I hate to see parents teaching their kids that rules don’t apply to them. I have some kids of my own that seem to think they can live outside of the law and morality and that everything will be okay. I think (HOPE) they are discovering that they are wrong. There are some things as grown ups that we know are non-negotiable. Show up to work or lose your job. Pay your bills or have stuff repossessed, shut off, etc. Clean the house or…well, this is open to a lot of possibilities that are not good. Get your kids to school or deal with truancy and child services. I could go on, but I know you all know this as well as I do.
What is bothering me is seeing parents allow their children, even encourage them to break rules and say it’s not a big deal. This example is minor, I don’t really even care how it affects me, but I have seen this several times in the last couple weeks. In fact, every time I have been at the Y and used a locker room. The Y has family locker rooms with large changing areas and bathrooms and showers. They have mens locker rooms 18 and up, boys locker rooms 17 and under, womens locker rooms 18 and up and girls locker rooms 17 and under. I don’t really care if you bring your under 18 year old daughter in the locker room with you, even if I’m in there, except it’s posted about 10 places not to. What I do have a problem with is hearing a mother tell her daughter who points out the sign that it’s okay for her to break the rules. It really isn’t. The daughter wanted to do the right thing. Was worried someone would say something or that she would get in trouble, and the mom told her it didn’t matter.
I know kids do a lot of things that they know they shouldn’t and that they have been told not to. So with this in mind, why would a parent knowingly break the rules in front of their kids? Give them permission to? I know we aren’t perfect, goodness knows I am the poster child for messing up. If you can do it wrong, I did. HOWEVER, I feel I must confess here that the majority of the time I was doing things exactly opposite the way I had been raised. The opposite of everything I had been taught. And if I did this knowing I was breaking rules and there would be consequences, what will happen to kids who think the rules don’t apply to them? It’s not okay to drive without your seat belt, even the last 3 blocks home from Kwik Shop. It’s not okay to text while you drive. It’s not okay to drink under the age of 21 just because you are in your parents home. It’s not okay to go through the express checkout lane with 21 items.
I wish more parents would take responsibility like this. It seems like the younger generation of parents have become more concerned about being "cool" to their kids and being their "friend" instead of the disciplinarian. What they are afraid of is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteMy niece went to visit her dad over Thanksgiving and he ended up letting her get a cartilage piercing and he got another hole put in his head (he's already losing brain cells at a scary fast rate!). She said she wanted a belly piercing and he was going to let her do it, but called her mom and she said absolutely NOT. My niece is only 15. And she knew her dad would be a sucker for it. Why on earth would you even allow that on a 15 year old?!?! I asked her at Christmas why she wanted it and she said for herself. I told her she was lying and that at her age, the only thing she wants is attention and to be able to show it off and telling me anything different was a straight up LIE. She didn't have another word to say.
Since when did parents become more naive than their kids? Like a 38 year old man didn't know any better...please.
Luckily her mom had the courage to say "Do it and I rip out when you get home. And yes, I said RIP."
I have been taught that children will respect their parents more if they ARE disciplined, not allowed to walk over mom and dad. I just don't get why adults are so fearful of saying "no" and teaching their children to do the right thing...