difficult to fail if everything was done "in the name of the Lord Jesus".

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Week 15

I'm sitting here with jelly legs from a 21 mile bike ride with Steve. We had 5-15 mph winds. I think it was closer to 15, but I'm no meteorologist. Steve, Sheila and I all decided this was a good week to run less miles. For me, it's a pattern. I can do longer runs and push myself 3 weeks in a row and then I don't have any gas for the next week. So I just go with it. I ran 12.5 miles this week. I did speed work earlier this week, cause I would really like to get faster and then a 4 mile run just to keep my legs in shape. Saturday morning Steve and I ran 6 miles. He hadn't ran all week so he needed to get the blood flowing so his easy run is my sprint, so I ran my usual over all time, but did it with sprints and recovery walks, which is good for me. I did more cross training than normal to make up for the miles I didn't run and did my strength training. I am pleased to say that in 15 weeks of marathon training I have stayed with it, and while I have missed workouts and missed mileage I attempted, I have stayed consistently with it and there are so many more positives in this process than negatives. I have a hard time feeling upset with my performance ever. I get discouraged at times, but overall I know how far I have come and that is my true competition. To be better than I was. A friend of mine told me her husband said that her 2009 could kick her 1999 butt. That's what matters. William Faulkner once said "Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself".

Here's my new shoes and socks. I've ran in them several times and I am no longer a Nike girl. These Under Armor's rock. And were half the price. I also just noticed my lovely black toenail in the picture. They haven't fallen off yet, I keep taping them before I run.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Conversations with Whitney

Setting: Valley Center high school for my friend's daughter's volleyball game

Me: We should do a cheer (joking, Sheila and I were cheerleaders together in high school)
Sheila: Laughing
Whitney: If you do, I'm going to go find someone else to sit with and pretend she's my mom.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Life Lessons

I am always so thankful when an opportunity to discuss important life decisions with my kids comes up in a totally unplanned way. I had one of these experiences last night. One of my son’s close friends made some decisions that have changed his life. He is looking at a much different senior year and his plans for his life are now different. What he wants is still possible, but will be much harder. I got to talk with Nate about the situation, and I was so proud of his thoughts on the situation and how he feels about his friend. (Right here I have to give a shout out to our youth pastor Sean and all the years Nate has heard him talk about reaching out to the kids who need it and being their friend, because in this case, Nate got it right.) Along with that though, is the chance to reinforce morality, and making the right choice, the hard choice, and not entering into adult life before you are prepared. I know there is not an age when this happens that it’s different for all kids. I just think high school shouldn’t be full of adult worries. It should be about football games and grades and friends. Parenthood, it’s an adventure.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I Want It All - NOW

I was reading a very familiar passage of Scripture this morning, Joshua 1 – 14. This covers a lot of stories of Joshua. The one that stuck out to me this morning was the battle of Jericho. God had told them that all the spoils were to be given to him. No one was to keep any for themselves. Achan disobeyed this order and took gold, silver and robes and buried them in his tent. When Israel went to fight Ai, they were defeated and this was a battle that should have been a cake walk for them. Joshua went to God about this defeat and God told him someone had disobeyed. Joshua went tribe by tribe, family by family till they found the man who had disobeyed and he was stoned.
Pretty gruesome story. Destroying cities, burning everything to the ground, putting all the spoils in the temple. Killing anyone who didn’t comply with what God commanded. In our politically correct society today, there are so many things people would find wrong with this. I’m going to leave the PC stuff alone, but really thought hard about what is “hidden” in my life. (Or what I think is hidden, but most of you see it and I’m only fooling myself). I know God sees it. And that should sadden me the most. I’m doing kind of a mental check list today and there are some things I need to dig up and give to God. It’s not the stuff great testimonies are made of. I’m not giving up drugs or alcohol or pornography or dreaming of other men. But I am dealing with the same old things that drag me down all the time. Discouragement, discontentment, worry, things that I shouldn’t let pull me down. And maybe these aren’t all the time things, just certain areas of my life, certain situations, but that doesn’t make it better. Romans 8:37-39 Amplified says "37 Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors [a]and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us. 38For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things [b]impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, 39Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I am more than a conqueror, so why do I feel defeat? Things impending and threatening, things to come, none of this can separate me from God’s love, and none can take victory away. This all made a song come to mind. Don’t ask me how my mind gets from Romans 8:37 to the music of Queen, but the mind is a terrible thing. (I think I left something off that quote). Anyway, I was a big Queen fan, and this song shows why we suffer from discouragement and discontentment. The title, “I Want it All” pretty much sums it up.

