Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Proverbs 31

I try to read Proverbs every day. I don’t always, but I read whatever Proverb lines up with the day of the month. Which means I only read Proverbs 31 seven times a year. It’s full of good stuff. I don't usually feel like a Proverbs 31 woman. I'm a spaz, and I know it, but I keep trying. Different portions stick out to me from time to time. Today, these are the thoughts my rambling mind pulled out of these scriptures.

15 – she provides food for her family. I know they didn’t have McDonald’s or Taco Bell in that day, but that does count, doesn’t it?

17 – her arms are strong for her tasks. It’s scriptural that I go to the Y and lift weights. My arms need to be strong.

21 – when it snows, she has no fear for her household. I think I need to remember this everytime I put away coats and jackets. I am thankful we have warm outerwear.

30 – a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. I talked with my sister the other night about the holy and just side of God. I am so glad he’s loving and forgiving and merciful. But I don’t ever want to forget that he is a God of justice, and that means there are consequences to my actions and for my sin. He paid for it. It’s forgiven. I am free.

But the writer of the Proverbs, believed by many to be Solomon (also known as King Lemuel??) learned this from his mother, Bathsheba. And she saw the “dark side” to use Peggy’s words of God as his justice met David’s actions. David and Bathsheba were forgiven for their sin. But they suffered consequences for their actions.

I don’t want to be guilty of ignoring this side of God. I want to fear the Lord and his power. I want to remember he is a just God. Just because I have the “fire insurance” that keeps me out of hell, it is not reason to live like the devil, as my mom would say.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

In my corner

Three zumba classes...I'm no longer lost. However, when I get to a sequence I know and can do well, I want to keep doing it while the class moves on. Two short runs, 2.5 miles of speedwork and a 15 mile long run on the trail.

First club volleyball tournament. Whitney played great. You know I'll be sharing pictures. Team needs some work, but show a lot of promise. Coach Joe Barber, large black man, fireman when he is not coaching volleyball, looked terribly cute in his black, red and white polka dot headband that matched the girls hair ribbons.

Whitney has a fever blister. Ruining her life.

I ate the biggest, fattest, sweetest grapefruit I've had in months. Worth talking about, it was that good.

Nate had to file a tax return for the first time ever. He made way more money than I thought he did last year.

Had dinner and Starbucks after with my sister.

I just complained about doing dishes. (There's only three of us where there used to be seven, and yet I complained). Steve was very helpful. He told me to throw them away and buy new ones.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Sydney is home

She is home...praise God!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I have facebook envy

The other day I logged onto facebook and saw everyone posting about how great their

Marriage, etc.
Was. Is.

I also saw one that said I am happy, one that gave advice on how to have a great marriage (it was stupid advice, but still…) one that was before and after weight loss pictures and a “buy my product and you can look like me too”. I always want to ask what happens when I quit your product? Do I gain 50 pounds back? Because that’s my experience. No matter how you lose your weight, if you don’t stay with it it all comes back. Whether it’s pills, eating prepackaged Styrofoam, or my way of counting calories and running my but off.

This will eventually be the reason I terminate facebook. I know that no one has a perfect life. Or maybe I am the only one who really does have problems. I have a dang good life but it’s far from perfect. I guess I’m too much of a realist. I don’t want to post a picture of dinner, like the grilled chicken and squash marsala that I made that was as beautiful as it was tasty, because I would feel the obligation to post the follow up meals the next two days. Fazoli’s and a bowl of cheerios.

I had a good 13 mile run. I just would feel that telling you all about my good 13 mile run would require that I also let you know that at mile 4 I realized it was lunch time and I hadn’t even had breakfast yet so I ran in Quik Trip and had a donut. With caramel frosting. And discussed running and running tights with the cutest little 9 year old that was willing to take up long distance running for purple tie dyed running tights. And at mile 10 I stopped for a drink. At Starbucks. I was needing energy, I was cold, it was 32 degrees out. It helped immensely, providing caffeine, sugar and warmth. Real runners might judge me for this and yet by my standards it was a good run…

My marriage? Sometimes you can do all the right things and still have bad things happen. But Sunday morning leading worship with Steve and he prays at the end of the worship set before the sermon and I can hear and feel the emotion in his voice, and I know we are good. I know in spite of everything we’ve lived through or maybe because of everything we’ve lived through, we’re tougher, we’re stronger and we’re good. We are where we want to be, together.

