Lessons from the trail part 2 - I am enough

The trail doesn’t know…

That I’m afraid.
Afraid I’m a failure. I’ve failed my God, my husband and my children.
Afraid that I’m the one person God didn’t get right. Created me inferior, defective, so broken I’m beyond repair and have no value. Unloveable.
Afraid that I’m not good enough. Not smart enough. Not talented enough. Not pretty enough. Not enough.


The trail doesn’t know…

The difference in the sweat dripping off my elbows and the tears dripping off my chin.


The trail doesn’t know…
That I’m closer to God running than anywhere else. Out there in his creation, unplugged from cell phone, ipod, and life in general. No cars. No teenagers honking and yelling. No one clapping and cheering. No men whistling. No young women calling me porky.

That while I’m not on my knees, head bowed, I am at my weakest and strongest while running; if only for a brief time, from the cares of my life. I’m alone with Jesus. Nowhere to hide. Vulnerable. Empty. Begging for a touch.
That surrounded by nature, the creation that comes straight from the hand of God, that I feel him. Leaving my pride. Man can’t create deer and snake and opossum. Man can’t create trees or grass or rocks. Man can’t turn the sky blue or make the river flow. It's all God.


The trail doesn’t know…

That I love its solitude. I love its beauty. I find God close enough to almost touch. And I have felt his touch.


The trail doesn’t know…

But God does.


And God knows…

I am enough.


I am defective and broken.
I am enough.
I am valuable.
I can be healed.
I am enough.
I am loved.