Adventure seeker on an empty street
Just an alley creeper light on his feet
A young fighter screaming with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can't see a way out
It ain’t much I’m asking I heard him say
Gotta find me a future move out of my way
Chorus - I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now
I want it all I want it all I want it all and I want it now
Listen all you people come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine
People do you hear me just give me the sign
It ain’t much I’m asking if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth
I’m a man with a one track mind So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where’s and whys and living Lies
So I’m living it all (yes I’m living it all)And I’m giving it all (and I’m giving it all)
It ain’t much I’m asking if you want the truth, here’s to the future
Hear the cry of youth

I get a kick out of the line, “ain’t much I’m asking…I want it all”. We don’t ask for much, do we? The “ALL” that I want? It’s different than it used to be. I want it all, but I want all of what God has for me. I want my “ALL” to be in line with what His “ALL” is. That means changing my dreams (even though I don’t fit in the youth category) to align with His. Sometimes I let my own dreams and wants get in the way.

And the story of Queen's lead singer, Freddy Mercury and wanting it all and getting it all according to the worlds standards? He had a very sad ending to a life of sin.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Week 14

I made it, new longest distance ever! 21.15 miles on Saturday. I'm pretty tired today. I was sick all last weekend, ran a fever Saturday through Monday, which means that I ran 15.17 miles with a fever. I knew I didn't feel good, but also I knew I didn't really want to run, so when I should have listened to my body and didn't it wasn't the right thing to do. Next time I will know better to determine whether it's a mental or physical issue and not just get out of bed and hit the ground running. The fever had an affect on my training all week, I didn't get all my workouts in that I would have liked, but overall with the way I felt and church Wednesday and Thursday night (which is unusual) I did okay. And did I mention my 21.15 miles? My average time was 12 min 45 second miles with walking. At 12 miles I noticed my legs were burning (okay, I noticed sooner) and my very understanding and compassionate running partner willingly gave to my request to run 4 minutes and walk 1. I can't tell you how many times I was running and saying in my head "please be close to 4 minutes". We eventually changed it to run 3 walk 2 minutes, but overall, time was still decent. We were 4 blocks from her home when I my toes started burning. I told her to run on and I'd walk. I stopped and took my socks off and then I was fine and finished running. It was a great feeling!

Happy Labor Day everyone, hope you have a nice holiday and a great week.

Friday, September 4, 2009

I went back to school

I went to parent swap day for Nate today. High school never changes. The players are different, but it’s still the same. There were the football players in their jerseys cause it’s game day. There were cheerleaders and pompon girls in their uniforms. There was the kid in the Iron Maiden tee shirt covered by a Led Zeppelin sweat shirt. There was the too-beautiful-to-be-true foreign exchange student. There was the teacher who tried to be cool but was more like a friendly puppy. There were two teachers who really were cool, but didn’t try and didn’t care. There was the teacher who had complete and utter control of his class, even the parents were scared to act out. Over all, I found the day enjoyable (after I found the vending machine that actually had DIET coke in it).
There was the football player who nodded at me and called me ma’am. I guess I am old enough to be is mom. There were 3 times I was told Nate looked just like me. There was the cute little girl that loved my hair and wanted to know if it was natural and was going to try and get my exact color, but wouldn’t be able to get my waves. There was the cute little girl who is making the mouse trap powered car in a group with Nate in physics. Nate made her get the first detention she’s ever had. She was 30 seconds late from lunch when she went with him. There were 4 of them but she was the only one who got a detention. There was Coach Thomason asking about my 8th grade daughter he coached in club volleyball. There was Coach Wheeler also asking about Whitney, his daughter and Whit are good friends. Madison walked me to Government, my nephew Jeff gave me a hug in the hallway. Anytime a teenage boy gives you a hug it’s a good day. Sam asked me how my summer was. Khary called me Mrs. Welch and walked me to pottery class. I was writing my grocery list in English Comp/College Reading and the teacher called on me to see what I had come up with on the writing project we were doing. So not cool. Quick thinking saved me. Nancy (another mom) and I couldn’t figure out how to turn the TI-85 calculator on in Pre-calc. I told her about my English/grocery list assignment and didn’t realize the boy on my other side was in Nate’s English class. He laughed at me. Nate’s study hall teachers commented on the Yankees win last night and then looked at me and said don’t say anything bad about the Yankees, I said of course not, and he said, Cardinals fan, and I said of course, and he went to his desk and gave me an article he had pulled out of a magazine for Nate about how you have to be brain damaged to be a Cubs fan. I ran into a couple of friends in the hall, Jolene, Meredith and Kathy. I love those three ladies. The weights coach told me Nate worked hard in weights and enjoyed class and was a good kid he liked having him around. His teachers all knew who he was, what he was interested in, and the majority of them were very personable. He seems to have good teachers. Best of all though, was Will, a friend of Nates and a fellow senior. When I went to first hour, English, Will told me where to sit and told me Nate is one of his favorite people. Then in 8th hour, pottery, Will pulled his chair up to the table with me and sat with me and talked at first about Nate, but then about his guitar and his band and his life. Will was wearing a Candy Land tee. I don’t know Will, first time I ever met him. Nate likes him. I liked him, and can see why Nate does.
It’s a hard time in life, growing into independence. I appreciate teachers. Several times I heard it said today about making good choices. In life now and next year at college, talked about how important this time period is in your life and the decisions you make. To those teachers, and the ones who know my kid and what he likes to do and what he’s working for, you may never read this, but thank you so much. To all the teachers making a difference in kids lives, thank you.