My kids? Single moms; divorce imminent for one; one taking a semester break from college trying to figure out life and why things happen and make some changes for the good; adoption for a grandchild coming up; and let’s not forget my little cyber bully. Yet I love them fiercely, passionately, and can give you a mile long list of good qualities about each one of the five.

Anyway, I spouted off that I had facebook envy. Everyone seemed to have their lives together and I remain me. I admit I’m a spaz. And I got an outpouring of “I’m a spaz too”. Paraphrasing, but you get the idea. Letting me know that I’m not the only one that doesn’t have it all figured out. One friend says If I'm not me, then we aren't we, and I love Carrie to death, so I'm keeping that we. One friend simply commented, “hello? Have you met me?” Yes, Elia, and I love you. Another one said we can be a mess together and if Kimberly's a mess, yes please, I'll have some of that. One dear friend posted a picture of her monster filled dust bunny just to help me feel less alone. Teresa’s so cool.

How awesome is my herd! The comments didn’t even include the friends who contacted me outside this virtual world to let me know not how awesome I am, but how unawesome they are too. I loved that. I didn’t need to be built up, I needed to know there were other women who don’t have it together either.

There is one more I don’t get. I can pray in front of people. Bible Study, corporate worship, before meals, with my family. I can share my prayer life. But as a facebook status? Typing out some beautiful prayer on facebook? If I'm typing prayers ine should be “dear God, don’t let me post this…”

Maybe it’s because Jesus hasn’t friended me yet?

However, He does follow me on twitter.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


I got an alarming text Monday night, a prayer request from my friend Sheila. A close family member is missing. Last seen Monday night getting into a green van after school. On the south side of Wichita. She's a 16 year old sophomore.
Sydney is the girl in the front, her cousin Madison is also in the picture. Remember when I hit rewind and went to see my friend in his band back from the college days? Sydney is his daughter.

I would like to ask you all to pray for her safe return. At this point, no one knows where she is, who she's with, why she is gone. No one has heard a word from her since Monday.

Thank you.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Of opossums and pills

I woke up late this morning. The effects of too much weekend, early wake ups on Saturday and Sunday, the 13 mile run, the zumba class…

Add to that my stress shoulder is stressed again. I was in pain and disgruntled about having to call the doctor and get a refill of my muscle relaxer or next step to the chiropractor when I found my prescription bottle. Still had two pills. And six refills left. So I took a pill and called the pharmacy. And was relieved that she gave me six refills for a year because it let me know this was something the doctor knew wouldn’t go away immediately. They don’t make me drowsy, but I sleep like I’m dead. And while it may not be dreamless, no dreams woke me or kept me awake, at least not that I remember.

But if I could figure out how to dream in full length novels I would have a writing career.

Back to my late morning. As I finish up with hair and make up I think to peek in Whitney’s room and she is still NOT OUT OF BED! I raise my voice (yell), tell her she has 15 minutes to be ready (she doesn’t make it) and head to the kitchen to pack lunches. I pack both hers and mine and throw some extra crap in hers so she can eat it for breakfast or between classes because I think she has late lunch today, not till 1:00. Then I go to take the trash out to the curb. Usually I do this on Sunday nights, but it was so windy that it blows the trash cart over. And my trash cart is full and heavy, but it was just that windy. The bungee cord that holds the lid down is broken so when the cart blows over the trash spills. The trash bags are all securely fastened, but we live really close to nature and the wild animals (skunks, opossums and raccoons) rip into the bags for our garbage. After Steve and Whitney watched the episode of “Infested” (I happened to be in the room) where the opossums took over the girls apartment and she ended up in the hospital with typhus I’m still a little freaked out, I hate opossums, so I waited till this morning to drag the trash out.

Twenty-five minutes after my fifteen minute deadline Whitney makes it to the car. I go back in to get her lunch and grab an extra pony tail holder while I’m in there because it takes two to hold her 15 pounds of hair.

And then...I get a notification on facebook (Shout out to Belinda for the encouraging words, much needed and appreciated) “Good morning, I don’t want you to have FACEBOOK envy. (a post for another time) You are going to have a special week because you are a daughter of the King. Keep pressing on to know Him. Love you."

What a great reminder.

Also got a reminder from Whit that I’m out of altoids and that dad saves the last one for her.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

In my corner

11 weeks till marathon. Yesterday morning I told Steve I want to run the marathon April 7, I just don't want to do the training. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way so after worship team practice I ran home from church, the long way. 13 miles or so. It was cold and a little bit windy, but not too bad. Every week the longer distances get a little easier.

