I use my words

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

I use a lot of words. I talk a lot, text a lot, e-mail a lot, and even talk on the phone. Additionally, I use lots of words, right here on this blog. I have some rules for these words.

I try to keep it positive. I try not to put anyone down, and if I do single out actions, I try to keep it at a level no one knows it's about them. Except about the orange sundress story, and that was intentional.

There is a blog that has some very hurtful words about me. I asked the author to remove them, but she said she wouldn't because it was part of "her story". I don't visit this blog, but occasionally a well meaning individual will ask me if I know it's out there. I do. This happened last week, it was brought to my attention again. And it just reiterated to me that words hurt. The person who pointed it out to me and the words themself. When someone is hateful and hurtful to you on something as public as a blog, you never know who all has read it. Some of my friends, some of my family, and in this case, I know some people enjoyed it.

I was thinking about how to deal with harsh words. Hurtful words, any words that make you angry or upset. And I went to a meeting today and had to deal with some hurtful words. And it wasn't said in anger. Just words that cut into me pretty deep. So I just answered the questions kindly, directly and picked a seat in the conference room far away.

There are days I would love to tear apart everyone who has hurt me. Publically on my blog, or on their facebook page or even through a personal text, phone call or letter. But I'm pretty sure it would only make me feel worse. Because the verse above says a gentle answer turns away wrath. I don't want wrath in my life. I want love and mercy and gentleness.

And I come to realize that as much as these public words about me hurt, that maybe anyone that reads them will see that I'm less to be pitied than the author. (I'm not mentioned by name, so googling won't help). I realized that just like I'm so careful what I say because it could hurt someone, if I say something harmful, it could also hurt me. Current and future friendships and relationships. What if someone I really love reads something and says, I can't believe she said that? What if I hurt someone they love?

And before you all think I worry to much about what others think of me, when it comes to words, Jesus had this to say in Matthew 12:36, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."

I want there to be as few as possible careless, hurtful words from me that I have to account for on the day of judgment.

I will continue to use my words, and occasionally rant and rave. And think really hard about my responsibility to the lady about the orange sundress.

Let me leave with positive, uplifting words...

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.