It's NOT okay

We were watching TV the other night and it was a show about teenagers. A couple of high school students had gotten themselves into trouble and when they told her parents she was pregnant, the parents were not happy. The dad told the daughter he was disappointed in her. At this point, the daughter got all righteous with her “YOU are disappointed in ME? Why, because I made a misTAKE? Why can’t you just tell me you love me and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay?” Definition of okay: 1 all right; proceeding normally; satisfactory or under control: 2 adequate but unexceptional or unremarkable: 3 tolerable.
When did it become a parents job to just hold you and tell you everything will be okay when you mess up? Life hands out beatings on a regular basis. And the ones you earn by “making mistakes” can be particularly harsh. Want to make adult decisions? Suffer adult consequences.
My response to this situation is this: "It is going to be okay, eventually. But I wanted better than "okay" for you. From the first time I saw you I knew you could do great things. Maybe not be president of the USA or an astronaut on the moon, but I watched you. I saw you. You got prettier and more confident as you grew. You had a vivacious and fun personality that drew people to you. You had a knack for trying out for athletic teams and vocal auditions and earning spots that you weren’t good enough for going in, but you rose to the challenge. You became as good as or better than your competition just by being in the same room with them. You earned playing time on teams you weren’t good enough to make because you worked hard and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I watched you get a solo in big concert, very selective of who got the solos, and you earned it. So I don’t want to tell you everything is going to be okay, because that's what you want to hear and need to believe, but it's not enough. I’m looking at what life could’ve been. And while that baby is going to change your life and bring you lots of joy, sex and childbirth and parenting are experiences that only get better if you wait later in life for them. You can have sex and a baby after high school. You can’t go back to prom and homecoming and senior skip day and a myriad of other rites of passage. While those things may not sound important to you, they are. They are a part of growing up, maturing, experiencing the last year of your youth before you get thrown into the adult world. I remember the dreams you had for after high school, what you wanted to do with your life. And you had the same dreams for 3 years, until you got pregnant. And now, when others your age are going out to movies and planning college visits, you will be home changing diapers and holding a colicky baby. Those dreams you had are still possible, but at great sacrifice to you and greater sacrifice to the baby. And while that baby will be a wonderful addition to your life, it is an experience that is better left till after high school. And within a year you will understand the sadness and hurt that comes along with being a parent. The hurt of a sick baby. You can’t tell them it’s going to be "okay", they don’t understand. You can’t give them Aleve and put them to bed, because it would kill them. You can’t take the pain and sickness and hurts from them, because moms don’t get that magic power, as much as we want it. It won’t take long before you feel disappointment for the first time. The paper in elementary school that isn’t their best. The fight with a kid on the playground. The “look you in the eyes and lie to you”.
So yes, it will be okay, but you should’ve had better, could’ve had better than "okay". And I know this can't be reversed, but fight for your baby to have every opportunity like we did for you. Teach her to do right. Let her learn from her mistakes, and don’t ever let her accept that it’s going to be “okay”. Teach her to strive for better than that. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Try to follow his plan; it is so much better than ours. I know from experience, as does every other parent, that when we do things outside of the guidance of the Word of God, it is not his plan. Teach your child to walk in the Lord’s plans. Future and a hope. That’s what we want. Not okay."