Whitney had a couple of scrimmage volleyball games. She's getting to play front row as a hitter as well as her back row defense position. It's fun watching her again.

Found out this week that Gracepoint is growing and they will be adding a third service in March. I'm thrilled about that, love to see the growth and lives changing. BUT...I will most likely have to give up being part of the worship team because I can't spend six hours at church on Sunday with two hours on Saturday for practice. Also, my voice is shot after two services today. (Screaming back up for Steve on Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" probably was a big part of that, good thing Gil was screaming along with me). Will have to decide if I can manage it on a limited basis or not. My calling revolves around being wife and mom, always has. Not the most recognized and rewarded callings, (especially in my world) but one I take seriously none the less.

Fuel pump went out of Steve's car, bummer. We were blessed to have the money for a four digit repair. And a great friend that loaned us his old truck while Steve's car was in the shop.

It's been cold here. Cold and dry. Which makes me itchy. Not complaining, just telling you I'm itchy. I have lotion.

I miss my boy.

Hope everyone has a week full of blessings.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Conversations with Whitney

Sometimes things happen that I can’t control or see coming that make me really sad. Like the little gray dog that ran in front of my car on K96 last night. At 70 mph there is nothing you can do but run over the little gray dog. It’s still bothering me.

Before that though, Whitney had a volleyball scrimmage game. Whitney plays with Denae.
Des came to the game. This is Denae’s brother. Here he is, 6 years ago with Nate, Whitney’s brother. (interesting to note, the boy on the other side of Des is Nate's college roommate).
And Whitney’s brother can’t come. Then Des ran out on the court during warm ups to show Whitney something on his phone. And she laughed and pushed him. Except for the fact he’s a couple inches shorter, wears his clean baseball cap forward with a flat bill (Nate’s would be dirty, ragged, curved bill and backward) and he’s black, it could've been Nate. Des was even wearing a Jayhawk hoodie. I didn't see the memory/thought coming any more than I saw the little gray dog. Does this ever happen to you? Something triggers a memory? A song, driving by a location, seeing someone? It happens to me ALL THE TIME!

I have a 19 year old college sophomore that is totally self sufficient. I am proud of him. But I miss him. Whitney misses him. I am incredibly thankful for Des that treats Whitney like a little sister, like he does Denae to some extent. It doesn’t replace Nate, but it helps, at least for her.

And a brief conversation with Denae...

Setting: dinner at my house before the basketball game Tuesday night

Me: Dinner's ready if you guys are hungry
Denae: (walking in the kitchen and looking at dinner)
Mama Baker threw down! (I cooked)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Another weird one

In last night’s dream I was a modern day female Moses. I was trying to get the children of Israel from the three story house they were living in to Moab by way of the trail that runs behind our house next to the Arkansas River.

I had to provide them all with new backpacks and sandles and teach them how to use buckles and zippers. I also gave them all water bottles because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get water from the rock with my staff, as I didn’t have a staff.

We were being chased by the ultra-marathon runners that were running 100 miles.

I’m not sure what they were going to do if they caught us, force GU and Gatorade on us? But we could walk across the Arkansas River on dry ground right now.

Last time I eat a Panera double fudge brownie before bed.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Just Blah

I've kind of been in a slump lately. Nothing new or bad happened, just been dragging. Not physically, I'm healthy, just blah.

Today reading of Proverbs gave me these few thoughts (and several more, Proverbs is great stuff), from Proverbs 18

1 A recluse is self-indulgent, snarling at every sound principle of conduct.

I really REALLY don't want to be reclusive, selfish, or ignoring wise counsel or even common sense.

14 The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear it if the spirit is crushed?

Very true...value those around you, don't crush their spirit, in fact, try and build them up.

24 There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Too bad you don't always know who your real friends are in time...

Saturday, January 14, 2012

My frozen fat ass, literally

Friday night was a fun experience. Steve and I left Wichita at 3:00 p.m. to drive to Olathe to run Coleen's fun run.

It was colder than it has been, but that didn't make us think twice about going. We had decided we would go when we thought Whitney would have a volleyball tournament in Topeka this weekend so we were driving almost that far anyway. Her tournament was changed, canceled and then reinstated but we had already as a team decided not to go.

We got to Olathe and grabbed some food at Subway and went to the trail. There was a house that was used as an aid station so you could actually leave your stuff inside and get out of the cold and socialize.

