OneWord 2011

I had no idea how much this would come to mean to me. How much this word I selected would play over and over in my head. Three months of this year gone. Three months of this year living lies. Three months of this year in total chaos. And yet, my OneWord resonates. (you can read the original OneWord post here http://patsybaker.blogspot.com/2011/01/oneword-2011.html) It has gotten stronger, the need to only control ME, only take care of what I can, only be responsible for ME. God knew what I was going to face this year. He knew what I was going to need. And as I look back and I see him preparing me for the toughest time of my life, I'm amazed by him. The peace I feel in him.

I do feel like pompous donkey for some of the things I thought, for some of the things I said. For not knowing what was happening to me and around me. But God sees all and knows all. He knows the plans he has for us. God doesn't sleep. God doesn't get caught surprised. And he doesn't ever leave me. So I come back to my OneWord for 2011, and I remember ME, but it has changed, to what can God do through ME, not what can I do. Because I am woefully inadequate, wretchedly a sinner, and yet God is still holding me like I'm something valuable. And my wounded soul, my broken heart, desperately need his soothing touch.

I really thought about shutting down my blog. But it's something I love, it's not a chore for me at all. I try to be careful and not say too much or hurt anyone with what I say. And I decided to keep it. My jumbled up life. My issues. but mostly, my Jesus. Because this is a pretty public way to talk about just how special that guy is in my life. I think I have taken Jesus for granted more times than I can count. I am afraid to lose what I feel right now with him. He continues to WOW me everyday. I think that was always there, I just wasn't looking.