Honestly...

This is a hard time of year for me. The month of March. Specifically this week.

I try not "celebrate" or honor bad memories and times of my life.

I've spent the last year or so redeeming - this is the word I choose to use - my bad memories, going to the places that were triggers of harder times and making new good memories. (I can't fix Applebee's though. Bad night there, but the food is so awful I just can't make a good memory,lol).

This fall I'm redeeming one that really isn't bad, per se, but is not as great as it should have been. Steve is going to run the Niagara Falls International Marathon with me the end of October. I'm very excited, runs from the Canadian side of the Falls to the New York side. I guess I should get us registered here pretty quick. We are going to be in Buffalo, New York for 5 days and then go to Boston for 4 days. We get to see some dear friends while we're there, I want another trip to the museum, the harbor and the shopping district we went to. (I'm a touch disappointed that my friends Phil and Wendi just moved back to Texas because I was going to meet them for dinner one night as well).

Having said all that, it's still hard sometimes. It's better the longer time goes on, and the more triggers I take care of, the more bad memories I wipe out with good memories, the better it is.

I'm not comparing my difficulty to this, but the other day I saw a facebook post of a woman who said that ten years ago today she had miscarried and her baby was in Heaven and they still missed her. It just reinforced that some things leave a mark deep enough that you don't forget. You remember. But how you remember, how you choose to deal with the memories, how you choose to move forward, while not technically "moving on" is up to you.

I find myself praying in more situations that God doesn't fix the problem, that he gives me the strength to do what I should. To make the right decision. To do to the best of my ability what I can and then ask God to help me to leave the rest in God's hand, secure in the knowledge that he does have my best interest at heart. That might be pain, but if I allow him to use it for good, he will be.