I wanna be Jesus

You realize I didn't say "I wanna be like Jesus"

I took Nate home after Christmas break. (And then paid to have his car returned to road trip condition so he can go back and forth on his own).

This was an interesting conversation.

He's a funny guy. Always has been, in kindergarten he said he wanted to be a stand up comedian. Now he's into reading philosophy and sociology and anthropology and other "ologies". He's bright, idealistic, zealous and outspoken. And funny. I know, said that twice, he's really funny.

He starts telling me all the reasons our country is in trouble. And it's a long list and he's right. There are other reasons, mainly SIN and EVIL are in the world, but there are other issues too.

He then tells me that he wants to change the world with his words like Martin Luther King Jr. or John F. Kennedy Jr. I ask him if he realizes they were both killed for their life changing speeches.

He says he's willing to be a martyr if it gets his words out there and he can make a difference.

And then we begin to talk about education and careers. He informs me he needs a "trade" not an education and a career because he intends to use his words and thoughts to change the world. He wants to be Jesus. (No sacrilege intended, just a heart that wants to make a difference). I ask him again if he realizes that Jesus died for his message. He says "I told you, I'm willing to be a martyr".

Obviously, I didn't get anywhere. We discussed that Jesus had a trade, he was not educated and did not have a career. Just something to support himself till he started his real calling.

Nate currently manages at Taco Bell. He intends to move back to Wichita this summer because Whitney needs him close during her senior year to "shape and mold" her.

So be warned people, my 20 and half year old man child is on the loose in America - well for right now Kansas, and plans to take over.

inside information

Here's a view into my childhood from someone who lived it with me. Check out this true story by my sister Peggy.

Conversations with Whitney

Whitney: will you fix me a baked potato?

Me: you mean put it in the microwave and heat it up, cut it in half and fluff it with a fork?

Whitney: yes

Me: (handing her the potato after fluffed) here you go

Whitney: will you fix it for me?

Me: I don't know how you want it.

Whitney; regular butter, excessive sour cream

Whitney: THAT'S ENOUGH BUTTER! I'm not Paula Dean.

Fearless

I've had this word rattling around in my head for awhile. Since Christmas. Whitney gave me this bracelet for Christmas. I love it. I would've found a way to relate to whatever word was on the bracelent. I'm not fearless. But I'm not afraid of much. Not near as much as I used to be. I've lived through some pretty harsh realities and survived, I've faced the majority of the things I knew I was afraid of, Nate leaving, climbing a mountain, getting snake bit, marriage trouble, kids in trouble that I can't fix, heartbreak, and lived to tell about it so I just move on.

Fearless. What does that mean? I'm not sure I know.

I've been watching the History Channel's presentation of The Bible. Third episode something clicked. Something about putting it into drama form that made it very powerful.

Men of God. Fearless.

Absolute favorite part so far has been the angels sent to get Lot out of Sodom. Black and angel and Asian angel throwing of their angel robes to reveal armor and Jet Li type moves. It was great. I think the angels would be pretty awesome, and I loved how they were portrayed as protectors of God's man, fighting for him. Gives me chills.

Moses when he hit the Red Sea with his staff and it parted (everytime I see it on the "previously on" I think of Gandolf in The Lord of the Rings "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"). The confidence he had in God.

Joshua running through the streets of Jericho as a spy.

David when he was on the front line of the battle when Goliath mocked the Israelites and he went out to fight him, single handedly.

Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego refusing to bow to the idol, praying to their God. (The bunny, the bunny, oh I love the bunny, I don't love my mom or my dad just the bunny...if you don't get this, google Veggie Tales Rack, Shack and Benny).

Daniel in the lions den.

Joseph fleeing Bethlehem for Egypt.

The show didn't show them as not realizing what they were up against. Not confident in themselves, confident in God.

I think of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego where they say our God is able to protect us. But if he doesn't, we will still serve him. Confident in his power. That's where the fearless comes in. It's about knowing that at the end of your abilities you still have his strength.

You can be fearless because he will take care of everything.

The Adventures of Wander Woman

Ahhhh, a long weekend in the Ozark National Forest in Mountain View, Arkansas. It was lovely.

I didn't really have anything unusually adventurous happen, unless you count my sunburn. It was unseasonably warm. I look so good right now...but it's already fading.

Steve had a race. And he has decided that he needs to have the morton's neuroma in his other foot taken care of sooner rather than later. Here are some pretty cool pictures of the area.


