MWF

I don’t know whether I’m freaked or flattered today. I got an e-mail through facebook this morning (2:29 a.m. to be exact). I didn’t read it till lunch, because I was asleep, or at least laying in bed trying, at 2:29 this morning. Someone has confused facebook, a SOCIAL NETWORK, with match.com, an internet dating site. Either that or he's too poor for match.com, if that's the case, he's definitely out. I can only assume that he browses (stalks?) the pictures of his friends and found mine, as my settings are all on private. I use the same profile picture for facebook that I use on my blog, so this picture above is what captured his attention. Direct quote from his letter “you look gorgeous, cute and awesome”. Really? Gorgeous and cute? All that from my face, not even my chin and forehead included. It ain’t front row seats at Alan Jackson, but for this lady, shouldn’t I be flattered? He is looking for someone passionate and affectionate, willing to give him a trial. I’ll give him trials, just ask my husband.
Let me just go on record before I start this, I am not against dating sites, (the 800 numbers freak me out, though) I think it would be brutally hard to meet a nice person this day and age. However, the side of me that has read too many crime novels and true crime stories and watched maybe just one too many episodes of 48 Hours Mystery is feeling stalked right about now, over one e-mail. Even though the tone is not stalkerish at all, I’m sure they don’t ever tell you “hey I would like to meet you so we can hang out, I’ll pretend to be normal until I have you fooled. Then you’ll start to notice that I have some really odd habits; a drawer full of ladies panty hose, nothing but canned carrots in my cabinet; a bassinet in the corner with a baby doll that I rock to sleep every night and call “chubbims” and a coffee table book “Anthology of Serial Killers, Essays from a Killer”, foreword by Dennis Rader. (I’m from Wichita, KS. My kids have their high school Bible Study meetings "Falcon Fellowship" at BTK’s church. Not kidding, that’s what they call it, right across the street from the high school). This book doesn’t really exist, don’t look for it on Amazon or at your public library.
So if I had to write an ad for a dating website or old fashioned personal ad in the newspaper, what would I say? PLEASE NOTE, I AM NOT SERIOUS! MY MARRIAGE IS NOT IN TROUBLE. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN.
MWF (married white female, not a great start) seeks DM or SM for friendship, possible relationship. Christ follower. Age 41 and look every year of it, proud of my crow’s feet and laugh lines because I feel I earned them. 5’6”, size 12, (20 pounds overweight, but trying to lose it). Red hair from a bottle to cover the gray, brown eyes. Constant dieter and fitness enthusiast. Neurotic, needy and high maintenance. Must be willing to be compared to the GREATEST MAN ON EARTH, as you will never measure up to the man I am currently married to. Enjoy spending time with my kids, running, music, blogging and reading true crime novels.
Now, who wouldn’t want to date me?
I had this conversation with a friend just last week, that I see myself as who I am in Christ, forgiven, a child of God, redeemed, restored, loved, highly valued. But I also see my sin. I know how deeply I have wounded my Savior, and continue to do so, even without wanting to. Steve and I were talking about this a couple nights ago, how the sin we really struggle with isn’t visible even to the ones that are closest to us. He made the comment that true repentance is confessing and turning from the sin, and then 2 days later you are right back there again, without meaning to be. It’s a struggle, and it can really be a downer.
This all took place after I accepted Christ, but I remember a time thinking I was a pretty good person/christian. I thought I lived a good life, and felt pretty good about myself spiritually. But now, I feel every day I struggle with something, even though I try to live every minute of every day for God. I fail, and I know that will happen, but I couldn’t figure out why the harder I tried, the more I seem to fail. I heard a sermon by Dr. David Jeremiah that put this in perspective for me. Here’s a little history, let's see how much I can remember from “auditing” Steve’s college Pauline Epistles class. The apostle Paul is credited with writing 13 books. Some are disputed, but he basically gets credit for all of them. The first was 1 & 2 Thessalonians, second was 1 & 2 Corinthians, and last was 1 & 2 Timothy. Don’t test me I won’t get the rest in order. In 1 Corinthians 1, Paul introduced himself as “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus”. We are used to hearing this, but it does sound pretty self important. Paul was a new Christian here. Dr. Jeremiah then pointed out that in the book of 1 Timothy 1 Paul said he was “chief among sinners”. Paul did not stray from God over the course of his life, quite the opposite. From the time he began writing his missionary letters and epistles to the time he ended with 1 & 2 Timothy, he grew closer to God, walked many years with him, tested him, believed him, grew in him. So what happened? The closer he got to the mark, the more he realized he didn’t measure up. The closer to perfection, the more he saw his flaws. I like this explanation. I don’t compare myself to Paul, and I know I am light years away from the mark of Jesus Christ. All I can do is my best, and then work harder. I will see even more clearly how I don’t measure up, it’s a vicious cycle, but one I intend to stay in. After all, Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith" sounds like someone who stayed the course to me!