Twas the night before the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Mom was screaming louder than if she had just seen a mouse
(or snake, but that doesn't rhyme)
No stockings were hung by the chimney at all,
Meaning a last minute trip to the mall
No tree in the corner, wafting the fragrance of evergreen
And brightly wrapped packages? Nowhere to be seen.
No pies were baking, no turkey had been bought
No fudge had been made, no potatoes in the pot
The family all nestled in front of their respective TV's
Oblivious to mom's screams and frantic pleas
For this was nothing new in this house, no way,
Mom was the biggest procrastinator for Christmas Day
She was too lazy to get up early on Black Friday
But on December 24 at 4:30 she'd be out not matter what she had to pay
And the turkey? Who cares we'll have chicken enchiladas.
And nothing rhymes with enchiladas except more enchiladas
Christmas would come like it always does
With presents and stockings and good food because
It's Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year
And momma loves her family, so there was never anything to fear.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
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