Most people pick their running attire based on temperature and distance and what fits and wears right. Makes good sense for running. I chose to wear these
because they make me feel pretty. That's the important thing, right? (Side note, yellow princess running skirt no longer fits, gonna have to find another blinging bright skirt for summer). Realized one loop in that this would make it easy for everyone to recognize me on the trail (and know how many time they passed me). I heard several times from behind me "there's Patsy".
Here's Steve and I pre-race.
My plan was to run further than I did. Coleen's pre-race talk told us about three water crossings. I decided right then, without a single step on the trail that if my feet got wet I was only running one loop, three miles. We headed out with headlamps and gloves and hats. I had an issue with my headlamp, I couldn't get it tight enough to stay up on my head.

Since it was a new trail to Steve and I he stayed with me at the start to get the feel of the trail. At a mile I told him to go ahead he asked if he was pushing me, I said I was fine, but because he wanted to run further than me, the slower he ran the first loop the longer I would have to wait for him and the longer he would be on the trail. He took off, and I slowed my time from the 9 minute mile pace to something I could sustain for a mid-range distance run. The water crossings were iced over in places so you could walk across and stay dry.

I ran into Steve before the second loop, his headlamp went out and he had a flashlight. I traded him my too big headlamp for the flashlight and was much happier with that. I went out on the second loop and the water crossing got me, I stepped on the ice and wiped out. Steve said that the water splashing up by the real runners who splashed through the water (as opposed to ones who care more about being pretty) had the zamboni affect on the ice. The two guys behind me that witnessed it were kind, helped me up, made sure I was okay and then said "don't go the same way she did". Always happy to help. (And this is where the title of this report came from).

After the third loop, having completed 9 miles my injinjis were constricting my toes so I went to the car and changed socks. As I was headed to the aid station, my stomach let me know it wasn't really up for another loop or two and if I went back out, it would make me pay.

At this point, Coleen's fun run had lived up to the bill, I had a blast. I wanted to leave that way. So I left the 23 degree icy water crossing sometimes snow covered starlit trail for the hard core people and called it good. Stripped down to nothing in the parking lot (it was dark, reaalllly dark) and put on dry warm clothes, grabbed my post-run diet coke and went inside to socialize with some really cool running friends.

I ran the first loop with Steve and a new friend, Teresa. Then I ran by myself. There was something so peaceful about the solitude on the two laps I did solo. Quiet, dark, cold, clear, clean air, it was soothing.

Steve did 21 miles, clothes were sweat soaked and he was cold and didn't have any dry shirts and had a head cold when we went so he called it good 10 miles short of his plan.

I'm usually in a hurry to get home after these events, whatever it takes to stay awake to drive home. But about Emporia I had been up for 22 hours and I told Steve I needed two five hour energy drinks or a nap. (Remember, my original plan was a hotel in Topeka...) Steve voted nap, so we pulled into a truck stop and napped for a couple hours and then came home.

I had a really good time. My hip flexors are killing me today. Steve says I need hill training. Like that's gonna happen.

Coleen has a run in July, ran exactly the same way at the same place, only it's called her "Sweaty Ass Run". I'm looking forward to going back and running that one too.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Conversations with Whitney

New hair...

And a facebook conversation:

Friend: Get out of bed and go watch....
Whitney: Lol that would require me getting out of this bed:/ I'll do it tomorrowwww.
Friend: It's over now fat so
Whitney: Fatso is one word buster
Friend: you still got the idea doe chill mija
Whintey: But if you insult me, I'd like you to do it properly.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Change the world

I was wondering if I could change the world what would I want different. Not what do I want to change about my life, but if I could make the world a better place, what would that look like?

Would I cure cancer? How about AIDS? Would I feed all the world’s children? Provide clean drinking water? Give everyone a clean dry warm bed to sleep in? Would I heal broken hearts and take away the pain of loss?

I can’t do any of these things. The only thing I can do to make the world a better place is be a better me. The only way I can be a better me is to live for Jesus. I had a crappy day. From morning till bedtime. At lunch I complained to God, whined, basically threw a four year old fit. And He chastised me. Some of the things I whined about he told me that he wasn’t going to fill that need in my life, go do what you think you need for someone else. So I did.

Interesting thing happened. In doing for others my need was met.

So today I have already looked for ways to pour into other’s lives as a way to feel better. Selfish? Maybe. Ulterior motives to my good deeds? Definitely. Do I feel better? Yes.

I realized that Jesus did heal while he was on earth, and fed the hungry and gave them something to drink. He did miracles that only he could do. But he never lost sight of the fact that he came to earth to give us all life, and he did that through dying for us. Giving us eternal life. He came that we might have the best life possible, through him. Regardless of whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, he came that we might have life.

