Mean Girls

It's happened again. I've been on the receiving end of a woman intentionally inflicting pain on me. I was going to share the details because that would have made me feel better. But it would not have been the right thing to do. I would've painted her as a monster and she isn't. But I can't think of much good to say about her right now so I will take my mama's advice and "say nothing at all". Oh wait, it's already to late for that.


This is a soap box issue for me. Women who hurt each other instead of trying to lift each other up. I'm not talking the unintentional, even though I think we should try not to do that either, I'm talking the pay you back or hurt you because I'm hurting or I'm just a mean bitch striking out at the world, or I hate you because I hate myself and see what I'd like to be.


As women, why can’t we love and support each other? Why can’t we address issues and forgive each other? Why do we have to put each other down? Hurt each other?


Am I the only one who has heard (and said) negative comments about other women and their:


Marriages, Children, Clothes, Body, lifestyle, how they spend their money?


I try not to be that woman. I try to love other women. Look for good in them and their children. Be positive and encouraging. (For those of you who know me well…please don’t call me out here, I really am trying). Having said this, I owe a few apologies. And I’ve made a few this week.


We all have our insecurities. Surely I’m not the only one who feels a little less when someone stops by my house and it’s not company clean. The only one whose children have ever embarrassed me. Whose husband isn’t perfect. Whose hair has bad days. Who has bags under her eyes. Has an imperfect body.


I don’t like despising other women. And their are two that I feel that way right now. I'm praying about it. Constantly giving it to God. And one is getting better, I have more days that I don't feel that way, but it's not gone. And as life seems to go, another one is placed in my struggle zone as I feel I'm starting to get victory. Obviously this is not an "issue struggle" but a "person struggle".


So I’m going to lay it out there. I’m trying even harder. To love other women. To compliment them. To not be unkind about their children. (In all fairness, with my five kids, I have no reason to feel like I got it right.)


To avoid the ones I can’t be positive or kind to until I can.


My first step was to tell a friend who just started training for a 5K that I would run with her. She said, but you run marathons, I can only run a block. And I explained to her that when I started running, I could only run a block at a time. I hated that she felt less talking to me. Inferior. She can do what I do; she just started four years later. Small example, but THIS is the ME I WANT TO BE.


Not like the lady in Sports Authority last night. I had been at work and was meeting Rebecca and several of the girls at Sweet Basil and went by Sports Authority last night still in work clothes and shoes. I was buying body glide and GU, (isn't my life glamorous?) I overheard her say, yeh I used to dress up too, before I had kids. It wasn't said kindly. I was the only other person in Sports Authority, so pretty sure it was about me. And as I never feel like I'm dressed appropriately, I instantly felt insecure and I think my face turned pink. WHY??? She didn't know me. It may have been my only nice clothes. I may work nights. I may have come from a funeral (it was all black). Regardless, it didn't need to be said.


But hey, I look like I don't have kids. I'm taking that to mean my clothes are neat and clean, free of baby drool and donut frosting, I have my hair done and my make up on and I'm out on a Monday night dressed up for dinner on the town. Which included one glass of red and home by 9:00. Still, it's a compliment. Mean, but a compliment.


So ladies, from this imperfect woman to all of you, praying a day of kindness and compliments your way. And if you need a specific one, text me, email me or call me. I'm pretty sure I can come up with a heartfelt true postive comment about you.


Much Love to you all.