I didn't want to get hurt

I was talking to my nephew the other day about registering for the Hard Charge obstacle race coming up the end of April. He said he decided not to do it because he "didn't want to get hurt".

I thought this was kind of funny, being the non-competitor I am. I do my best, push myself, but always stop well ahead of hurting myself. I figure I can control that to a large extent by not pushing too hard. I could still get hurt, but I can slip in the bathtub too.

Then I realized that I do this with my emotional and mental life. I don't put myself out there because "I don't want to get hurt". I don't look at things cause I might see things that will hurt me.

I know all of Steve's passwords, but I rarely look at his email or facebook or cell phone. Because I might see something that will hurt. I don't think there is anything, in fact, I'm sure there is nothing to take exception too. But you know how it is, when you go looking for something, you can find it. One dumb example, he was emailing someone a lot and it was a woman. I didn't ask who it was, but it wasn't a secret, he wasn't hiding it, I could read it if I wanted too. It nagged at me. And when I finally asked, it was his cousin. She had the same back surgery he had and was giving him advice and things to check on.

So I don't go looking for things that will hurt. I don't do things that will hurt I'm basically the same as my nephew, and I snickered at him.

I don't think there is anything wrong with protecting ourselves from pain. Not at all. But if we don't put ourselves out there, we won't grow and learn. A pain free life would not be near as rewarding as learning to deal with the pain, grow from the pain, overcome, deal with issues, make relationships better and stronger. Push us out of what is comfortable. Push us into healing.

And we all need our healer.