18 years

When Steve was running his 50 mile race last weekend I was thinking about the mental toughness it takes to do that. It definitely takes physical strength and training, but without the mental game, you will never be able to finish.

This has served him well in other areas of our life.

There was a time where this mental strength was needed to save our marriage. I hated to think about how hard it was to work on our marriage. To save it. To make it worthwhile. But while that hurt, he chose to do it. He chose me, he chose our marriage, he chose our life together. Truth be told, I had to choose him too.

And here we are, 3 years from that rough time, 18 years into marriage and we are good. That's my word for us. Good. A dear close friend asked me a month ago how Steve and I were doing and I had to think about it, and this is the word I used.

Sometimes I feel like I've been through the war, and maybe, just maybe, I have. But I also feel like I may have won this one.

I went through a time when I wanted a new wedding ring. I didn't talk to Steve about it, or I would have a new wedding ring.

I did say something this week, but now, here is the way I feel about it. In some respects, I have a new, different marriage. But the vows we said, the things we promised, we still hold to them. Were they broken? Yes. But God has fixed us. And a new ring would be a constant reminder of what happened. Every time I saw it, I would know why I have a new one. By keeping my original one, there is the reminder of the original vows and that included "For better or worse".

This ring came with speaking these words, and we have seen worse, definitely. But we've seen better too.

I wouldn't trade my 18 years.