Thieves

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night several years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. That quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal and resembled cottage cheese. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. But then, the thieves struck again.
My butt was next. I knew it was the same people because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. And...my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! Now I had to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. I was petrified - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What would they do next?
When my neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided you all needed to hear my story. Women, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?