I am his

The other day I was having a bad day. In a month of bad days. I have had 6 doctor appointments (including knee, eyes, broken filling, etc.), extreme stress at work, pain in my knee which makes me cranky, and with my kids; one grown child unemployed and refusing to look for work, legal trouble, a visit to the jail, a bail bondsman, a tow truck, a funeral, the DMV, a runaway if she wasn't 21, illegal activity, 3 started new jobs, and a husband feeling the same stressers I am.

I got in my car to drive home after taking my parents something, can't remember now why I was even at their house in the evening, but as I started along I was whining to God. Feeling sorry for myself. And that wasn't working out for me, so I turned the radio on. I happened to be in Steve's car so it was a Christian station. And a song was just starting. It wasn't a new song, it's not one that is specifically meaningful to me, I know it, I like it, but the words were like a slap in the face. You know how it is when God sets the perfect stage for you? Casting Crowns. I'm only going to share the lyrics that really hit me, but the whole song is pretty powerful

Who am I, that the lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am
But because of what you've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still you hear me when I'm calling
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling
And you've told me who I am
I am yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?


And that did it. Who am I? Who AM I? Doesn't matter, he feels my hurt. I am his.