Injuries

I have had a flare up of plantar fasciitis. One of these days I'll realize I have to stop running for good. I haven't yet.

But I am not running for a couple of weeks minimum while I try to let it heal. I'll be back to elliptical and aqua jogging until then.

I'm dropping my April marathon. I have to get well, cause I have plans to run the Niagara Falls International Marathon in October. That really gives me until June when I'd have to start a training plan, so we'll see how it goes. Staying off of it. On the plus side, my knee is completely pain free. Six months from surgery and it's so cool to have it not hurt.

Work has been nuts since January 2 when I went back after the Christmas break. I'm on an airplane to LA tomorrow morning to sit on site at a supplier and make sure my parts are their top priority for a week. This is not a vacation, it will be 10 hours a day in an unfamiliar office without my work friends (will miss you Stella, Misty, Aimee, Erin).

But I get to travel in style, direct flight to LA, (I have a layover on the way home, though), nice hotel in nice area because I'm traveling alone, big rental car because it's LA traffic, mobile hotspot so I'm my own internet, and they moved me to an airport hotel Thursday night so I don't have to drive through traffic to catch my 8:00 a.m. flight. We have an awesome department secretary.

I'll be back "Dropping Gems" as Whitney would say or "spitting mad truth" as Nate would say, soon.

According to your faith

Matthew 9:29 says according to your faith let it be done to you.

Hebrews 11:6 says without faith it is impossible to please God.

These two verses are sticking with me today.

I really need to believe God for some things in my life right now.

From the external view, things look pretty good.

Marriage and family are good.

Job is good - stressful, but good.

I'm healthy, except for that nagging plantar fasciitis

And yet I find my faith level kind of low. Which means I'm not pleasing God.

You could say I'm a tad backslidden and you would be correct.

I started working on that and I realized how dry and thirsty my soul is.

I know God doesn't want me to live this way.

According to my faith - well, I'm going to live what I believe which is the power of God is incomparably great. And let it be done to me.

My Reality

I'm doing a Bible study with my friend Rebecca. She lives in Cali. We are watching the video on line, doing the work book and then we have a skype date to talk about it. I watched the first video, and I really have a lot to think about.

Making your theology (what you believe about the Bible) your reality.

It took a minute to catch up to me, but I started making a list of things I believe in the Bible. My theology. I can back them up with Scripture. And then I crossed checked that to my reality. They don't match. So I'm going to work on making my walk match my talk match what I believe. What I BELIEVE. Not what someone else says, blogs, or thinks. I'm going to be honest, please don't think I'm wallowing in self pity or worse yet, suicidal, these are just thoughts I've had that I need to not have ever again.

A few examples from my long list:

Theology Reality

I am loved. I'm not. I'm easy to live without. I'm easy to leave. When you hear you aren't
loved those words stick. Hurt more than any others.

I can do all things through Christ I'm not capable of much. I'm mediocre, average.

I am his handiwork I may be the only person on the planet God didn't get right (this one is extreme,
doesn't happen often but it has crossed my mind.)

I am a conqueror I am a victim. I have no control, life just happens to me. (Another one I don't
live with all the time, but I have my moments).

These four, just four, are more honest then I want to be. I'm going to add to the list of my theology and work at making it my reality.

One little shift

Tonight, I'm sitting on the couch watching the shockers basketball game and it's pretty enjoyable. I was doing laundry, but Belle got in the way so I put that up.

It's been a brutal week. I went back to work after two weeks off and all my suppliers lost their minds and just quit building parts. Or so it seems. Which is odd considering they don't send me parts they don't get paid. And if they don't send them on time, I charge them. So I know they don't want to make my life difficult. But they are.

I've been working 50 - 55 hours a week since June and I get tired. I still make it to my workouts, but it's killing my running schedule.

I come home and don't get a lot done. I work Saturdays and that impacts my getting chores done also.

I reminded myself today of how grateful I am to have this job. The income, the insurance, the benefits. I have to remember the good when it gets rough.

Sheila sent me an excerpt from her devotional today, on a totally different subject, but this phrase stuck out to me "I believe this one little shift in our thinking can make us feel empowered, instead of feeling denied."

One little shift. Gratitude for the job, and even the extra hours, because with that comes extra money and my boss knows how hard I'm working to get everything done, with our work force cut by 33%. One little shift, I have a home and food and clothes to have chores to do.

These are not revolutionary thoughts. People have been saying this for years. Sometimes it's nice to have a reminder.

Shift your thinking to one of gratitude. Of what I'm getting, not what I'm giving up. Of blessing from the sacrifice, and the remembering that sacrifice is not always bad.

And the thankfulness that my job has never been this crazy when my kids were little.

training update

Frosty 5K January 1, 2014

Your Voice

How important is your voice? Your story? We all have one. We all have something worth saying. We all have beliefs and passions. We all have importance.

I silenced a “voice” a while back. I know I did. She emailed me and told me she wouldn’t be blogging anymore because of me.

I would read her blog and disagree with her or tell her why she was wrong. She’s not the only one. I have used my forum to share my beliefs and talk about things I disagree with. I have done that with family members and I’ve disagreed and taken the opposite side of issues from friends.

I believe we need to interact with people we disagree with. I believe we need to respect them and listen to their opinions and their beliefs. I believe if we hear or read something we take a different stand on it may challenge us to rethink our stance. It will do one of two things. Strengthen what you believe or change your mind.

Proverbs 27:17
"As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another."

Iron sharpens iron. When you sharpen a knife there is definite friction.

Do I feel guilty or bad about “silencing” her voice on the internet? Not at all. She has every right to speak. But you have to believe in what you are saying enough to be challenged on it. Agree with me or disagree with me, I’ll think about what you say and either strengthen my stand or change it.

I may not be the popular voice or the most widely read blog. I have never gone viral. It doesn’t matter. I will be silent when I have nothing left to say.