Conversations with Whitney

Setting: My living room

Whitney walks from her bedroom to the kitchen

Nate: Ewww
Whitney: Shut up
Nate: Ugly
Whitney: Shut up

And then, they both laugh.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Is someone watching?

One very icy day I stepped out of my car and with one foot still in the car the one on the ice went out from under me and I turtled. One foot over my head, in a skirt. The first thing I did after I got up? Looked around to make sure no one saw me. I had whiplash and a mild concussion where my head slammed into the concrete, and a big bruise on my hip. Was that what I was concerned about? No, I worried someone saw me. Last winter we had a snowstorm come through. In typical Kansas weather fashion, it was 50 degrees and dry in the morning. Storm was supposed to come through that evening. At 3:30 I’m in the parking lot in a hoodie and fingerless weight lifting gloves (just glad I had left them in the car) scraping my windshield with a CD case. And hoping nobody saw me. I’m a native for crying out loud. I know better.
Just this last summer I wrecked my bike. Wiped out. Dog ran in front of me. I was on the trail, not cement, which was a good thing. I was cut and scraped and bruised all down my left side. Left temple, left cheek, left shoulder, arm, both knees and the outside of my left leg, thigh and calf. Also banged up both palms. I sat up on the ground, didn’t pop up as fast as I would have liked, and made sure everything was still working, and was so glad no one saw me.
How many times do we hear a story about someone that thought no one saw what they were doing, or worse yet a video? Think of all the things it’s embarrassing to be seen doing. Picking your nose. Pulling your underwear out of your butt. Your skirt blowing up on a windy day. Or that little impromptu dance that you wouldn’t want even your husband or kids to see. I won’t even talk about hoping people don’t see how your kids behave.
On the opposite side of that, what about when you do something well? That doesn’t bother me. When I do something good, I don’t look around to see if anyone is watching. I’m just happy I got it right. Steve told me that Saturday when he was running home when he passed 26.2 miles on his garmin he put his arms over his head in victory (that’s marathon distance, first time he ran that far). This was on a fairly busy street around lunch time, but he didn’t care if people wondered why he was waving his arms over his head. He was in the moment. If I had been there I would have cheered for him. I take Nate to the park and throw soft toss for him. For the baseball illiterate, uninformed, or just don’t care, that means I squat 5 feet from him and “soft toss” the ball between knee and hip high and he knocks the crap out of it. (Hasn’t hit me yet, but when he does, I’ll look around and hope no one saw it). This park is at the police training center. They come out for break while we are there most nights. Nate hasn’t got a clue they are out there. In true athlete form, he only hears the voices inside his head (watch “For the Love of the Game”) or his coach. That’s it. I hear the police trainees. Oooooh, he got ahold of that one. That one’s over the fence! That one’s over the fence and the street. Wonder where he goes to school? This is Heights district. And so on. He has never noticed they are out there, and unlike me, he’s doing something well.
What I’ve really been thinking about in regards to this is not what would I do different if I knew people were watching (hopefully fall down less) but if people only see me in one element, do they know the real me? If someone that knows me is watching me does it match up with what they already know? Am I the same at work I am at home and church and the grocery store? Am I the same at my kids events? Biggest question is “am I real”? What should I change? Because the reality is, someone is always watching.