ahhh, the wonderful world of the internet. where we share more than we should. where we can pretend (or actually believe???) we are something we are not.
i wandered as i browsed the web - and i had 12 hours at the spine hospital yesterday with msnbc on and a bad library book to read - everything from facebook, twitter, blogs and pinterest, if we are really that disillusioned about ourselves.
i know many people that know me read this, and a few of them will (and have) called me out on past behaviors. i'm really glad they do. maybe not at the time, but eventually i am glad.
i think we all have areas of our lives where certain things are the norm. ways of dress, behavior, talk. do we compromise those? or do we live our lives as us. the unique wonderful way god made us?
one thing that i've learned that makes me different is that i like to wear dresses. at work, even in a professional office environment it's rare to see dresses. maybe i should be more specific, i like girly dresses. and i wear them grocery shopping, to whitney's volleyball games, to church, pretty much wherever i'm going.
and i stick out a lot of times. funny thing is, if you put me in khakis and a black tee shirt, i feel awkward. i do on occasion wear jeans, but even prefer them with pretty shirts and heels. (or sports tee shirts and tennis shoes, but if i'm going that way, i'm probably wearing sweat pants or yoga pants and actually working out.
this is a surface reality for me. but what is inside me? am i a hypocrite? do i talk about god and scripture and share positive uplifting spiritual truths on one pinterest board and call it "wisdom" and then call one "humor" or "things that make me laugh" share off color things, speak bad about men and even other women, calling them names and parts of the body and even plain out foul language? (i will share areas where i have seen hypocrisy in my life, later. can't take too much self flagellation in one day.).
think twice about what i say/type/post. one got away from me this week, i typed something i shouldn't have (even though i meant it and know it was true doesn't mean that i should've shared it) and scheduled it to post. when i proofread it (after it posted) i edited it and took the offensive sentence down.
i want my life to line up with god's word. with the life of a follower of jesus. but i want to be the kind of follower that is not afraid to get out of her boat and go to jesus.
Luke 9:23-24 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.
daily. follow. jesus.
taking up my cross doesn't sound fun. carrying a cross in biblical times was a pretty horrific experience. and it doesn't say you MAY have a cross to carry. it says to pick up your cross. defninitive. there is a cross. i wander, can we truly follow if we aren't carrying our cross? theologues? peggy? jenny? people smarter then me? any answers?
even if it means to walk the path less traveled.
The Road Not Taken
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
i love this by Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.
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