How can I change the world? By sharing Jesus.

John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A nightmare

I had a nightmare last night...

I am running, faster than I have ever run before. It’s almost superhuman speeds. It’s night, it’s a country road with old fashioned wood posts fences. I am running but I am out of control. It’s almost like I’m flying, except I can’t get off the ground. Two or three steps, a couple in the air and then I’m back on the ground again. I realize I am running from something or someone? I am afraid. I can’t stop running.

Then a car catches me. I feel relief because it’s my friend, Sheila Barber. I can finally stop running and I in the car with her. Sweaty, panting, fearful. She drives us to a beautiful Victorian farmhouse. It resembles a gingerbread house. I notice there is something odd about Sheila, but don’t care. I’m just happy to not be running.

We go into the farmhouse and there is an elderly woman sitting at a table. The house is decorated much as you would expect it to be. Authentic to her age, Victorian, lots of lace doilies and Victorian style dishes, furniture.

There is a hutch filled with children’s Victorian style tea sets. She has one in front of her and as she opens the miniature teapot I can see it is full of pearls and beads and soap pellets. I can smell the lavender soap. Then I hear a moan and I look over to side of the elderly woman and there is a woman hanging from the ceiling. Still alive, she moans again. And as the elderly woman pours out the teapot of pearls and beads and soap pellets on the table, she laughs, a horrible sound, and a small girl comes out and climbs up behind the woman hanging from the ceiling and stabs the woman through the head.

Now I am hanging from the ceiling, Sheila is hanging beside me. My miniature teapot is blue, Sheila’s is yellow. As the teapots are tipped over, Whitney and Denae come out of the room behind us.

This is where I woke up, honestly sweating. I got up and drank some water and slept on the couch. When I went back to sleep the next nightmare was worse.

Monday, January 9, 2012

In my corner

I worked, ran, cleaned, did laundry, slept, drank diet coke, grocery shopped, read, went to the Y, it was pretty much a normal week. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Due to the nature of my friends and the people I follow on twitter, on Sundays my twitter feed and facebook statuses are full of quotes from preachers and invitations to come out to church, if you aren't here you are missing, etc. I think it's great that everyone loves their church and won't debate what church is the best or what pastor is the best. Go where God leads, many blessings on you and your church.

Having said that, I got this. Amazing, really.
Steve leading Amazing Grace to the tune of "The House of the Rising Sun". I love Amazing Grace. I love any thing that rocks, and I LOVE STEVE. But this was a perfect song for him. Style, range, content and it's one he loves the lyrics so he sang the heck out of it.

Then, I got this.
Whitney says, "hey, Tarzan is preachng today". Tarzan is actually Cody Knutsen, a former Wichitan and member of Gracepoint that now is a missionary to Costa Rica. They run a children's ministry to teach the children about Jesus. They also help kids with schoolwork. GP is in the process of adopting the students in their children's ministry so they can attend school. Uniforms are required to attend school, so the money goes for uniforms and school supplies. The parents bring the kids and then hang out because they have nowhere else to be, and they are learning about Jesus too.

Cody's message was beautifully simple. No catchy phrases, nothing to tweet. It was simply to give everything you have. To give your life to live for God.

This was especially powerful as it came from a man who gave up everything to live in the slums of Costa Rica to minister to the people there. They live in the same houses as the people they are ministering too. They eat rice and beans every day. He says they are dirty and they stink. They don't have insurance. And he absolutely loves it.

We are not all called to missions. We can't all live in Costa Rica. But we can all love God and love everyone around us. And that is a scriptural concept that God continues to impress on me. Love him, love everyone else around me. That's what he has called me too. I really wonder what this looks like for me. What it actually looks like right now and what it really should look like. I'll be chewing on this one for awhile.

And singing "there is a house in New Orleans..." Wait, that's the tune, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound..." those lyrics.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

13 weeks

I'm thirteen weeks from my first 2012 marathon. I was very concerned Christmas that I wasn't going to have time to get ready. But there is a wait list, and I know a couple of people wanting in so I could get my money back.

I decided to give it the week between Christmas and New Year's and see what happened. What happened was everytime I put on my running shoes Steve headed out with me. Even if he had already ran that day. And I ran a couple of 4 milers, a 6 miler and a couple of 8 milers. This week back at work, my regular scheduled life, I was still able to stick to my schedule and get my runs (and my Yassos) in.

