Courage

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I was reminded of this quote on a picture shared on facebook. 

Often by the end of the day I feel that I've had very little success.  I finish a lot of things I start.  I do a lot of hard things.  Mostly because I don't have a choice.  Some things, yes, I could choose not to do.  But I'm not talking running or working out. I'm talking the really important things.

Being a wife.  Being a mother.  Being a friend.  It's hard.

Being a person. 

Being a person.  That sounds funny, I know.  I have been overwhelmed the last couple weeks by the selfishness and arrogance I have witnessed.  Hopefully, no one I'm talking about will read this or recognize themself, but if they do?  I guess I will apologize ahead of time for using them as examples.  I'm sorry.

Complaining about everyone you come in contact with at Walmart or Dillons.  I understand we are all different levels of intelligence and education.  The thing is, we can't help it.  Some of us just aren't as smart as you.  Not on purpose.  God didn't make me/us/them dumb and you a genius and then put me/us/them in your path to annoy you.  Could you show a little compassion?  And maybe you do.  That person in front of you at the pharmacy is not your facebook friend so you bashing their ignorance in your status doesn't offend them.  (But it did me, so I hid your posts.  Because unfriending you would make you bash me as juvenile or ignorant).  I ask questions that I don't know the answer to.  I know that sometimes holds up the line and it's not meant to inconvenience you.  It's just, I need the answer.

And the checker at Walmart? If they were educated (or really intelligent or older than 16) they wouldn't be checking groceries at Walmart.  They'd be at the very least working at Target.  They aren't working their little hearts out till you get in line to slow down. Or letting the old man with 60 items go through their express lane just as you are getting their to ruin your day.  Or needing a price check to irritate you, they don't enter prices in the computer.  That's at least two paygrades over their head.

I've been called ignorant by someone who can't spell.  I laughed.  I've had my running times compared and belittled by a woman who asked how long it took me to run five miles and then she said "I can run one mile in 9 minutes".  Good for you.  I can run one mile in seven and a half minutes.  But I can't do 5 of them that fast.  But I didn't say that to her.  I just let her be faster.  And asked her if she wanted to run 5 miles with me.   And laughed.

The people on the exercise machines at the Y or your boot camp at your women only workout facility or in your running group aren't trying to annoy you by talking.  Or with what they are talking about.  Or the level of their workout. Or the speed or beginner level of their running capabilities.  (This is why I am very selective about who I run with.  I'm afraid I'm not good enough for you).  I read these complaints by several different people.  Then I started paying attention at the Y.  The guy next to me on the treadmill was busting out 7 minute miles.  I sure hope my 10 minute miles didn't offend him.  Or stopping to text Whitney that yes, I knew she was downstairs in the gym, and yes, I wouldn't leave without her wasn't too annoying to the serious gym rats, because I am a parent first.  I also use my phone to listen to music.

I'm challenged everyday to just be human.  To be a person.  A good, kind, caring person.  To understand that life is rough everywhere and to show compassion and kindness, because I don't know people's circumstances.  Could I make a difference with a smile and a kind word?  If so, I want to give it.  I don't always.  Somedays it's all I can do to not being mean and antagonistic.  Impatient.  Harsh.  I hold my tongue.  I hold my comments off of facebook and blogs and don't dish out ugliness in print.  I don't correct your spelling. 

But sometime I hold kind words too. 

Sometimes I hold my encouragement.

Because I don't think you deserve my kindness. I don't think you deserve encouragement.  Kind of witchy, I know, but I do it, and mostly to the people closest to me.  Isn't this sad?  And I have been on purpose trying to correct this.

Sometimes I don't encourage because I'm scared of intruding.  

Steve and I were running Saturday.  As we came a long the bike path we passed a lady sitting by the side of the path, resting from her bike ride, crying and wiping her eyes with a tissue.  We kept running.  It upset me.  Not because she was crying, but because I felt the pull do something and I DIDN'T WANT TO.  I didn't know her, I didn't know what was wrong.  I didn't want to get involved.  How sad.  I finally told Steve to wait and I ran back.  I offered what little encouragement I could in a situation I knew nothing about, and then asked if  I could pray for her, scared she would yell at me or ridicule me or even worse, say yes.  And she did, say yes, and murmered with me while I prayed and thanked me over and over as I ran off toward Steve, loud enough that he heard her.
 
I share this because last spring I was sitting at the Y on the mats stretching after a workout with my headphones in and I was in a particularly bad place and time in life.  And a woman sat down next to me and turned my face toward her with her hand and said "child, I don't know what's wrong with you, but you know Jesus loves you and he cares." 

I did not respond like my lady did.  I looked this brave, sweet stranger in the face and said, "oh yeah?  If he did, then why _____________________?"  And unloaded my crap on her.  She said, she didn't know, but could she pray for me.  It meant the world to me that a stranger took a chance to enCOURAGE me and lift me up. 

She still speaks to me when she passes me at the Y.  Always with a smile.  I haven't forgot the kindness and encouragement of a stranger.  (I do wonder why I have sat at church with tears running down my face and no one stops to ask if I'm okay or if they can pray with me). 

I tend to offer encouragement easiest in the areas it's been given to me.  I guess because it mattered to me, I think it will to others.

The definition of encourage, taken from the root word courage "To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence; hearten."

I have the courage to try again tomorrow.  Many times it's because I have encouraging people in my life.

Thank you to my encouraging friends.  You give me hope and confidence, you give me heart, and you inspire me to be more like you.