Thursday, May 3, 2012

Do what makes you happy

I was given some really bad advice a couple months ago. I’ve actually been given this advice a couple times recently. “You should do what makes you happy for a change”.

Wrong on so many levels.

First, it’s insinuating that I don’t do what makes me happy. A trip to Starbucks makes me happy. 16 mile dirty trail feet makes me happy. A new episode of “Once Upon a Time” makes me happy. A nap makes me happy. I can go on…

So let me give a few examples of why I think this is off base.

Let’s say I have $100 to spend on stuff. Whitney needs a new swimsuit (growing 15 year old boobs and last year’s suit doesn’t offer enough coverage), a new dress for a wedding and the one pair of dressy sandals she has need a layer of duck tape slapped on the bottom. I need a new pair of jeans, and saw a great pair of Miss Me’s in Dillards. (Okay, this is a partial fabrication, buying for Whitney makes me happy, and I would never put bling on my butt. I would put duck tape on the bottom of sandals.). Which of these two would make me happy?

Let’s say I want to quit my job and write the Great American Novel. Not work 8:00 to 5:00. Not answer to someone else. Take a chance. Make my dreams come true. This would make me happy, right? Living off of Steve’s income? No insurance – or at least not as good insurance. Dental, optical, orthodontic, health, life; extremely good policies; low co-pays, prescription cards, emergency room visits, for a very low premium on my part? Would it make me happy? Till I missed my first (possibly second) paycheck. Till someone got sick and had to go to the doctor. Till I couldn’t afford diet coke.

Let’s say there is a man at work that flirts with me and has made it apparent he is open to exploring more. And he has money he’d like to spend on me. And for whatever reason; I’m bored, lonely, mad, under-appreciated, any of the above at/by my spouse and family (have you seen the commercial where the mom buys her own present, gets dinner from KFC and tells her family “Because I’m the only one who knows where the on switch on the dishwasher is and…because I’m a great mom and you all love me. Happy Mother’s Day.” I really get that) and I think I should do what makes me happy, cause I only live once, right? And my whole life has been lived to put my husband and children first, so I look for fulfillment and compliments and excitement in another man and I have an affair. Does this really make me happy?


Let’s say that the 3 dozen cake balls I made this weekend (Denae has been gifted with the “Cake Ball of the Month” for her birthday this year. She is the first and only recipient, she will be receiving a dozen cake balls of my choice on or about the 23rd of each month. For 14 months, because her birthday is not till June) look really good sitting on my counter, after all they are white cake covered in white almond bark and rainbow sprinkles. Sprinkles, like glitter, make me happy. It would make me happy to eat about 12 of them. Until I was done eating them, and then when I had to work them off in addition to my regular workout, it wouldn’t be making me happy anymore.


When I look at these few scenarios, they might make me happy, for a brief time. I think though, that most of the time doing what would make me happy would have lasting consequences that might eat at my soul until I’m no longer me.

Sometimes what I think might make me happy is the wrong thing.

I’ve learned in my life that doing the wrong thing never makes me happy. And while you may look at me and say that I can’t be happy with my life, you would be wrong. Because I choose to be happy. I know that every day to the best of my ability in each situation I’m faced with I do the best I can. Even when I screw up and beat myself up over it, I know that I’m giving my best effort.

Nowhere in the Bible do I read that Jesus did what made him happy. And yet I think he was. Because none of us want to be around unhappy people, and people were drawn to Jesus.

I’m off to cake balls and the Y and a long run…

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