525,600 minutes (times 42)
From the musical Rent,
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember the love!
Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.
How do I measure a year? Is it a calendar year or school year? Is it from birthday to birthday? It’s all of the above. I am celebrating my 42nd birthday on December 6. It’s not a milestone birthday and generally for me, it’s just another day with cake (the best kind of day). I have been thinking though, that 42 years is a long time. That’s a lot of minutes. So in honor of my 42 years, I’m going to share 42 events from my life over the next 6 days. (Otherwise this would be a really long post. So feel free to join me on a trip down memory lane, or just come back next week when it’s over.) Mostly they are in chronological order. It was hard to condense down to 42 events. I thought about giving you 525,600 minutes of my life but that was too much for me to remember.
1. One of my earliest memories is when I was five years old and I played in my mom’s lipstick. I had it all over my face and the bathroom. When she asked if I had been in her makeup, I lied. She explained that made Jesus unhappy and it was a sin, and we knelt by our itchy, ugly, 70’s circa sofa and I asked Jesus to be my Savior. I remember skipping to the phone to call my Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Morris to tell her.
2. Standing on an old milk crate to get baptized because I wasn’t tall enough to keep my head above water.
3. When I was five, my dad was attending Baptist Bible College in Springfield, MO, and I was in half day kindergarten. I went to the Jack Van Impe Crusade with him. Event at that age I remember hating being surrounded by all those people I didn’t know sitting in the bleachers.
4. My first grade year we lived in Turon, Kansas. My dad was the associate pastor of the Baptist church there. The school was for Kindergarten through 8th grade, and I was in a combined 1st and 2nd grade class. We still return to Turon for our family reunion on Memorial Day and I believe I’m related to everyone in the cemetery, including the current gravedigger. - Hey, Uncle Rolla.
5. We moved to Larned, KS when I was in second grade. Lived there for 3 years. I hated living there, hated the schools, and that was where the meanest girls I ever knew in my life lived. (The two Shellys, Mary, Susan, Janet. How’s life treating you?) I never had friends, never fit in, and remember a lot of pain that was inflicted by the kids there. This is where I first learned to love books and escaped to the library and to books on a regular basis, and to this day the library is one of my favorite places, so thanks for the meanness. Something good did come from those three years.
6. My favorite toy was a small stuffed panda.
7. We moved to Wichita when I was in the fifth grade. I remember sitting in the car in the parking lot of the Christian School I would attend for the next 8 years while my parents enrolled us in school. (I take my kids to enrollment; I wonder now why we were banished to the car? Maybe my folks were afraid they wouldn’t let us in if they met us first.)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Conversations with Whitney
Setting: driving home from church on a Sunday morning, past the new Humane Society.
Nate: Animals are treated better than some kids now.
Me: Sometimes
Nate: They have more rights
Me: At least they aren't allowed in restaurants.
Whitney: Dogs aren't allowed in McDonalds, not pets.
Nate: Yeah, you could say, but this is my cat.
Whitney: Or my Cockatoo
Nate: (holding up a finger) rrraw number 12, rrraw number 12
Whitney: (at the same time) Polly wanna cheeseburger?
Whitney: they will need a sign with a picture of a ferret in a circle with a line through it.
Nate: One of the teachers at Heights has a ferret. She lets the kids take it for walks in the hall on a leash. It can't get any traction in the hallway so it's like a sock on leash. Totally pointless.
Nate: Animals are treated better than some kids now.
Me: Sometimes
Nate: They have more rights
Me: At least they aren't allowed in restaurants.
Whitney: Dogs aren't allowed in McDonalds, not pets.
Nate: Yeah, you could say, but this is my cat.
Whitney: Or my Cockatoo
Nate: (holding up a finger) rrraw number 12, rrraw number 12
Whitney: (at the same time) Polly wanna cheeseburger?
Whitney: they will need a sign with a picture of a ferret in a circle with a line through it.
Nate: One of the teachers at Heights has a ferret. She lets the kids take it for walks in the hall on a leash. It can't get any traction in the hallway so it's like a sock on leash. Totally pointless.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thankful
THANKSGIVING!!!
The tangible item in my life that I am most thankful for is my Bible. Through all the rough times in my life I have always found comfort in it. Just holding it is comforting. Opening it and reading it is better, but having it in my hands makes a difference. It's what it represents, it's what it is. It is the Word of God, written for me and to me. Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path". (NLT)
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
The tangible item in my life that I am most thankful for is my Bible. Through all the rough times in my life I have always found comfort in it. Just holding it is comforting. Opening it and reading it is better, but having it in my hands makes a difference. It's what it represents, it's what it is. It is the Word of God, written for me and to me. Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path". (NLT)
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
It's NOT okay
We were watching TV the other night and it was a show about teenagers. A couple of high school students had gotten themselves into trouble and when they told her parents she was pregnant, the parents were not happy. The dad told the daughter he was disappointed in her. At this point, the daughter got all righteous with her “YOU are disappointed in ME? Why, because I made a misTAKE? Why can’t you just tell me you love me and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay?” Definition of okay: 1 all right; proceeding normally; satisfactory or under control: 2 adequate but unexceptional or unremarkable: 3 tolerable.
When did it become a parents job to just hold you and tell you everything will be okay when you mess up? Life hands out beatings on a regular basis. And the ones you earn by “making mistakes” can be particularly harsh. Want to make adult decisions? Suffer adult consequences.