Today I met Sheila for five miles while Steve was at worship team practice and then headed home to run more on the trail. I ran the first mile and a half with Steve for his warm up, and then he went on ahead. At about 3 miles in I saw him coming back toward me on the trail. His camelback had a leak and his back was soaked. He couldn't go too far without water so he was going to call today a bust. Since I was at a little past 8 miles for the day and still had to get home I traded him camelbacks, dumped the water out of the leaky one and headed home with he empty and let him finish his long run.

I know every short cut (if there is one) to get home, so I climbed out of the trail, hopped the fence into the church frisbee golf course and headed home the shortest route. Ended up with a total of 11 miles and I feel pretty good about that. I feel confident about being ready for a marathon in 13 weeks. If I just add a mile a week to my long run I'm there. (The trick will be training and running it to be ready for the one I want to run two weeks after).

I'm so happy to have friends that share my running passion. I'm also very happy that Steve loves it too and that he runs with me and pushes me and causes me to be better. Now I'm going to go read my new Runner's World.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Conversations with Whitney

Whitney: can you cook bacon on a George Foreman grill?
Whitney: nevermind. I'll just eat frosting.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Never stop running

Saturday morning after a 10 mile group run at Sedgwick County Park (of which I did not run with the group and only ran 8 miles) the group went to IHOP for breakfast. I did participate in this group activity of post race pancakes.

Tony B was celebrating the completion of his 5000 miles in 2011, which was a goal of his. And I was properly impressed. This group had all different levels of runners, different speeds, and was pretty evenly split between male and female. But one runner really made an impact on me. Tom S is in his mid-sixties. He said he doesn't feel sixty-ish, he feels great. And told us to never stop running.

I have had to take extended breaks from running. But I'm always excited and ready to get back into it. I'm hoping that I stay healthy and I can never stop running.

I have given up other activities, other dreams, other goals. I've had some dreams taken away from me, some goals pushed completely out of reach.

I realized that some of my dreams were not really mine. I also realized that God replaces broken dreams with new ones. Maybe not immediately, but over time you start to see them take shape. This verse has never pointed to dreams for me before, but I'm kind of thinking it will from here on. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

What better dreams could I have than to know the Lord knows his plans for me, and they are for good, not for harm, to give me hope and a future?

Monday, January 2, 2012

Resolutions - No, not this year

I was talking with Steve, Nate and Whitney at lunch today.

Took Nate to his favorite restaurant for his last full day in town. I have never eaten there. Da Cajun Shack. We ordered Da PaPaw (pronounced pow pow). Gator, crawfish, catfish and shrimp. Fried okra, cajun fries, dirty rice and jambalaya. It was very good.

While we were there, we talked about resolutions. I decided that I should only make ones I can keep. Had to explain myself. If I set running goals to run 5 races, but have 10 on my schedule including 10K's and 5K's, I should easily meet the 5. If I say I'm going to read the Bible through this year, that is actually less than I generally read it in a years time. If I say I'm going to eat healthy, that's one thing. But healthier is a different resolution altogether, and much easier to manage.

While on the topic of the Bible, Nate asked if that gets boring. I have to admit, the list of "begats" gets kind of monotonous. But I said that the stories are really good. Nate proceeded to tell me he knows all the stories in the Bible. (Quite possible, years of Awana's and 5 years of Christian school plus Sunday School, etc). Whitney was not to be outdone so she tells us "well, I wrote the Bible". Taken in context, which everything must be with Whitney, it was funny.

So I'm not making resolutions - except for this one. To live in the moment. Be fully present IN THE MOMENT. Not focus on the past, not fixate on the future. Not disappear into myself to avoid reality.

I will enjoy every minute spent sitting in the bleachers at volleyball.

I will cherish every word of every text, email, blog comment, phone conversation, face to face conversation.

I will meet my friends for lunch, dinner and coffee.

I will make the most of every step I run, solitary or with a running partner. Training run or a race.

I will enjoy cheering Steve on at all his races and being his crew.

I will read books I love and if I don't love them, I'll put them down and find one I do love.

I will enjoy my food. I can eat healthy and enjoy it both.

These aren't resolutions. This is a way of life.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

In my corner

I've been off work for 11 days, one more before vacation is over.
Nate has been home 11 days, and leaves Tuesday to go back to Lawrence.
Steve helped me get through an 8 mile run, longest in two months, on an absolutely beautiful day in late December.
Steve's anniversary present from me has shipped, Celtics vs. OKC Thunder basketball tickets for the end of February.