Enough

This week I had the opportunity to read a blog by a young husband who's wife is a stay at home mom of two young children. He made the comment to a woman he works with that his wife would love to have a "coffee break" and that she works really hard.

From all the working moms in the world, I need to say this.

If you are a stay at home mom and you can't find time for a ten minute coffee break in your day, you are doing it wrong. I realize there will be days where your kids won't take naps at the same time, or nap at all. But it won't stunt their life if you put on a veggie tale video and you sit down with a cup of coffee and enjoy Bob and Larry for ten minutes.

I don't discount being a stay at home mom is hard. I was a full time mom. I just went to work in during the day. And it was hard. It's hard to leave sick babies, even with grandma, and go to work. It's even harder to go to a stressful job after no sleep because you have a teething baby. Just because I didn't stay home didn't mean my heart and most of my mind wasn't with my children at every moment.

I hate the comparisons. I hate the "my life is harder/better/more difficult than yours".

I hate the home school vs public school vs Christian school wars.

I hate comparison.

So why do I do it to myself? Why do women especially do it?

I don't near as much anymore. It's going to sound really sad to say it this way, but I quit because my best is typically at the back of the pack or at the very least, mediocre. And always being last and comparing yourself to the front runners is a real downer.

But did you get that? MY BEST! That's all I have to work with. I was the best mom I could be, best wife I could be. And that's what I'm responsible for. The success of my children as they turn into adults becomes their responsibility, theirs to do their best. How my husband behaves is his to answer for. I am only responsible for my behavior, my efforts, my utilization of my gifts.

I don't compare myself to other runners (anymore??? or I try not to) because I have to start with what I was given genetically. And that is not fast. It's stubborn, mentally and physically tough, but not fast. I don't compare myself to people sitting on the couch either. If I have to say I'm lapping someone sitting on the couch I've sunk to a new level of low in comparison.

I try to do what I like to do, what I have to do, what I love to do, and do it to the best I can. And if that typically puts me at an average or mediocre level, I know I did my best.

I realize I'm different.

My life is different.

As I continue to push away from comparison and accept my best is exactly that, I realize that I accept me as enough. And that's all I can do.

I also continue to challenge myself to encourage other women in the goals and dreams and compliment them for their victories and good hair days. Because it's a tough brutal negative world we live in.