Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Why do you talk so much?

I was talking to a friend at church Sunday. Not a close friend (yet), but a lady I love dearly for as well as I know her, and we have plans to get together soon, because I need all the friends I can get and I unashamedly admit that I pursue friendships with godly women.

She commented on something I said last Easter. After a second I realized what she was talking about, I remember last Easter very well. Talking about all the pretty people dressed up in the pretty Easter clothes, all the pretty families, and we weren’t one of them. Whitney in jeans and Uggs and an Alaska hoodie. This Easter she was sporting a pink, yellow and orange tie dyed volleyball tee shirt that says “I love this game” with very distressed jeans and brown toe sandals. (I say that, because when I looked I was shocked it wasn’t the orange chuck’s).

I don’t know if we are any prettier than we were last year, but we are a lot happier. All of us.

Last Easter was a turning point for me at a particularly dark time of my life. In fact, I remember 3 major turning points for me in a 3 month time frame and they were on Easter, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. How awesome is it that the good moments God gave me, (and I would say that they were only big moments to me; they wouldn’t be remembered or matter much to anyone else), came on days that I will remember. He made each of those holidays a good day.

Back to my original point now that I’m done chasing rabbits…hee hee.. Easter. Rabbits? Get it?

I was flattered that she remembered what I had said. But more than that, I was fearful. More fearful even than I was when running from a rattlesnake and staring down a mountain lion (hey, he was real in my head).

We can build up or tear down with our words. I have thrown some difficult ones out recently. I’m not sure I would take them back, given the circumstances I used them in. I do, however, remember the hurt that words have caused me and how long they stay with me. Proverbs 12:18 “Sharp words cut like a sword, but words of wisdom heal.” I have a personal practice that when I’m upset with someone and want to air an issue I pray about it first and then talk to a friend that I trust their counsel before I act. I’ve even had them read e-mails before I send them to make sure I’m not striking out in anger. I haven’t always been this way. I don’t want to cut people down, I don’t want to hurt. And writing this makes me realize I owe a couple of apologies.

Hearing Lori repeat something I said last year has made me think about what I say and just in general how often I talk. This verse makes me laugh, Job 38:2 “why do you talk so much when you know so little?”

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