The cabin we stayed in.


Inside the cabin.


The view from the deck of the cabin. I didn't get to spend near enough time out here.


At the start line.


Cute picture of my friend Coleen, but mostly, look at that trail!


More of the trail.


And one more...it was so beautiful there.


Who needs an ice bath with a creek like this at the finish line?


Steve finishing strong. Especially strong since he chose to stay with a friend who was struggling the last 10 miles. This behavior has a way of paying you back, it's always worth it to help a friend out. When you're hurting the trail can be a looonnneeeely place.

As always, I loved being Steve's crew. Favorite/most memorable moments:

Dude who ran 16 miles in a speedo to the aid station he was volunteering at. Pink flowered speedo. Then took his running shoes off and put his cowboy boots on with the speedo.

Mile 27.5 aid station cheering for all my friends by name as they came through: Coleen, Sherrie, Debbie, Gen, Nikki, Sophia. It was the last aid station before the finish line of the 50K, they were hot and tired, and I loved being an encouragement.

Sophia taking Puchinni (her puppy) for the last 4 miles of the race and watching him trot in to the finish line.

Watching Steve finish.

Watching the KU game Friday night with our friends from the KC/Lawrence area and getting quizzed about Perry Ellis, freshman extraordinaire of the KU Jayhawks basketball team that went to school with Nate for two years and Whitney two years.

It was a fun weekend, a successful weekend, not a relaxing weekend though. BUT FUN!!!

Does that make me crazy?

We were talking at work about cooking. One lady talked about a Web Site where you can make 30 freezer to crock pot meals in one day. Then dinner is always ready.

I thought WOW!!!!



That sucks. I'd only get to cook once a month.

I want a donut

I have lived through two weeks of the insanity work out videos. They are tough. Along with that, I survived 7 workouts with Marquis. The hardest part of this last two weeks has been my attempt to lower the amount of sweets I eat. That's been tough.

Results? Definitely good. I lost 7.5 pounds. That's a great result. And I took the fitness test again to see if I've gotten stronger in two weeks. It's scheduled again in another two weeks. 8 exercises, really hard exercises like Jack push ups, plank obliques, power jumps, for as many as you can do in a minute. It was just as hard as the first day.

In the interest of keeping it simple I totaled reps for 8 exercises and day one I did 258 reps. This time I did 283, I did 9.7% more. If anything would motivate me to keep going, that would. I would've been happy with just one more.

Foot is so much better. Thinking I may get to run again soon. I miss it, but time off for healing has been necessary.

Have a blessed week everyone. If you get a chance to eat donuts think of me.

Conversations with Whitney

Setting: Ciao, italian restaurant

Looking at Whitneys plate with 2 bites of cheese manicotti and a mess of cheese and tomato.

Whitney: I hate it when I only have a little bit left and I can't finish it. And this stuff, who puts cheese and tomato together? Is that a thing?

Carrie: Its called "pizza".

the shocked looks on Whitney and Kelsey's faces were priceless

dreams and goals

What's the difference between dreams and goals? I've been thinking about my goals. And I'm a little reluctant to admit that they aren't really anything noteworthy or spectacular.

As per usual, I have races I want to run with the goal of finishing. I started a 9 week workout program a week ago, insanity and I have the goal of doing better in my fit test on day 63 then I did on day 1.

I have a goal of keeping up with my desk at work. Which lately has been a real challenge. If I could speak Chinese it would be easier. Oh well, I'll muddle through. Trying to easy less sweets. Like less than once a day.

These are all things that I can make happen.

Dreams are a little different. I want my kids to be happy and fulfilled. I can't control that. Can't make their decisions. I want Steve's back to be completely healed. He's back to all his old activities, full steam ahead, but still has some pain.

I want to make a difference but I don't know how.

I want to be kind and generous and self sacrificing.
I want people to think their world was better because they knew me.

I'm working on this. Every day.


Trying to build others up, not tear down. See value, not faults.

Seems kind of minor dreams doesn't it. But it's really what I want. To love Jesus and love others. Even the hard people to love. Especially the hard people to love.

issues

I asked Steve if I could mix my vanilla protein powder in my diet coke. I'm pretty sure this is a major fitness no-no.

I do have some stuff I'm writing that's non-workout related. Just kind of jumbled right now.

I get that way sometimes. Rough season or time of life.

Memories triggered by time of year, songs, situations, etc.

But mostly, life is good.