Thursday, August 11, 2011

I'm not good

Someone I know, that I know well enough to know that they are not interested in living for God, they have told me they don’t need church or religion, and that God has let them down. They live so that no one would know they are Christians, to the point of putting down other people who are. I wouldn’t say this about many people, but these, I know.

So something happened for them the other day, something good, and they said it was an answer to prayer. In this specific case, I’m praying for the same thing. Hasn’t been answered for me. I was quite unhappy. I do know better than this, really, but I was upset. Why did God see fit to answer their prayer and not mine? He’s an add on in their life. They aren’t interested in living for him, so why should they get the blessings while I continue to try and live the best I can, (knowing my best is pitiful, but I’m trying) and feel like my prayers are falling on deaf ears.

It didn’t take long before I calmed myself (and remembered the verses David wrote about bad things happen to good people and evil people get blessed and why???) and I went on with my day. Kind of. In a snit. What’s the point in being good? In doing right? In even trying? My life has certainly been painful lately.

But again, my Christian school education does me proud as this verse began to rattle around me head.

Galatians 6:9 “So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.”

So I confessed, adjusted my attitude, best as possible, thanked God for their blessing (and this was really hard, but Steve continues to make the point to me to pray for those I have a hard time forgiving and it will come, and he’s right. It’s hard to stay angry and vengeful when you are praying for someone, unless you are praying locusts on their harvest…) and will continue to pray for mine, because at just the right time, I will see the harvest of blessing.

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