Graduation Day

Today is my second step-daughter’s graduation, along with several hundred other high school seniors at Heights High School.  They actually finished last week on Thursday, and tonight is the ceremony, the walk across the stage in cap and gown to receive their diploma.  This day holds so much promise for the future for so many of these kids.  But today, I am very sad for some of them.  My step daughter graduates as the mother of a five day old baby.  We are proud of her for finishing high school and graduating.  It’s a sweet baby.  But saddened because her life is set on a course, that no matter what she chooses to do going forward her prior choices have dictated that she is on a rougher road than many.  Anyone with kids knows that parenting is one of the toughest roads there is.  It has many rewards, but it comes with pain too.  Whether it’s the pain of an infant with an ear infection or teeth coming in, a kindergartner who got called a hurtful name they had never been called before, or a high school kid with their first broken heart, a mother feels all that pain too. And this is why I’m sad today.  I know of two boys from Heights, friends and acquaintances of two of my kids, that while they finished their work last week and technically graduated from high school, they won’t be attending their graduation tonight because they are in jail.  My heart is so heavy for the mothers of these two boys.  Regardless of their parenting and how they raised their sons, I believe we are born with an innate sense of right and wrong, and also, children are taught even in public schools that fighting is wrong, you don’t hurt other people and you don’t take what isn’t yours.  One boy is in jail for robbery and one is in jail for his third charge of domestic violence.  And again, I feel so sorry for these two boy’s mothers.  I’m sure they are wondering where they went wrong.  What should they have done different?  What could they have done different?  And I bet you anything they have a list of things.  They may not share it, and they may pretend they aren’t taking any of the blame, or they may take all of it.  But I believe they know without anyone saying a word where they failed their children.If I could talk to these mothers today, I would tell them how sorry I am.  I am sorry that they feel they let their children down.  I am sorry that their children let them down.  I am sorry for all the hurtful things that people will say under the guise of advice or comfort.  I would tell them that I’m praying for them.  I would also tell them that children make their own decisions.  Just like I made bad decisions as a young woman, and paid the consequences for my sin (not the price, Jesus did that, I merely lived through the fallout of sin and it can be brutal) I have tried to teach my children not to make the same decisions I did.  I have tried to teach them to stay away from sin, and to choose to live a life for God.  To say that because I sinned my kids would isn’t necessary.  Because Adam sinned we all will.  To say that my children will sin like I did is also ridiculous, they aren’t going to do everything exactly as I did, so why pick this?  I feel pretty strongly on this, as I know a couple of really great sets of parents.  They are wonderful people that have lived for God; they have made impact on their communities serving God.  They have wonderful testimonies.  But their kids aren’t perfect, they have sinned, even some of the BIG sins.  This doesn’t comfort me, because I know this hurts these parents, and I would spare every parent this kind of pain.  I do believe though, that we raise our kids to love and serve God.  And we train them the best we can.  And we make mistakes and we try harder.  And they make mistakes and we love them anyway.My prayer for everyone who reads this is if you are a parent that your kids will love and serve God and that they will live passionately for Him.  If you are a parent that God will give you wisdom and strength (and endurance) raising your children to be Godly women and men.  If you are not a parent (or even if you are) my prayer is that when someone struggles with parenting issues that you will support them in Christian love without casting blame or giving advice that will hurt.   In fact, my prayer for all of us today is that we will love each other and lift each other up and bear each others burdens and not tear each other down.  Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens. And in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  What I found when I studied this Scripture is that Paul’s reference to Christ’s law was mostly likely Christ’s teachings.  Did anyone love more and care for the hurting more than Christ?