Patsy and Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

I've had a bad week. I lost my drivers license. Actually threw it away in a bank envelope, that much I know. But three dumpsters later, not luck. And the dumpsters were preferable to the drivers license office. I lost my keys, in the story below I left that part out, but in all my ER visit excitement I lost the only set of keys to Steve's car we have. Because I lost the other set several years ago. Anyway, to put a cap on a emotional (last day of school, high school graduation) week, an exhausting week (Steve's 50 mile run for MS, I went to all but one aid station, drove his volunteers back to their cars and ran the last 10 miles), Thursday was the perfect end to this kind of week. So thankful for the holiday weekend.
Once a month my group at work goes out for a “team building” lunch. We take turns choosing where we will eat. I chose Carlos O Kelly’s and Freddy’s Frozen Custard on my turns to choose, but some of the people I work with choose a little more upscale restaurants and fancier cuisine. Yes, I have now eaten actual "cuisine", as opposed to my Freddy’s. When I was growing up if I had said “pesto” my parents would have washed my mouth out with soap because they have no idea even now what it is. Simple people, that's us. We were goulash and mac n cheese and chicken and noodles. So imagine my surprise the first time we ate at Bella Luna (Mediterranean fare) and my boss bought the appetizers (he always does) and I tried Hummus, and went straight to Quik Trip after for Benadryl. Bonefish (seafood) did this to me also, so I’m guessing it was the sauce, because seafood doesn’t usually bother me. Last Thursday our lunch was at Mike’s Wine Dive. Kind of Cuban with a Latin American twist, or so our waitress told me. I wouldn’t know the difference. I ordered my usual lunch at restaurants I've never been to, hamburger and fries. I live on the edge, people. The appetizers come and a plate is set in front of me with breschetta. I didn’t order it, I didn’t look at it on the menu, someone put food in front of me, and I ate it. Three bites in my mouth starts itching and my throat is itching and swelling. No one has any allergy meds with them. So I walk the half block to Gessler’s pharmacy to get Benadryl. All the time it’s getting worse. I grab a bottle of children’s Benadryl (liquids work faster) and have it out of the box and open by the time I get to counter. I’m drinking it straight from the bottle while she runs my debit card. Clerk is a bit of a comedienne and says “I guess you don’t need a bag?” I walk back to the restaurant begging God to let the Benadryl work faster than the Pesto. Half a bottle should do it, right? But this was a prayer he didn’t answer. It was selfish. It was all about me and my personal pride. I sit in the restaurant getting hotter and hotter. Using every ounce of will power I have not to scratch. I have my jacket off and my shoes off under the table. Where my bra and the waist band of my pants fit I feel like I’m on fire, but good judgement prevailed and I did leave my bra and pants on. One of my co-workers looks at me and says you don’t look good. (I KNOW.) Another one comments that I’m red and swelling. (I KNOW) I say I’m going to call someone to come pick me up. One of my co-workers is taking the afternoon off and she lives two miles from me and she says she will take me home. Awesome. We ask for our checks, make the waitress wait while we pay and I beg her to hurry. (My co-workers were surprised the next day to find out I had food allergies. After four years, they still don't know me. I'm generally pretty careful.) When we get to Ashley’s car she asks the fastest way to get to my house. I tell her take me to the emergency room. Her driving was not the safest, and for a mother of two toddlers I’m guessing this was unusual for her, but the speed and urgency was much appreciated. I’m already feeling humiliated that all my coworkers have seen me this way. As I sit in her car and take off my shoes and unfasten everything constricting I have on and hold the seat belt away from my body (but I am wearing it) I start making phone calls. Steve doesn’t answer. I leave a voice mail “food allergies, St. Francis ER, please come”. I get a text back that says “in a meeting” which means he didn’t listen to the voice mail. I text the same message. Ashley drops me off, offers to come with me, I say no, she pushes a little, I still say no (pride anyone?) and I walk through the doors of the ER. I felt terrible on the way, but standing up and walking made it worse. I walk up to the check in desk and my throat is swollen, my voice is raspy and hard to understand, I’m coughing and I’m swollen and red and covered in hives. I say “allergic reaction, I’m gonna pass out.” They tell me to have a seat (behind the counter) and I ask if I can lay down on the floor. I was in a wheelchair in less than a minute, and if all this hasn’t been humiliating enough, the ER waiting room was full (FULL! Tons of people) of staring, curious (angry that I got the next room) people, and then, I had to ask for a bucket. Still in the check in area. I heaved everything I had eaten for the last four days. They shove those oxygen tubes up my nose (which blowing oxygen straight up your nose is cold and makes your nose hurt) gave me an epinephrine shot (that’s a whole lotta fun) two more full doses of Benadryl, even though I showed them my bottle of children’s, and a shot of something else. Then one of my three nurses, (I must have been much worse off than I thought to get three nurses), asked what I ate, and since one is an amateur chef (okay, maybe not but she makes her own pesto and in my book, that counts), she told me it’s the pine nuts. And then they all lectured me to not eat it again. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I won’t eat anything new ever again without checking the ingredients. I got lectured by the doctor that this is a “deadly” allergy for me because my sats were 85% when they brought me in and still dropping. I don’t know what this means so I ask. Normal people (which I am one) should be at 100%. Smokers and emphysemics are at 91-92%. Interesting side effects, the Benadryl makes me drowsy. The epinephrine makes my heart race, my hands and legs shake and my teeth chatter like the Halloween wind up teeth. So I fall asleep, but any noise, movement or light flash, no matter how quiet or subtle, makes me wake up like I’ve been shocked. I lived through it with strict instructions to go straight to the ER next time, or use my epi pen at home and then go straight to the ER. Not sure why I felt the need to share this with you all, but thank God for co-workers, doctors and epinephrine.