My response to this situation is this: "It is going to be okay, eventually. But I wanted better than "okay" for you. From the first time I saw you I knew you could do great things. Maybe not be president of the USA or an astronaut on the moon, but I watched you. I saw you. You got prettier and more confident as you grew. You had a vivacious and fun personality that drew people to you. You had a knack for trying out for athletic teams and vocal auditions and earning spots that you weren’t good enough for going in, but you rose to the challenge. You became as good as or better than your competition just by being in the same room with them. You earned playing time on teams you weren’t good enough to make because you worked hard and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I watched you get a solo in big concert, very selective of who got the solos, and you earned it. So I don’t want to tell you everything is going to be okay, because that's what you want to hear and need to believe, but it's not enough. I’m looking at what life could’ve been. And while that baby is going to change your life and bring you lots of joy, sex and childbirth and parenting are experiences that only get better if you wait later in life for them. You can have sex and a baby after high school. You can’t go back to prom and homecoming and senior skip day and a myriad of other rites of passage. While those things may not sound important to you, they are. They are a part of growing up, maturing, experiencing the last year of your youth before you get thrown into the adult world. I remember the dreams you had for after high school, what you wanted to do with your life. And you had the same dreams for 3 years, until you got pregnant. And now, when others your age are going out to movies and planning college visits, you will be home changing diapers and holding a colicky baby. Those dreams you had are still possible, but at great sacrifice to you and greater sacrifice to the baby. And while that baby will be a wonderful addition to your life, it is an experience that is better left till after high school. And within a year you will understand the sadness and hurt that comes along with being a parent. The hurt of a sick baby. You can’t tell them it’s going to be "okay", they don’t understand. You can’t give them Aleve and put them to bed, because it would kill them. You can’t take the pain and sickness and hurts from them, because moms don’t get that magic power, as much as we want it. It won’t take long before you feel disappointment for the first time. The paper in elementary school that isn’t their best. The fight with a kid on the playground. The “look you in the eyes and lie to you”.
So yes, it will be okay, but you should’ve had better, could’ve had better than "okay". And I know this can't be reversed, but fight for your baby to have every opportunity like we did for you. Teach her to do right. Let her learn from her mistakes, and don’t ever let her accept that it’s going to be “okay”. Teach her to strive for better than that. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Try to follow his plan; it is so much better than ours. I know from experience, as does every other parent, that when we do things outside of the guidance of the Word of God, it is not his plan. Teach your child to walk in the Lord’s plans. Future and a hope. That’s what we want. Not okay."
When did it become a parents job to just hold you and tell you everything will be okay when you mess up? Life hands out beatings on a regular basis. And the ones you earn by “making mistakes” can be particularly harsh. Want to make adult decisions? Suffer adult consequences.
My response to this situation is this: "It is going to be okay, eventually. But I wanted better than "okay" for you. From the first time I saw you I knew you could do great things. Maybe not be president of the USA or an astronaut on the moon, but I watched you. I saw you. You got prettier and more confident as you grew. You had a vivacious and fun personality that drew people to you. You had a knack for trying out for athletic teams and vocal auditions and earning spots that you weren’t good enough for going in, but you rose to the challenge. You became as good as or better than your competition just by being in the same room with them. You earned playing time on teams you weren’t good enough to make because you worked hard and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I watched you get a solo in big concert, very selective of who got the solos, and you earned it. So I don’t want to tell you everything is going to be okay, because that's what you want to hear and need to believe, but it's not enough. I’m looking at what life could’ve been. And while that baby is going to change your life and bring you lots of joy, sex and childbirth and parenting are experiences that only get better if you wait later in life for them. You can have sex and a baby after high school. You can’t go back to prom and homecoming and senior skip day and a myriad of other rites of passage. While those things may not sound important to you, they are. They are a part of growing up, maturing, experiencing the last year of your youth before you get thrown into the adult world. I remember the dreams you had for after high school, what you wanted to do with your life. And you had the same dreams for 3 years, until you got pregnant. And now, when others your age are going out to movies and planning college visits, you will be home changing diapers and holding a colicky baby. Those dreams you had are still possible, but at great sacrifice to you and greater sacrifice to the baby. And while that baby will be a wonderful addition to your life, it is an experience that is better left till after high school. And within a year you will understand the sadness and hurt that comes along with being a parent. The hurt of a sick baby. You can’t tell them it’s going to be "okay", they don’t understand. You can’t give them Aleve and put them to bed, because it would kill them. You can’t take the pain and sickness and hurts from them, because moms don’t get that magic power, as much as we want it. It won’t take long before you feel disappointment for the first time. The paper in elementary school that isn’t their best. The fight with a kid on the playground. The “look you in the eyes and lie to you”.
So yes, it will be okay, but you should’ve had better, could’ve had better than "okay". And I know this can't be reversed, but fight for your baby to have every opportunity like we did for you. Teach her to do right. Let her learn from her mistakes, and don’t ever let her accept that it’s going to be “okay”. Teach her to strive for better than that. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Try to follow his plan; it is so much better than ours. I know from experience, as does every other parent, that when we do things outside of the guidance of the Word of God, it is not his plan. Teach your child to walk in the Lord’s plans. Future and a hope. That’s what we want. Not okay."
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