A new chapter in life - part 2

This one, this woman child of man that is all light and laughter and fun. Gifted with wit and charm and a beautiful smile. The ability to laugh at herself, to find humor in most everything. Thoughtful and kind and good. Mouthy and sarcastic and strong willed. Opinionated and stubborn.

Whitney & Polo, Thanksgiving 2015

Whitney has let me know of her plans to move out by summer 2016. I get it, it's time, she's almost 20. It still pulls at momma's heart, but she's ready. And I think I am too.

Steve and I have a lot of life left in us, and it we are looking forward to all that the future holds.

A new chapter in life

I'm not there yet, not an empty nester, but I'm so close.

Two and a half weeks ago, Nate scheduled and appointment with me for coffee. And to talk. Some things that he had in his life were finally all worked out, and he has some freedom he didn't have previously.

He told me that he wasn't officially engaged, but he and his girl Lily, are going to get married, and he wants to be where she is so he will be getting an apartment in the town she goes to school and moving there after the first of the year. He will finish up college there as well. His credits from Juco will all transfer, it's in state, so he's in a good place.

I watched him move away once before, and it tore my heart out. This time, I'm excited for him. All that life holds. He is a strong courageous good man. So far from perfect, but willing to own his flaws, his mistakes, and work hard to make them right. I've watched him for the last two and half years do the hard things, and I'm one proud momma. I'm still really gonna miss him.

Nate & Lily, Thanksgiving 2015

Do not dwell on the past

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

I have made a conscious decision to not dwell on the past. There is just so much of it. When I dwell on it, continue to be in it, I can't fully embrace what God has for me now. I'm not living in my present, working for my future, enjoying life right where I am.

This includes Spiritual matters, physical abilities, and relationships.

I'm being intentional about it. When negativity springs up about past, I give it right over to God. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

I have had to stop multiple times beating myself up because in the 6 months before knee surgery in 2012 and the year after, I couldn't exercise like I used to. Even now, I'm limited. I can't run like I used to. But I sure can eat like I always did. I have not been kind to myself. As I struggle to get back in shape and learn to eat entirely different, I continue to remind myself that was the past. I am not there now, never will be again, so figure out to be better today. What will work, what won't, and embrace the new thing that God is doing.

I have two very close familial relationships that were brought to the edge of destruction in 2011. Two of the three people I love most in this world.

They have been mended everywhere but in my head. Satan uses one of them over and over to keep me down. This last month was rough, again, 4.5 years later. I got with God on what was still holding up my healing, and followed his lead. I know what to do. Doing it however, is another story.

The future is not without it's difficulty, it's not without it's challenges, and that's with what I can see on the horizon.

One thing from the past I WILL NOT be letting go of, is the memory of God's faithfulness. The deep waters. The impenetrable darkness. The deliverance. The answered prayers. I intend to keep these as close as possible to me.

I should count sheep

I can't sleep. This is why.

Did I blow the candles out?

There's supposed to be severe weather this weekend.

OMG, did I pay the house insurance?

What date does Nate's rental textbook have to be returned by to avoid being charged for it?

Where is the text book?

What was that noise, is Belle running wild at night through the house?

Nate's up. Crap, he will have eaten everything in the house by tomorrow morning.

What did Steve say I forgot at the grocery store? What was it...oh yes, toothpaste. I have extra. We'll get by.

Did I move the clothes from the washer to the dryer?

I ordered Belle a new collar over a month ago. Wonder why it hasn't come in yet. It's only $8.00, but it does have her name and phone number on it.

What do I get Amelia for graduation?

Did I pay the insurance?

Dang, why don't these Ibuprofen PM take effect faster? Is that effect or affect?