Sunday, May 26, 2013

Things don't change

I went for a ten mile run yesterday. Actually 10.5. About 7 more than I should have.

Realized I still run with the same Ipod I've had for five years with the same playlist. I've used others, but I have one I will not change. I love it. I know what's coming next, before it starts playing. Two hours and thirteen minutes.

That is Queen, Tears for Fears and U2. Some of my favorites. Also mixed in with a little Styx, The Cars, The Cult, The Cure, Bob Segar, Depeche Mode, Kiss and a few other awesome 80's bands.

I ran my favorite route, south on the bike path next to the river to the ball fields where Nate played in high school. Yes, I used to run to his games. But then I rode home. Now I turn around and run home. Steve met up caught me 3 miles from home, ran a mile with me, and then since he's much faster, I told him to run on home. And we've been doing this long enough that he knows when I say "go on, I'm fine", I'm really okay with him leaving me to finish alone.

Some might say I'm in a rut. And may even believe it. But I have found a place I love.

This all came to my mind when Nate came home Mother's Day weekend. He stood on the front porch and said "I love coming home. This is the best part. Stepping on the front porch and opening the door. The first step". He stepped in the house, stopped, looked around and said, "ahhhh, it's still the same, and it always smells so good". I teared up a little over that. Because nothing has changed, but everything has changed. And we are still the same mom and dad at home doing the same stuff and it looks the same, but it's not. We're not.

Yet, I still love my same stuff. I love my same clothes, until I wear them out. We eat the same foods. We go the same places. We enjoy the same hobbies. I listen to the same playlist, the same music.

I'm not saying change isn't good. Because I believe it is. On some levels though, it's okay to stay the same. Somethings don't need to change. My relationships grow and change and are always in a state of flux, some are stronger, some have dissipated. Dreams and goals change, professionally, I'm getting a promotion I didn't even apply for or ask for. And it's a good thing.

I thought of the scripture Hebrews 13:8-9 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace,"

He doesn't change.

Todays culture has changed to a belief of everything is okay because:

God is love, so all love is good - JUST STOP THIS! SO WRONG!
If he's married, your love is not from God.
If the Bible says your love is an abomination, it's not from God.
Loving people does not mean accepting everything they do and agreeing with everything they do.

Love includes correction and discipline.

I'm far from getting this right. I love people. I can be tolerant of their differences and their lifestyles. I can keep my mouth shut when I don't agree. Me believing different doesn't make me wrong, or you wrong, just different. My source of belief is the Bible, which hasn't changed. God's morals and standards haven't changed.

More importantly, his love has never changed, never fails, never gives up.

It may seem like nothing has changed, but when I look inside myself, I'm not the same person I was two years ago. I'm stronger, my faith in God is stronger, and I believe I can do all things because he gives me strength. I believe that he will strengthen me with his great power so I will not give up when troubles come, but I will be patient.

Whatever you are dealing with right now, read Colossians 1:11. Keep it close. He will strengthen you, the one who is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Friday, May 24, 2013

I want one of these

The shirt, he's already my trainer. I have it on my computer, just got to place the order.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

does that make me crazy?

There is a line between curiosity and nosiness. I passed that at birth. There is another line between nosy and stalking. I'm afraid I'm close to this line. Reality is I should've studied sociology or anthropology or some other ology. I love to watch people. I love to see how they interact with others. It's why I'm a big fan of Survivor, Big Brother and Biggest Loser. Watching people make friends, form alliances and then stab each other in the back and call it a game for prize money is fascinating.

Did you ever know someone that you are obssessed fascinated with watching their life unravel unfold?

I have a few women like this in my world. With the internet, it's so easy to cyberstalk people. I don't make it hard for you, I just put mine out there. As my friend Cate once said "yes, that's crazy, but at least you know it". Like that makes it okay? If you know it's crazy behavior, it really is okay.

So I creep facebook and blogs and pinterest. A couple I'm actually facebook friends with so I can see everything. A couple I'm not, they make it harder to find out what they are up to. I'd like to friend them because I want more, but it would be in poor taste. (NOTE: If any of you block me or unfriend me, I'll know you read my blog and then I might have to call you out on this). But that doesn't stop me. I look. I search.

