Mrs. Jonah

Last week I shared my husband's Jonah story. Today, I'm going to share my experience as Mrs. Jonah. When Steve told me five years ago that he had a calling on his life and he needed to pursue it, I was the supportive wife. At least outwardly. Inwardly, I was a mess. Not with his calling or his decision to (finally) pursue God's will, but with my role. I grew up in a fundamental Baptist church and Christian school, where everyone was "called" to be a pastor or missionary or pastor's or missionary's wife. I just said the same thing as everyone else when asked, because to not be called would have been like admitting you weren't spiritual. I actually had plans to marry a really hot guy, have lots of money and have my kids over extended in sports. Okay, all kidding aside, I never felt a call from God.
So we jumped in, Steve started college, worked full time, volunteered at church, and kept up with five kids. I drove a lot more, did a lot more housework, and typed enough papers and helped with enough research to feel like I earned my own degree. A few months into all this, I was in my car, wondering again why I didn't have a call of my own, when God made it very clear to me that he didn't have to call me. I had married Steve. My call is to support Steve, which means taking care of him, our children, and our home. (In that order, come see my home some days.)
This is not easy for me, because I'm a stagehand when I want to be the show. I don't want to be in the show, I want the lead. I also want to write the show, and direct it. Which I'm not qualified for but I want it anyway.
Our lives changed drastically when Steve started following God. We didn't have less trials and troubles, in fact they increased. The difference is, when you are following God, and you know it, they are easier to handle. I'm pretty sure that in most of the storms we've faced, I should be the one thrown overboard, (but due to my acidic nature I would've caused some major intestinal discomfort and the whale would've chucked me up long before he got to shore and I would've drowned). I believe that we all have a call from God. I may never set the world on fire. I may not even set my corner of the world on fire. But if I submit to what God's plan for me is and support my husband, raise my kids, and love those in my life, I will have done what I believe what God has for me. This is overly simplified, but I believe this is what I'm called to.
I hear it said often that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. YES HE DOES! God believes in me way more than I believe in myself. My answer to that statement has become, God doesn't give you more than you can handle WITH HIS HELP. If I can handle it on my own, then I don't need Him. He makes sure I don't get that confident.

I will never be in the spotlight, but that really shows my laugh lines, so stage hand it is.