Friday, March 13, 2009

Random thoughts

Things I’ve Learned

1. The heater in my car does not double as a hair dryer. No matter how hot and how high I run the fan, it does not dry my hair by the time I get to work.
2. Wet hair freezes on the ¼ mile walk to my office building. Crunchy frozen hair is really cool. Closest I will ever get to dreads.
3. A squirrel cannot run and carry a full piece of bread in his mouth. He trips over the bread. We have a “pet” squirrel. He eats from our hands. He will try to climb your leg to get food. He also likes peanuts, rice cakes, and ritz crackers.
4. My twelve year old daughter’s friends idolizing my son and flirting with him and him picking on them doesn’t bother me. My twelve year old girl idolizing my son’s eighteen year old friend who picks on her and pays attention to her, really bothers me. If that’s a double standard, I’m okay with it.
5. I have never been a fan of grounding my kids, but I’m starting to think it may be the only way to get my teenagers to spend time with me. I have recently even volunteered to help with homework, just for some face time.
6. Pick up lines and the whole act of hitting on someone is hilarious when you are watching it from the next treadmill. I witnessed this at the Y the other night when some old geezer (translated, my age) hit on the 21 (translated, looked about 16) year old girl on the treadmill next to me. She was adorable, he was pitiful, and I somehow managed to hold my laughter.
7. My high school friends can still make me laugh till I snort pop out my nose, twenty-five years later.
8. Not everyone thinks I’m funny. I was somehow shocked and saddened by this, because I think I’m hilarious. My future is looking like “crazy old lady” will be me.

2 comments:

  1. You know, crazy old ladies always have anywhere between 12-24 cats. I know this because I worked at a grocery store in college. I could always recognize the crazy old cat ladies. They would come in and buy, like, a whole cart of canned cat food (with coupons) and nothing for themselves. They always wore wool trench coats----to hide the cats underneath---coated with hair(and stretchy yarn hats and gloves) even when the weather was 80 degrees. Do you like cats? Knitting? Yarn berets? If you answered yes to any of these, you may qualify as a crazy old cat lady.

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  2. I've been remiss in telling you how much I enjoy your blog. You're a funny girl and a gifted writer.

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