Whitney says that I love google, and she's right. I google everything. Example: at the doctor's office this morning doctor tells me I have a Baker's cyst on the back of my knee. Instead of asking her what a Baker's cyst is, being sure it's not a Baker's cyst cause my last name is Baker, I google, right there in the exam room while I wait for them to come back in with a referral. It's most likely caused from the torn cartilage, (which I have an appointment to confirm in two weeks with an MRI). Goes back to volleyball days. Yes, I've been running for 5 years with torn cartilage. Finally had enough of the pain. I'm a masochist. In this picture from last August I'm sporting black and tan KT tape because I was on the last strip of both colors.

Also want to give a shout out to Anya, on my left this was her first 5K and a couple weeks ago when I volunteered at Prairie Fire Spring Half Marathon I got to see her come through at mile 8 as she ran and finished her first half marathon.

So yes, I love google.

If they ever develop an app that lets you see who viewed your facebook profile, I'm in trouble. Because not only will I stalk you, I will look through your friends and see if we have mutual friends, what your friends hobbies are, do any of them work with me, etc.

I do feel the need to point out that while I know this makes me sound deranged, (okay, I will admit that possibly I am deranged, but I'm okay with it) it all started with the smartphone and sitting at trains, in waiting rooms, waiting at sports practices, in between games at tournaments, etc. When I'm home, I have other stuff to do. When I'm at work, I work (plus they block a lot of sites and limit how much time you can use a month. Literally a timer pops up on the screen and will kick you off). I'm getting better, because I know everything there is to know about most of my victims by now, so it doesn't take as long to keep up, lol.

I take it one more step, and really, this is a cry for help. This morning I sent Sheila a text and said go look at so and so's profile, they've uploaded a new picture. Pitiful, isn't it?

If there is a Stalkers Anonymous or 12 step program, please let me know.

And don't worry about stalking me (heehee) I'll tell you anything you want to know.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

are you being watched?

I listened to a friend at work today talk about her husband.  How he belittles her.  Laughs at her.  Takes things that are important to her and makes them small.  Makes her feel small.She told me she wished her marriage was more like mine.  She doesn’t think they’ll last.

I thought, briefly, what do you know about my marriage?  So I asked.  These are the things she told me.

She knows I have pictures of Steve on my desk.  There is a picture of us with our arms around each other and we are smiling.

She knows I am proud of him and his accomplishments. 

She knows that she has never heard me say a bad word about him. 

She knows he treats me good.I asked her how she knows that and she said “because how could you speak so well of him all the time if he didn’t?”

It made me aware that people are watching. 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

little things

I find joy, happiness, even comfort in the little things.

A surprise visit from this guy.

Whitney's Young Entreprenuers Awards Ceremony

How much she loves her nephew.

And her nieces.

The pink rose from my manicurist for Mother's Day.

Whitney getting me the perfect dress for Mother's Day (no yellow pants "The Middle" reference).

Volunteering with a high school cross country team at a half marathon aid station.

A well timed message on Happiness at church this morning. Phillippians 4 - I have learned to be content.

Seeing Ironman 3 in IMAX

Running with Sheila at 5:00 a.m. (you don't want to see a picture of us at 5:00 a.m.)

There is so much in life to enjoy. So many reasons to be happy, even when there is hard stuff in your life.

Learn to be content.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Run with endurance

I was reading Hebrews 12, a passage I know well and I caught a new thought today. I love the"run with endurance the race that is set before you." But the first half says "since you are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely".

I am surrounded by witnesses. People who have endured and lived for Christ.

What I'm really pondering us the sin that clings so closely. "THE" sin is laughable. Sins, plural is more accurate. I've already fallen prey to several of mine today.

At least verse 2 gives direction, "looking unto Jesus".

Gotta do more of that.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Does that make me crazy?

I spent an hour in Barnes & Noble (one of my happy places).

These were the two books I wanted.

Conversations with Whitney

Setting: watching Whitney' s friend Jada play soccer.

Whitney: is it raining?

Steve: sprinkling a little.

Whitney: I knew I couldn't possibly spitting upward onto my face.