Part 2 of Scripture Proverbs 19:13 "A foolish child is a calamity to a father; a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping."
I've been bummed, for lack of a better way to put it for the last couple weeks. There is the stress fracture, not to keep dwelling on it, but I missed the marathon and have been relegated to crew only for Steve's 100 mile race. On the good side, he has pace runners coming out of the woodwork, volunteering to run with him, and I was worried I would be the only one. Now he has three. Which is awesome. For him. I'm still bummed. I've had a sinus infection for about two months, had a shot and a z pack, and it's back again. Ear hurts. So my foot hurts and my ear hurts. I'm so fortunate that both of my pains will heal, I know people live in constant pain. It wears on you, though. I've had some ongoing junk at work. Thought it was going to work itself out, but found out Friday I'm going to have to continue on with the junk. I've been working for 10 months with the sole point in my mind that I'm working for the Lord, not for man. Because otherwise it would be impossible. And my job situation has changed in that ten months, but never for the better. My boss, his boss, and his boss all think I'm doing great job, I got good reviews, big raise, highest retention, etc. But I have to force myself to have a good attitude. I continually remind myself to work for the Lord. I constantly say remember you are a grown up. I don't say all this for pity, because I don't need it someone should really tell me to get over myself and move on, I have been blessed so much, but MAN life is hard when it comes at you from all different directions. But to get back to my point, I was walking today, (looking for Steve, he ran 50 miles on our trail and I just felt the need to check on him) and was thinking of that verse. I've not been quarrelsome, but just not my usual self. And I wondered when it would get to the point that this was normal behavior, when I had "dripped" so long that it was accepted. Steve gets to deal with my all junk, and he is a kind and longsuffering person. This is another area of my life where I'm so blessed. I don't want Steve to get used to me being unsettled and unhappy. If I'm going to drip, I want to drip good stuff. And so I will continue to adjust my attitude and my outlook on life and remember to remember all the good things. I have so many.
Get over yourself and move on. :) I'm just kidding.
ReplyDeleteI understand. When pressures come at you from every direction, it does wear on you! I don't think God expects us to be non-reactive to situations in our life, but to react in a way that honors Him. I see you trying to do that.
Speaking as the kind and longsuffering one in my marriage, there is a great deal of forgiveness and forgetfulness on my part. I'm not the one who stresses or flips at the drop of a hat. I'm the level-headed one who can find reason amid the chaos.
Don't think for one minute that those qualities in Steve aren't exactly what God prescribed for your life. The best husband and wife teams aren't necessarily the ones who act the same way, but instead balance each other out when they act like themselves.